Choices

We had our first real “vacation” type experience this year just yesterday as we took our kids to LAGOON amusement park.  The last time we were there was in 2007 - 4 years ago.  We scoured the park all day long and stayed until closing and had a fabulous time that we didn’t want to end.  We stayed through the heat and then the rain until they kicked us out!

                                      

Lagoon 2007                                                  Lagoon 2010

LAST time I was there in 2007, I remember NOT going on most of the rides and being TIRED much of the time.  THIS time it was a blast!  We went from thrill ride to thrill ride and I even rode the coaster “Wicked” which I was too scared to even think about last time.  I rode it with my girls 3 times.  

What a rush!  I really think I could get into thrill coasters.  Now I’m thinking about planning a trip to Magic Mountain!  After going on a ride called the Spider with the kids, I was running and skipping down the exit way towards my husband and put my hands in the air like it was a party.  When I got to him and we hugged, he whispered to me, “You are so young!”  That made me feel good.  I’m glad he didn’t say “You are so immature” even though that is closer to the truth!  lol

I am finding that everyday is about CHOICE.  One bad choice (or several) need not continue or discount good choices OR determine my next choice.  I really love this quote that Christine put on her post a while back and I’d like to share it here:

Whether we're on the path toward victory or defeat is determined by the very next choice we make. Not the choices from yesterday. Not the choices five minutes ago. The next choice. Our very next choice. May it be that of an overcomer.

by Lysa Terkeurst

Every day I start fresh with my healthy food choices.  I refuse to be a statistic!  I truly believe it’s possible to keep this weight off and maintain a healthy lifestyle, even when life gets hard and stressful.  Being healthy makes it easier to handle the stresses of life!  I’m still counting my blessings.  Life is good!

  

Chicken salad with cottage cheese           Salad with chicken meatballs (and hot sauce)

Here are some of our dinners (lean and greens) we had the other day.  Yummy.

I'm still here......

I’ve been avoiding writing here in my blog.  I keep thinking that I will share things when I really get a grasp on it.  Yet do we ever get a grasp on it?  It’s the journey, I suppose.  In my journey, I have been SO blessed.  But it is also SO hard.  Like I’m sure it is for everyone.  I have been experiencing times of eating good and times of making bad food choices.  I am now 15 pounds heavier than my goal and I do not like that.  I do NOT want to gain my weight back.  I do NOT want to go back into a negative, self-loathing state.  I am in a new place and a new environment and I have to work HARDER now to keep the positive momentum I started.  I had so much motivation in Oregon and here I find myself stumbling to find my motivation.  I am new.  I am unknown.  I am isolated.  But I don’t have to stay that way.  One of my Oregon friends reminded me a while ago that I am not unknown to Him (Jesus Christ).  I am not forgotten by Him.  And she is right.  It is through my Savior that I was able to reach the unimaginable goal of losing my weight.  I cannot ever forget that!  And it is through Him also that I will keep this weight off and not get drawn back into a life of sadness and sorrow and self-hating.

I went to a women’s fireside this morning and heard a mother/daughter speak and sing to us about their trials and faith.  Their story was amazing and inspiring and I found myself weeping.  One thought that the daughter shared was that our suffering comes from seeking our will over God’s.  That following God’s will won’t take our pain away but it will take away our suffering.  I’ve also thought about the concept that when we suffer, it can mean that we need to repent.  I first talked about in the first weeks of my journey back in this post.  At first that sounds preposterous because it isn’t always our fault when we are made to suffer.  Yet maybe it’s our lack of not forgiving someone else, or not handling a situation as we know God would want us to that makes us suffer.  There is still so much pondering on that I need to do.  

A friend sent this Youtube link.  It was everything I needed to hear set to some beautiful music and I’m so thankful she sent it.  I’ve watched it several times and  written the words down so I can remember them.  Although these are words from a leader of my Faith, I think someone may also be needing to hear these words and be inspired as I was.

What does all this have to do with health and weight loss?  For my journey, it has everything to do with it.  Because my journey has been one of letting go my will and turning to my Savior and submitting to His will.  Miracles have happened in my life because I have turned to Him.  It’s about changing me on the inside as well as the outside.  I know that I NEED HIS help to do this!

