Yesterday was a pretty low day. Amid everything going on, I learned something that was so very hurtful - another situation where I feel personally betrayed. As I was inquiring about this situation on the phone with a church friend, I really lost control and could not stop sobbing and I lost my ability to speak. I had to hang up - I was so embarrassed for that display. Even after I got off the phone, I couldn't stop - and tried to shower and move on as I had a lot to do. It really was too much for me right now and I am fighting the urge to socially retreat. I had to immediately leave because I had a few sisters in my church to visit and on one of those visits, my friend had a gift for me. She and another sister had actually gone shopping and purchased me a dress! It was a short dress (not the kind or style I would ever buy) and they bought some tights or leggings to go with it. It is size 14. When my man saw it, he said "Oh baby!" It fits too! How sweet was that?! I was very touched that they thought of me and did that. Now I just need to decide when to wear it.... ;)
Then last night as I shared with my husband the earlier hurtful news I had experienced. We decided that we needed to all just get out and do something other sit home working on moving tasks. We needed to celebrate and so we took all the kids and went out to eat. It wasn't the wisest thing to do financially, but emotionally it did wonders. Our kids cheered up and off we went. We sang songs in the van together. My daughter loves to do this with me... I've even made little song books I hand out when in the car and we choose a song and go to that page. Among some favorites we sang: Battle hymn of the republic, Skip to my Lou, She'll be coming round the mountain, True to the Faith, Grand ol' Flag, and many others. It was so fun.
My husband told me as we reached the restaurant (which was a buffet - kids choice) that he was going to go off plan a little. I stayed ON PLAN, though... I am TOO close to hitting that 100 pound off mark.
So here are our plates:
Mine is on the left. I had steak with a little taste of fish, salad w/ low cal dressing, and some cabbage. All of this was on plan! On the right, my man had salad, pizza, melon, raisins,carrots, and meatloaf (all off plan except the salad). And what I'm not showing is the 2nd and 3rd plates my man enjoyed... all smaller portions, but things off plan. He even had a little of the dessert. So I was the only one in the family who didn't have dessert and who stayed on plan. I DID have dessert later at home with my Medifast soft serve ice cream which was yummy. I think it was good practice for when we're maintaining. We can have more items but I hope to learn moderation and smaller portions! I am not ready myself to go down that road and even tempt myself. I felt satisfied and enjoyed what I got. Going off plan wasn't that satisfying for my husband and he is anxious to get right back on plan from now on.
Tomorrow is weigh in and I hope it says 180 or less. There is so much work ahead of us, I am trying not to think of it all. It seems that's all we've been doing for 2 months now. But we are blessed to find a home with lower rent, and I know we are being watched over. LIFE IS GOOD!