Our Quest to change our lives began in Feb. 2010 and we lost 224 lbs. This is the story of our continuing Journey through the ups and downs of maintenance.
(For the fullest effect, begin at the beginning in Feb. 2010 using our Blog Archive on sidebar)

Saturday, August 27, 2011

I'm still here......

I’ve been avoiding writing here in my blog.  I keep thinking that I will share things when I really get a grasp on it.  Yet do we ever get a grasp on it?  It’s the journey, I suppose.  In my journey, I have been SO blessed.  But it is also SO hard.  Like I’m sure it is for everyone.  I have been experiencing times of eating good and times of making bad food choices.  I am now 15 pounds heavier than my goal and I do not like that.  I do NOT want to gain my weight back.  I do NOT want to go back into a negative, self-loathing state.  I am in a new place and a new environment and I have to work HARDER now to keep the positive momentum I started.  I had so much motivation in Oregon and here I find myself stumbling to find my motivation.  I am new.  I am unknown.  I am isolated.  But I don’t have to stay that way.  One of my Oregon friends reminded me a while ago that I am not unknown to Him (Jesus Christ).  I am not forgotten by Him.  And she is right.  It is through my Savior that I was able to reach the unimaginable goal of losing my weight.  I cannot ever forget that!  And it is through Him also that I will keep this weight off and not get drawn back into a life of sadness and sorrow and self-hating.
I went to a women’s fireside this morning and heard a mother/daughter speak and sing to us about their trials and faith.  Their story was amazing and inspiring and I found myself weeping.  One thought that the daughter shared was that our suffering comes from seeking our will over God’s.  That following God’s will won’t take our pain away but it will take away our suffering.  I’ve also thought about the concept that when we suffer, it can mean that we need to repent.  I first talked about in the first weeks of my journey back in this post.  At first that sounds preposterous because it isn’t always our fault when we are made to suffer.  Yet maybe it’s our lack of not forgiving someone else, or not handling a situation as we know God would want us to that makes us suffer.  There is still so much pondering on that I need to do.  
A friend sent this Youtube link.  It was everything I needed to hear set to some beautiful music and I’m so thankful she sent it.  I’ve watched it several times and  written the words down so I can remember them.  Although these are words from a leader of my Faith, I think someone may also be needing to hear these words and be inspired as I was.
What does all this have to do with health and weight loss?  For my journey, it has everything to do with it.  Because my journey has been one of letting go my will and turning to my Savior and submitting to His will.  Miracles have happened in my life because I have turned to Him.  It’s about changing me on the inside as well as the outside.  I know that I NEED HIS help to do this!
A couple fun things to share.  We had a fun time with family at the park the other day.  I love being closer to my sister and sister-inlaw.  I even practiced playing baseball for the first time in years the and I can still hit a ball pretty far!  It was way fun.  

Also, Brent and I rode our bikes for a 10K the other night and I didn’t even break a sweat.  That felt good.

 And, we had some good friends from Oregon visit us just yesterday... our first to do so!  We had dinner and played games and laughed a lot.  We were overjoyed to see them... and I secretly wanted them to stay for several days.  It was so nice to see their friendly faces from our Oregon “home”.  Life is good!


Anonymous said...

A scary place to be. I know. But God is bigger--we both know that.

Praying for you and your hubs.


Christine said...

I understand the place where you are at....when we get to goal weight it becomes a different type of journey but it still must remain surrendered to the Lord as you stated.
We can and will live in VICTORY as long as we continue to keep our lives focused, I will be praying for you as we go through this different point in our journey!
Much Blessings!

Michele said...

Margene, I know this is hard. For me, I am a very slow loser. You know that. But, I also have learned this past year that I must keep up my healthy habits once I get to goal. I know this because if I stray a little, maybe just not exercising regularly, I do not lose at all.

You already know there is no magic. It is hard work to lose it and to keep if off. But, you can do it. Your faith will help you, too. Stay strong, Margene, and find others to share your story.

Joy said...

Oh Friend, I am so sad you are struggling!

The seasons are changing, well at least in Oregon, not sure what it looks like in Utah, but anyway, it's always a great time to refocus. Take this time and set some new goals, get your bucket list done for fall, get some things done, explore you new area, make 1 new friend, join a club, set new health and fitness goals.

I hope you will find new energy and excitement soon!!

You can so do this!!

Love and hugs!!!

Lucy said...

Margene, I'm sorry, I have to disagree just a bit here on suffering.

Suffering is not always a sign that you are disobeying God or because you are seeking your will over God's will. God is drawn to those who suffer – He seeks to heal and make whole those who suffer.

Jesus suffered on the cross. He was following his father's will. How do we know this? Because of what Jesus said, "My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me."

Sometimes suffering is a direct result of doing/seeking and desiring God's will.

Just because you suffer doesn't mean you lack faith. Now THAT is preposterous.

The fact that you seek to please him …that’s God working in you in the first place to want to do what’s right.

He knows you and He loves you Margene - all that you are. Your weaknesses do not discourage Him. He's not 'put off' by your struggles.

Suffering is not punishment.

A Friend,

gracies tough journey said...

Struggles are a part of life. I guess it makes us stronger. (Ok, sometimes I dont buy that concept). But, we need to turn it over to Gods hands and we will make it thru. This is not new to you and you know deep in your soul that you will overcome this. You have all the elements to succeed and more true faith than most. I too, have faith in you.

Love the family pictures. Hugs. Gracie

Julie said...

Always do your best and let the Lord do the rest. It's hard though to just follow him without trying to do something else that's not on plan (in more ways then one) but with prayers and leaning you will do wonderfully Margene. I know you will.
I had to go back into weigh loss mode, I can't do maintenace right now, it's not in the books for me. I gained back way to much in just a little over a month so know that I am not ready. So new goals, more life style changes and I will get to where I can be but for me I think I'll be learning forever and forever on the diet type thing...well life in general too really.
Take care Margene and have a blessed and awesome day. It's Friday, a great day to look ahead to the long weekend and plan some super fun family things. We are going camping, just Jim and I, I think. The first time ever without Mike. It'll be interesting, a challenge but I am hoping loving and a time to reconnect.
Bye my friend, enjoy the day.

gracies tough journey said...

Julie that is perfect "Always do your best and let the Lord do the rest". Just checkin in to see if all is well. Thinking of you... Gracie

Rettakat said...

It sounds like there have been so many changes, even in your journey (from wt loss mode to maintenance), and with this move... I hope you have had time by now to slow down and find time alone for yourself. Just you and Him. I know He will help you adjust and find an "updated" plan to follow.

I appreciated what you said about choosing His will over our own. He's so loving to keep teaching us as we go.

I'm sure in time you will find your groove, and God will, again as before, give you what you need to do this.

E. Jane said...

Major changes in our lives can also be stressors, no matter what, but you are strong and you will find your way. You have an open heart and will embrace what is new in your life and make it yours. Thanks so much for the You Tube piece. It's what I needed today, and you provided. What a service!