A couple fun things to share.  We had a fun time with family at the park the other day.  I love being closer to my sister and sister-inlaw.  I even practiced playing baseball for the first time in years the and I can still hit a ball pretty far!  It was way fun.  

Also, Brent and I rode our bikes for a 10K the other night and I didn’t even break a sweat.  That felt good.

 And, we had some good friends from Oregon visit us just yesterday... our first to do so!  We had dinner and played games and laughed a lot.  We were overjoyed to see them... and I secretly wanted them to stay for several days.  It was so nice to see their friendly faces from our Oregon “home”.  Life is good!

Life moves pretty fast...

...If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”  as Ferris would say.   I can tell you, I am trying not to miss life, but working on enjoying it.  Are you enjoying life?  I am alive and kicking as I hope you are too. 

Food wise, I was noticing my trend in mindless eating and often eating more than I needed.  So, I’ve recently took a stronger approach to my eating and I am more dutifully eating every 3 hours now and small portions again.  I have specific things I’ve listed out that I am eating to balance out the healthy protein and carbs - including Medifast food as I already love those meal replacements.  I already feel better about it.    

Exercise wise, I am keeping active but I haven’t been running in like 2 weeks.  Brent and I would like to run a 5K coming up here so we need to get our butts in gear.

But, EXCITING wise, 

We now have two miniature dachshund girls!!  

Introducing Zoey and Chloe.  

They are 2 years old and already house trained.  How lucky is that!  Boy, do they add a new dimension to our home and family.  We love it!!  They have so much energy and within hours they have accepted us as their new family.  It is amazing how they can come from the only home and family they've known for 2 years and so quickly give us their total acceptance and love.  It kind of reminds me of our move here and how we have left the only home we've known for 14 years.

And the previous owner said she went jogging with them and they are used to going 3 miles.  Perfect!  I have gone short distance jogging with them and their little legs can cruise!  Sometimes I could not keep up with them.  They will have to slow to my pace.

And here is one of the fabulous views we had one evening in our valley.  Peaceful, serene, quiet, calming, gorgeous, dry and hot describe our new area here in Utah.  We love it!  It will take some time to get settled in socially, but the area is perfect. 

 Life is good!

We are Family....

We got kitties - Happy are we!

We have KITTIES!!  They haven't even been with us 24 hours yet.  Tommy and Tango joined us yesterday.  They are 13 weeks old and we're tickled pink to have them.  My youngest said yesterday "Moving here just got ten times better!" Tommy is the grey one, Tango is the orange one.

Saturday I went running again and with a running partner this time.  It was awesome.  We went 3 miles in 35 minutes.  She showed me a whole new running path and we had a nice visit.  Sure makes moving here a little nicer.  Hopefully we'll go running again this week.

But one downer is that my weight is up a little from my norm.  In just a week it jumped like 8 pounds.  Yikes!  It has to do with what I'm eating, which included eclairs from a baby shower and cake & ice cream from a birthday and too many PB & J sandwiches.  Now I'm pulling in those reins!  I've got my knox blox and lots of healthy food in the house.  And I've got my kids watching me like a hawk!  They know I don't want to go back so they watch what I do around desserts.  Sometimes it annoys me but overall I am thankful.  :)  Life is good!!

For the first time...

I made knox blox here in my new house in Utah.  Yay.  I guess that really solidify’s our move; I’ve made my mainstay snack.  Not only that, but there was a women’s church activity last night and I took my knox blox as one of the desserts.  I had peach/banana flavor and raspberry/huckleberry flavor.  They were enjoyed.  My first social function and it wasn’t too bad.  I was mostly by myself smiling at everyone but I did meet a lady who has done a triathlon and who goes running 3x a week.  Bingo!  Possible running partner.  She also goes about 3 miles which is about what I’m at so that might work out good.  I am a little bummed that I can’t find any group that plays basketball.  I am really gonna miss that!!

Yesterday I went running again in the morning.  This time I took some Advil before running and said several prayers that my knee would last a little longer.  I was able to run for 35 minutes!!  My knee was strained but not too bad.  Although, my leg muscles are very sore today, I’m glad I went again. 

