Our Quest to change our lives began in Feb. 2010 and we lost 224 lbs. This is the story of our continuing Journey through the ups and downs of maintenance.
(For the fullest effect, begin at the beginning in Feb. 2010 using our Blog Archive on sidebar)

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Struggles Make The Prize Greater...

I am not one who likes to struggle or suffer or be full of heartache!  I don’t like feeling like a mis-fit or friendless or lonely or ugly or fat or unwanted!  I absolutely detest feeling like a 3rd wheel or forgotten or unappreciated or insignificant!  I hate feeling like I have no value and that my life is of little worth to anyone!  
Who does?  
(okay, that might be a question for a psychiatrist).
Yet I have felt (and often still feel) many of those things... 
Life is so ironic, though!  I see that because of my struggles - my triumphs have HUGE meaning to me.  The times I overcome and conquer those feelings have been the SWEETEST of victories - even tho they may be seemingly small.
Perhaps what seems small to us, are viewed as HUMONGOUS strides to the angels who watch us!  Perhaps the obstacles in this life - swimming upstream so to speak - make any upward movement, no matter how small, a triumph worth celebrating!  I am convinced this is true.
I overcame some things this week.  I overcame extreme guilt and self-anger at indulging in two servings of a high-sugar dessert I hadn’t planned.  I overcame self-pity at having no running buddy.  I overcame some lonely feelings and sadness that no friend called me when I really wanted it.  I overcame the hurts I felt from some family members.  I overcame some self-doubts I was having...
I can forgive myself.  
I can forgive others.  
I can keep moving forward.  
I can SMILE everyday at the Goodness that is in my life!!
I have my life back!  I have my health back.  I can run.  I can ride my bike.  My relationship with my kids is so much better.  I have the most amazing supportive husband ever!  I have a stronger relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ.  I know He suffered for me and I am of great worth to Him!  I have wonderful friends in my life.
My life is a Miracle!  
I have what my mother didn’t have... a SECOND CHANCE!  
(She died at 56 from heart disease)
I will take it
and live in HER honor 
and become that daughter that is worthy to bear her name!
I have to post this video... that reminds me how much greater the prize is - because of what we go through to get it!  NEVER GIVE UP!  

Updates:

I am Loving playing basketball again - even tho I’m the oldest one there by like 10 years (didn’t even realize that till I thought about it).  It’s okay... I’m living my life and excited I can play!


Got some running shoes!  (I took back my Costco ones)  I went to a running store and got “fit” for these and I’m so glad I did.  I learned some tips on running and how to avoid knee damage.  So far this time in training, my knees have not been hurting at all!  So happy about that.  I still wear knee supports every time I run or play bb because I don’t want to damage them.
I have been ROCKING IT with my running.  Went last Friday and ran 10 sets of 4 minutes with the last 2 sets I pushed to 5 and then 7 minutes.  I ran nearly 4 miles!  Yesterday (Monday), I ran on the treadmill and did 8 sets of running for 5 and 6 minutes.  I am getting close to being able to run longer periods without having to stop and walk.  It's kicking my tushie but it feels fabulous to be able to increase that time.  BOOYA!

Also, I am now the Young Women Camp Director for our church group!  I get to head up girls camp this year!  So excited - it’s going to be so fun to be there with my girls again!  My plate is getting fuller all the time but it’s all good and I love it!!
LIFE IS GOOD!
How are YOU celebrating YOUR life?

8 comments:

gracies tough journey said...

Great post. I wish I had just some of your insight. It is so hard to overcome some of the things you mentioned.

Your running is amazing. I am glad your shoes work for you.

I will be reading this post again and again. Thanks for the inspiration. Always Gracie

E. Jane said...

Wow, Margene! You're on the move in a very good way! Congrats on running and for the wise choice in running shoes.

Also, thanks for your honesty in addressing the sensitivities that most of us have to deal with in our interactions with others. I also feel hurts and slights rather deeply, but I do try to put them aside and forgive. If they simmer inside, it's not good for me in any way. Part of dealing with it is acknowledging that I am sensitive, and understanding that I will have these feelings from time to time. Loved this post!

Rettakat said...

Such a wonderful and deep post. Falling, getting up and moving forward, forgiving ourselves.
The part that grabbed me most was:
"Perhaps what seems small to us, are viewed as HUMONGOUS strides to the angels who watch us!"

Sometimes we focus on our goof ups, and miss some real progress!

And gotta tell you, I am so loving that little book, The 4:8 Principle. I am on my second time through listening to it, hearing new things this time. I plan to read the book next, and mark it up and absorb it. Such a blessing!

Julie said...

I don't know where to start Margene. I am so proud of you for living for your mama. I am so proud of you for running.
It is very hard to love ourselves, especially since we didn't for so many years.
I am having issues with a few things, some I can share and others just to private but I know that life isn't easy and takes a lot of effort but it sure is worth it and so is the family.
Take care Margene and have a blessed evening.

Sharon said...

There's always something in your writing that jumps out and grabs me. This one had two things. I am 56 now and oh my, I'm not ready to leave this world just yet via heart disease or any other way. I will do whatever I can to take care of myself. And the video was awesome. My post earlier this week was about "falling" so how fitting this was for me.

Virtual Paul said...

I just wanted to say I just found your blog and am enjoying it. I followed. Thanks for the motivation.

Kristin O said...

Good for you on the running and basketball--I've been watching my kids this season and I want to play too! I don't want to scare anyone, so I'll probably wait til I'm down a few more pounds...

I totally understand on the friend thing. We move every 3 or so years from post to post, and sometimes you strike it rich and sometimes you strike out. This post hasn't yielded too many close friends, despite many attempts. My first post I had lots of confidants. I really miss having a close girlfriend to share with. We have to keep trying!! Take care!

Julie said...

Just stopped by to see what's new. How's the running going? How did the new shoe work out? Any new recipes to share. Is it spring yet? I'm wishing it would be but winter hasn't been bad, just time for some warmth.
Take care Margene and have a blessed day!