Our Quest to change our lives began in Feb. 2010 and we lost 224 lbs. This is the story of our continuing Journey through the ups and downs of maintenance.
(For the fullest effect, begin at the beginning in Feb. 2010 using our Blog Archive on sidebar)

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

17 years ago...

...Today was when my father passed away... peacefully in our home from cancer.  He was an amazing man and left a legacy of strength, faith, and obedience.  I miss him.  It would have been fun for him to be alive and see me now.  I am the baby of 7 children and my dad always called me his "little one".  Funny that I got obese and did not feel like his little one... but now, I wouldn't mind hearing him call me that!

Brent is really going through some big time stress these last few days... to where he is in survival mode and not really keeping up with his eating every 3 hours like he should.  He's living on his diet soda for coping.  I have faith that we WILL find the answer to conquering his stress... just wish it would be sooner than later.

Last night was a little hard for me emotionally.  I see that I go through the same patterns in my thoughts and  I work SO HARD to overcome them.  Only God knows how hard it is for me and how hard I work at it.  I was telling Brent how cool it would be right now if my mom was alive... how I would love to hang out with her, call her on the phone, go shopping with her, learn from her... how I miss her and that unconditional love!

We have so many opportunities for growth and there are exciting things on our horizon... it's still a trek to get there.  I am fighting thoughts of feeling alone.  So many situations in my life have led me to believe that I am too much for people... that they only want me in small doses.  But I know that may be a lie and that my Savior loves me and He misses me - and He's the creator of this earth so that says something.

Sticking on plan, praying for the hubs, and looking at a bright future.  Life is good!
My Dad & Me when I was 11 at a "Daddy Daughter Date"


Shabby Chic Mom- Susie said...

What a nice picture. My dad will be 18yrs this sept. I love being able to remember and honor them today. Hope your hubby feels better.

Anonymous said...

It's good that you have warm memories of your dad, but it makes his absence harder. I miss my dad, too, so I understand.

I pray that you feel your heavenly Father's arms around you right now.


Julie said...

I can't even imagine the pain of not having your daddy here at any age. I have mine and love every single minute we have together. It's so nice living a county next door to him and mama.
My daddy never had a real nickname for me, just "his". He introduces me as "his". Not his daughter or this is my oldest, just "his". I can handle that.
I'll say a prayer for your hubs so he can find less stress and also for you to help him and also find some peace that I can feel you need.
Take care Margene and have a blessed afternoon.

gracies tough journey said...

I can relate. I miss my parents and that unconditional love. I also have to fight those feelings of loneliness. But as you know and I need to remember, we are not alone.

Polar's Mom said...

Do NOT think that. You may be too much for your friends at times (I don't know), BUT your true friends will still always love you and be there no matter what, even if you annoy the crap out of them at times. Chances are though, unless they are larger peeps and completely jealous of your success, that they love you very much, are so proud of you, and your thoughts are your issues alone. Your a super gal, I don't have to know all about you to know that, and I would bet the farm that there are many people, in addition to God, that love you unconditionally.

Polar's Mom

The Fat Mom said...

I teared up reading your post. Thankfully, both my parents are still around for me. They have been there for me in some difficult times and I can't imagine losing them just yet.

I hope that Brent can figure out how to deal with his stress. Stress is sometimes the hardest thing to deal with for me.

I'm praying for both you and him this week.

Heather said...

I think sometimes life is a little hard for people and they feel bad and they telegraph that bad feeling and people who are intuitive and sensitive and caring, people like you, take that to mean that THEY are the problem when they are not. I think life can be too much for all of us sometimes but we have to remember that we are all God's children, here for a purpose and we are not "too much" we are are just enough.

I think you make your Dad proud every day that you keep trying and keep keeping on. I hope Brent finds some peace. Stress can be a heavy burden. Thankfully he's got so much help from you and thankfully, you're just enough. Stay strong, Margene. We all know you are a wonderful person!!

-Love and Peace

Weas said...

I love the picture of your Daddy Daughter Date! I remember my dad once said to a waitress that we were on a date when I was like 10 and I was soooo embarrassed!

I'm sure you're father was a great man! And you know he's proud of you, even now!

Lanie Painie said...

You are lovable and worthy of love. Don't doubt that, please, ever.

I envy your wonderful memories of your parents. I wasn't lucky enough to have my dad so long and can barely remember him. Cherish those memories girlfriend!

Lanie Painie said...

Thanks for stopping by Margene :)

I would love for you to email me if you are willing. I want to talk to you more w/o bothering other followers, but can't find your email. Mine's on my profile.

Lisa said...

I am sooo sorry for the loss of your dad. :( I would love to see your family blog if you feel comfortable giving me an invite.

Bringing Pretty Back said...

Margene, I am sorry about the anniversary of the loss of your dad.
Your poor hubby with the stress.
Some days are just "heavy" aren't they.
Thinking of you ,

Joy said...

Love the picture!!! I lost my dad when I was 4 and then my step dad when I was in my late 20's. I really miss my dads. Just something about dads that make things better!

Sorry things are tough for your hubby!!

Keep up the great work!!!