My daughter and I went for a bike ride last night again.  I showed her the cool trails that we had discovered the night before.  I think I got her hooked because she kept wanting to go over a series of small dirt hills all rolled together.  Wickedly fun.  She said “Wow, mom, we’re so dangerous!”  It was so fun and the evening air was cool and great smelling!  We rode clear to the foot of one of the mountains and looked back for a great view of the homes in the valley.  

Food wise, I haven’t been keeping strict tract of myself but I have been generally working on eating lots of fruits and veggies.  For snacks I am loving cashews, fresh pineapple, red peppers, celery, bananas and beef jerky.  I am excited to be making some great overall changes to my family’s eating habits.  There is still lots of room for improvement.  We make lots of salads.  I hope to have a garden next year.  


And next on the horizon is getting 1 or 2 kittens!!!  Then in a month or two, we want to get 1 or 2 miniature dachshunds!  How cool is that gonna be!!  We have waited YEARS to get pets.  And who knows... maybe we'll eventually get chickens and goats and who knows what else?

I hope you are having a great on-plan day, making healthy choices and being kind to yourself and those around you.  You are worth it!  Life is good!

I never knew...

That I loved nature SOO much!!  There is something about bringing my eating into harmony with how God would want me to eat and being able to enjoy all of His creations.  When I was heavy, I don’t remember loving the outdoors or smelling that fresh air or noticing the intricate beauty of trees and mountains!  I feel like I can’t get enough of it now!

To rewind back a bit... these last few days have been hard.  Brent has gone back to work and I don’t know a single soul here.  There is so much to do and I find myself sleeping in way late & my kids do too.  I’ve layed in bed early in the mornings thinking to myself that I should go run.  I haven’t run since well before my move and I have been eating extra calories.  I need to get more active!  But I find reasons to lay in bed and rest or think and procrastinate my mornings away.  BUT today, I got up and went running!  Yay me!  I ran for 20 minutes until my knee started hurting.  I will need to build it up again so I’ll take it easy and not push it.  It was a nice run and I enjoy seeing my thin shadow on the pavement.  It still surprises me that it’s my shadow!  Brent and I are thinking about running another 5K in August here in Utah.  That would be our first 5k running together if we do!

Then tonight, my girls had a church activity so me and the boys had a delicious dinner of salad and tai peanut chicken.  There was a loud thundering and lightening storm around dinner time with a major downpour of rain.  After that was all done, we went for a bike ride.  WOW!  Pictures just can’t do justice to the beauty here.  We live in our own valley with surrounding majestic mountain ranges and amazing sunsets.  There are gravel and dirt trails all over along with paved trails.  There are fields of wheat and bushes of mint and all kinds of yummy smells.  

 We had so much fun exploring for several miles around our house and naming the dirt roads our own names so we can refer to them later.  I could explore those trails for hours on end and never get bored!

Today was a good day.  

Next, I hope to get my kids signed up for school and pray that they will find good friends - kindred spirit friends.  And I may slip a few prayers in there that I will find some too!  
Life is good!

Yay... I have internet again!

It’s been two weeks since I last posted and it feels like months!  I write from a new place.  A new home, new state, new climate, a new outlook...  but before I share that, I’ll rewind just a week ago today when Brent flew into Oregon. 

We knew with our move that our work was cut out for us, so we snuck out to the midnight showing of the last Harry Potter movie!  It did not disappoint!

Then the next two days we spent loading and preparing to move.  Not to brag... but... I had everything boxed and even all the shelving in our garage taken down and ready for my man to load.  I was aiming to impress and I did!  We hoped to fit everything into the biggest moving van we could get, and much to our disappointment it did NOT fit.  So I ran off to rent a trailer to tow behind our suburban and then our stuff still did NOT fit.  So we packed our suburban full tilt and still we had to leave stuff behind and just give it away.  Be the end of Saturday night, I was too exhausted to even feel emotional about it.  I left my Dyson vacuum!  (I made such a fuss just to get one a few years ago).  Drat.

