I am not one who likes to struggle or suffer or be full of heartache! I don’t like feeling like a mis-fit or friendless or lonely or ugly or fat or unwanted! I absolutely detest feeling like a 3rd wheel or forgotten or unappreciated or insignificant! I hate feeling like I have no value and that my life is of little worth to anyone!
Who does?
(okay, that might be a question for a psychiatrist).
Yet I have felt (and often still feel) many of those things...
Life is so ironic, though! I see that because of my struggles - my triumphs have HUGE meaning to me. The times I overcome and conquer those feelings have been the SWEETEST of victories - even tho they may be seemingly small.
Perhaps what seems small to us, are viewed as HUMONGOUS strides to the angels who watch us! Perhaps the obstacles in this life - swimming upstream so to speak - make any upward movement, no matter how small, a triumph worth celebrating! I am convinced this is true.
I overcame some things this week. I overcame extreme guilt and self-anger at indulging in two servings of a high-sugar dessert I hadn’t planned. I overcame self-pity at having no running buddy. I overcame some lonely feelings and sadness that no friend called me when I really wanted it. I overcame the hurts I felt from some family members. I overcame some self-doubts I was having...
I can forgive myself.
I can forgive others.
I can keep moving forward.
I can SMILE everyday at the Goodness that is in my life!!
I have my life back! I have my health back. I can run. I can ride my bike. My relationship with my kids is so much better. I have the most amazing supportive husband ever! I have a stronger relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ. I know He suffered for me and I am of great worth to Him! I have wonderful friends in my life.
My life is a Miracle!
I have what my mother didn’t have... a SECOND CHANCE!
(She died at 56 from heart disease)
I will take it
and live in HER honor
and live in HER honor
and become that daughter that is worthy to bear her name!
I have to post this video... that reminds me how much greater the prize is - because of what we go through to get it! NEVER GIVE UP!
Updates:
I am Loving playing basketball again - even tho I’m the oldest one there by like 10 years (didn’t even realize that till I thought about it). It’s okay... I’m living my life and excited I can play!
Got some running shoes! (I took back my Costco ones) I went to a running store and got “fit” for these and I’m so glad I did. I learned some tips on running and how to avoid knee damage. So far this time in training, my knees have not been hurting at all! So happy about that. I still wear knee supports every time I run or play bb because I don’t want to damage them.
I have been ROCKING IT with my running. Went last Friday and ran 10 sets of 4 minutes with the last 2 sets I pushed to 5 and then 7 minutes. I ran nearly 4 miles! Yesterday (Monday), I ran on the treadmill and did 8 sets of running for 5 and 6 minutes. I am getting close to being able to run longer periods without having to stop and walk. It's kicking my tushie but it feels fabulous to be able to increase that time. BOOYA!
Also, I am now the Young Women Camp Director for our church group! I get to head up girls camp this year! So excited - it’s going to be so fun to be there with my girls again! My plate is getting fuller all the time but it’s all good and I love it!!
LIFE IS GOOD!
How are YOU celebrating YOUR life?