Okay... moving on (no pun intended)... after a glorious nights sleeps at our friends home - who had our whole family over for a dinner and relaxing sleep - we left the next evening after last minute details and attending church.  So we drove away from our church parking lot with some of our kid's friends waving us farewell.   What an epic way to leave!

Brent drove that huge moving truck and I followed in our suburban towing the trailer.  Every time he swerved, I was calling him on the cell phone asking him if he was fully awake! I got a little paranoid... oops!  We stopped only for gas and restroom and to down our 5-hour energy drink. 

I went through a whole box of tissues on the way as I felt myself getting sick.  It helped that we (my daughter & I) listened to the Dramatized New Testament on CD the whole way - which was awesome.  We made it to our new home in 16 hours - and on my 43rd birthday.  Happy Birthday Me!  BTW - our new home is in UTAH (sorry I didn't include that before:)

We’ve moved 11 times in our 22 years of marriage... and this was our hardest move ever.  But having said that, this was also the move that I have been up for the most physically!  I even surprised myself that I didn’t run out of energy and could last for as long as I did and do as much as I did!  I know it’s having that weight off that has made the difference.  I am SO thankful for that.  

Every day so far, after unpacking and cleaning, I go out for a bike ride and I am just loving the little paths I’m finding.  There isn’t the green tree’s and foliage from Oregon, but there are amazing mountains and dirt pathways and jumps to explore.  Very cool!  It’s a new start and a new life... and we are finally together as a family again!  Check out this view from last night looking out from my garage.  Amazing!

My list of “to do” things is still huge and the work to do is overwhelming.  I also miss Oregon and our friends there so much!  It’s so much harder to say goodbye and leave for me... it really tears at my heart.  I think I am built differently that way.  It feels like we are already long forgotten!  I know the past is just a memory and the future is not here yet, but the present is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present.  So I am enjoying the present!  And being with Brent and my oldest son again is the best!   Life is good!

TIme Capsule Found

As we were boxing today, we ran across a time capsule that belonged to one of my daughters.  She was excited to open it.  It's from the year 2005 - so it's 6 years old.  Included in the capsule was this picture!  We had won something in our apartment complex at the time of this picture and we went to claim it.

Just thought I'd post this real quick because I was a little shocked to see this picture.  Seems like yesterday yet a lifetime ago!  I should blow it up and put it on my fridge to help me remember that I'm NEVER TO GO BACK!  

Maybe we should make a new time capsule! :)

The Funnest thing ever...

is RIDING MY BIKE!!
I love it, I love it, I love it!!!

Today we started boxing.  And I don't mean the sport... although it was kind of like a sport in that we got tired and sweaty.  Just my three kiddies and I and we did pretty good.  If I can get a good amount done every day, I'm hoping to not get overwhelmed.  But there is a LOT to do!  :)

Here is our meal together.  I made a family favorite for the first time in over a year:  Tator Tot Casserole.  I used extra lean ground beef and ground turkey breast, and light cheese.  It was delish.  The key is to have a big ol' salad with it.  I will not make this very often, I'm thinking.

So... after all our packing, it's nice to go for a little bike ride.  My thing is to ride without holding the handlebars.  It is so fun.  It freaks out my little guy and he keeps thinking I'll crash.

What is your funnest thing ever?

The Fear of Insignificance

I have a prominent memory of a time when I was 9 years old when on a Sunday afternoon, my older brother Mark, shared with our family a poem he had written.  Now, I am the youngest of 7 children - 5 of whom are boys, and when you have that many siblings, you have to often fight to be heard or noticed.  Or so it seemed to me.  I don’t remember what Mark’s poem was about, but I do remember how much my parents and siblings LOVED his poem and were so impressed with his ability to write.  I remember all the praise and attention he got for it.

So feeling the need for some praise and attention of my own, I headed by to my room and proceeded to write my own poem.  I struggled through my writing and rhyming and after lots of editing, I emerged with a poem.  It was called “The Future”.  My first real poem ever.  I excitedly came out of my room and hurried to my family to share my accomplishment and read my poem to them.   

I smiled and beamed as I read it... and waited for their response, hoping they might think it had merit as I thought it did.  They did think it was good.  The problem was... none of them believed that I actually wrote it!  I tried to convince them that it was my own work but they just smiled that smile that says “That’s nice Margene...  we know you just really want attention.”  

Looking back, this event was a beginning of my belief that those I love don’t truly value me or my talents and that although they care about me somewhat, I am insignificant to them in reality.  

INSIGNIFICANT

It’s 33 years later and it’s amazing how those feelings still haunt me.  It is a very painful thing to believe that!  Beliefs like that have ruled my life, brought me so much sorrow, been the source of an unimaginable amount of tears, kept me feeling alone and unwanted, and fed into my self-loathing.  No doubt a catalyst for my overeating and becoming obese as well.

So yes, my life has changed.  And yes, I am recognizing the big “lies” I’ve believed for so long and I do feel happier in my life than I have in years!   It has taken time, but slowly I’ve been letting go of these beliefs and choosing to believe a positive view.  Those chains have been loosening and are falling away.  It is totally refreshing and like feeling free!

But sometimes that feeling creeps back in... usually at a very inopportune time.  Something is spoken or something happens or something makes me question... and that fear of being insignificant - of being expendable, patronized, or only tolerated by those I love - floods my mind and heart faster than a flash flood!  And it brings an immediate pain to me physically in my heart.  I cannot describe the power it has over me and the power exhorted on my soul to embrace the thought and believe it.  It is so hard NOT to believe it.  Even though I know this is from the Adversary - and he knows my “achilles heel”, it still takes every last drop of effort and prayer for me to overcome.  It’s so easy to surrender and just give in to sorrow and spend a few hours weeping in my bed - which sometimes would turn into days or weeks.  Just like the old days.  But I don’t want to go back to those old days!

I am sick of fearing that I am insignificant!  “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”  2nd Timothy 1:7

I love the words to the song “Where love is, there God is also.  Where love is, I want to be...”  Those words mean so much!  I don’t want to be in the place where I don’t feel His love!  So I will always have to fight it, when those feelings creep in.  I don’t want to allow satan to steal my joy anymore!

I hope someone reading this can relate to these experiences and benefit from what I’ve learned (and still learning).  I wouldn’t wish this kind of heartache on anyone.  “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”  John 14:27

Happy Independence Day!!!

Happy 4th of July my friends!!  How wonderful to live in this GREAT country.  I'm feeling blessed today.

We got up early, my 3 kids and I - (Brent and my oldest are in Utah).  And we went to the city center to do the CAT walk/run 5k!!  My daughter was running it with me while my other daughter and son were saving spots along the parade route with friends.

I drove with my friend and her daughters and hooked up with Joy and her daughter there too!  We had a fun little group!

Joy and Margene

The weather was perfect and it was a beautiful sunny morning.  After our little aerobic warm up, the race started.  Immediately I was separated from everyone in my group - because of the crowd and since we all were at different paces.  But I started my pace and just kept it. I didn't think to bring my ipod and without having a partner right beside me, I knew I was in for some mind-games!  About one third the way in, I thought of my parents... and in my mind I dedicated this run to them.  I was also running for my sister who is a cancer survivor.  It became an endearing and emotional run right away.  

Then I thought of Brent and imagined him running next to me.  I sang the words to "Whole Wide World" that I have posted in a previous post... I stared at the road ahead of me and tried my best not to think about how much longer I had.  The last stretch, I lengthened my stride and was really feeling it.  There were parade spectators who seemed to cheer the people in front of me and the people coming after me.  I felt very solo and wished I knew someone along the route I could wave to and who could give me a cheer.  But I imagined it in my head.  I pushed it, hoping to match or beat my record from the Starlight run of 42 minutes.  

When I came up to the finish - it said 34 minutes 14 seconds!!!  

WOWEE!!!  

I crossed alone with no one waiting for me or with me or any cheering... but I felt like I just won the lottery!  It felt awesome!

Soon Joy's daughter, and then Joy came running across.  She ran the whole way too!  What a rockstar!!  And then my daughter and her friends!  So Awesome!  Here I am with my daughter after our run.

Last year this was my FIRST 5K and I just walked it.  I remember it being quite hard to just walk it and I did it in about an hour.  Now I'm here a year later and I ran it in 34 minutes!  I feel so thankful that I could do this!!  Below is a pic with my friend and I from last year and then this year!  

2010 CatWalk

2011 CatWalk

What a difference a year makes.  How many years of my life went by and I did NOTHING to improve myself.  How many years did I feel tied up in doubt and self loathing.  I hope to celebrate every single day of my life and every single blessing I have!  I don't want to waste a single day anymore!

I hope you have a FABULOUS day, my friends and do something to celebrate YOUR life and the lives of those you love!  You are worth it!  Life is good!!

Only 18 days left!

I felt like deleting my last post right after I wrote it... but you know... I’m keeping it real.  I have done better since then!  (thanks for all your encouraging comments!) It’s a learning experience.  I told my kids the other day that our whole family is going to need to be on board with continuing healthy eating!  That we can’t have our old type of foods in the house anymore... like at all.  If we eat like that every once in a blue moon... then it needs to be OUTSIDE the home and NOT brought back into the home.

So... STRESS!  How do you handle it?

How do you handle anxiety?  Disappointment?  Rejection?  Pressure?  Criticism?  Self-criticism?  Worry? Loneliness?  

Can you laugh things off and let them go or do you take things in and absorb it completely?

How do you learn to marinate in the Good, the Positive, and the Hopeful and ignore the other stuff?  

How do you embrace all the positive in life and let go of all the stress and negative?

These are the things I am learning and practicing.  It’s a new way of life for me!  It is taking lots of pratice and letting go of the old ways I used to think and react to things.  

Yes, it used to be that like 10 brownies with milk would be comforting... soothing... heavenly even.  For a short-term fix.  But long term... not so much.

I absolutely LOVE to ride my bike.  It’s like a new love.  I practically dream about pulling it out of the garage and taking off all the time.  I LOVE playing basketball.  I LOVE running WITH a friend.  I used to not love these things but they are new loves now.  I love to sit in my chair and look down and see that there are a few inches on each side of my hips before the sides of the chair.  I love feeling pretty again.  You have no idea how long I have felt SO unattractive... ugly even.  I LOVE feeling like my husband can be proud of me.  I LOVE feeling closer to my girls because of how I feel about myself.  I know I keep saying these things over and over but I keep feeling it over and over.  My life has so changed.  I feel so humbled to have been given another chance.  Another chance to live better, be a better example, be a better wife and mother, a better sister, a better friend, and better to myself.

We are moving in 18 days!!

(Acckkkkk)

(On my B-day even!)

Guess what?  

We FINALLY have a place to move to!  The house that we have an offer on (short sale) that we’re waiting on the bank for - we actually get to move into and rent it from the owners until it closes.  This is a HUGE blessing and an answer to our prayers.  Brent will move into it next week, actually.  He’s been living in my brother’s shed.  So he’ll have time to do some clean up and fix up of our house before we move.  I haven’t packed a single box!!  YET.  But I will.  I did have a yard sale and got rid of some of our stuff.

Life is going to get busy really fast... and it’s all exciting.  It’s also VERY bittersweet to be moving from our friends and family here.  This is going to be a very emotional move for me!  I get a lump in my throat just thinking about it.  I miss Brent so much, though.  I am SO hug deprived... I never realized how much I need and love his hugs every day.  Talking on the phone just doesn’t do that the same!

In trying to enjoy every moment here in Oregon, my daughter and I rode to the farmers market the other day, which we have never gone to.  After exploring all the booths and buying NO junk food, we rode through the town and treated ourselves to panda express.  Notice, I chose the steamed veggies and lower carb sides!  Then we rode home.  Total sweetness.

Life is good!

I am so baddddd!!!

I am SO naughty!!  
I am SO evil!!

I just made a batch of sugar cookies and ate a ton of them just now!  With milk too!  We are getting ready to celebrate my daughters birthday and I was telling myself that I was making them for the party.  I am SO BAD!!!  I already ate cake at the reception dance I did the other day.  One and a half pieces of cake.  Rich cake.  Wedding cake.

I am going jogging tomorrow....

So EVIL!!!

I will try NOT to eat the pie and ice cream they have later for the party.
EVIL!!  
BAD!!

Okay, gotta go now.... party is at the park and I am driving...

Butterflies...

I’m home back in Oregon now and life is fun and crazy.  It’s like the inside of the cyclone sort of.  Tonight I have a DJ event I am doing by myself.  Loading, driving, unloading, setting up, MCing, running music, taking down, etc .... all without Brent.  For some reason, I am extremely nervous as I want this event to go well and not have any probs w/ the equipment or vehicle or finding the place.  Knowing that it’s just me is a lot of pressure.  But I’ve done this for years - albeit, usually with somone.

There is also no food in the house - except for a couple bunches of VERY ripe banana’s that were left while I was gone.  So.... I made banana bread.  Yum.  Oh banana... how I have missed thee!  Your yummy sweetness, your enjoyable smell... oh banana how I love thee warm and moist... Banana bread makes everything right, doesn’t it?  Except I shouldn’t eat too much of it.

The scale shows me at 138 today.  I was so pleased to be under 140 after my trip to Utah.  Traveling can throw you off and it’s hard to get all my water in.  I meant to go running this morning but didn’t get to it... if I don’t have someone to go with I easily just end up not going.  But I did ride my bike to the bank so there’s a few miles.  It is beautiful outside and I am so thankful to be with my girls again and I know there are bright things in the future.  So I am plowing through today and hope I survive!

I also am signed up for another 5k in a couple weeks.  I walked this exact 5k last year after I’d lost some of my weight.  How awesome to come back this year and run it!  I am so thankful that I’ve gotten to this point in my life where I can finally do this.  It is so liberating to feel capable and I know where my strength comes from and will never forget that!

I’ve been trying not to have soda but today I'm going to drink some diet Dr. Pepper and hope these butterflies take a break.

Take care, my friends!  XoxoxOX ~Margene

I'm still here....

In Utah with my man and boys.  Okay, yesterday I did indulge more that I should.  Brent and I actually went out on a date and went to my new favorite place to eat:  Zupas!!  Okay, we need one of these in Oregon.  They have incredible salads and sandwiches.

Here is a pic of their salad menu.  I had the Red Raspberry Spinach and it was SO good.

Today I want to go and try the MangoBerry salad.  Then we perused University Mall.  Okay, this is the mall we cruised through as teens but it has really changed in 26 years.  Doesn't seem quite as "cool"... BUT...

I did finally have my frozen yogurt!!  Let's see, it's been about 2 years and it was pretty yummy.  After that we went and saw "Super 8" and we had buttered popcorn.  THIS is where I should have not given in.  I wasn't hungry, I just wanted to munch.  So I did eat way too many calories.  But, lesson learned.  I told Brent I don't want to have movie popcorn again for a LONG time.  I don't need it.  I went through my whole weight loss  months without it and was fine!  But it was fun for one night.

And this morning.... we went running.  And guess what?  I ran 3 miles without stopping!  ... in 36 minutes!!!  I totally wasted my man!!!  It felt so great.  Here I am in Brent's "shed" after the run.

Something about jogging just brings my emotions out.  As I was finishing the last 1/2 mile, I thought about the book I've read called "Running with Angels" about an obese woman who lost her weight walking and running.  I thought about my angel parents and imagined them running with me.  Finally... I feel that they would be pleased with me!  You know, I bear their names.  Marjorie and Eugene - they put their own names together to come up with Margene.  I used to not like my name.  Finally, I can represent their names and honor their legacy of love, service and devotion to the Lord.  I finally don't see myself as their obese loser daughter!  I can't even express how amazing and liberating that feels for me.  Brings tears to my eyes.

Today, we're off to see some of our homes.  One of these homes will most likely be our own home in just about a month.  And we're so excited to finally get pets.  Here is my little guy with "Ellie"... my brothers dog.

This kid needs his own dog, I tell ya.  It is SO fun to see him playing with Ellie.

I hope you, my friends, have a wonderful day and make good choices and enjoy your life because it is good!!
 XOxoxo ~Margene