More Comparison Pics - The Good, The Bad, The HORRIFIC

MY MAN:

This on the left was taken in July of 2009 (300 lbs) - just over a year ago. Although he is smiling, he is miserable and in constant pain. My young son won't even look at this pic of his dad because it really bothers him. It was a time of survival, not living.

The pic on the right was taken last week and reminds me of how he looked when we got married over two decades ago. You can see more of the real him in his eyes... he is a very compassionate man!

June 2007 is when the pic on the left was taken. Always looking for a place to sit down then!

On the right was taken today after church. I LOVE the way he looks in his suit. I keep starring at how good he looks and how much younger and how I want to... I could say more, but this is a family blog!!

MYSELF:

The left pic here was taken on my birthday in 2006. I allowed my picture to be taken as a record for my children, you know, in case I died... since I would probably die young (I was keeping it real for myself) they needed something to remember me by. I hated my picture taken and cringed looking at any picture of myself. I saw no beauty and only absolute disgust and could only imagine that is what everyone else saw. I also butchered my eyebrows pretty much daily and always had red marks on them. It is SO hard for us women to see the beauty in ourselves, isn't it? We are way too hard on ourselves!

The pic on the right was taken this month after my daughter put my hair into a side pony tail. I don't always realize myself how my face has changed because I am the one behind it! And sometimes I don't even recognize it. But I do like it much better and I am still learning to find the beauty within.

The left hand picture is me exactly 9 years ago at a family members wedding. I would have the video camera because really, what else is there for me to do? I was the "fat aunt" who needed something to do to feel useful and taking pictures or video kept me from being in them! I do love videoing, though, but I missed the socializing a lot because I didn't feel like anyone would want to socialize with the fat lady (silly, but I did believe that). That was a size 28 dress that I have worn up until a few months ago!

And the pic on the right is me just yesterday. This is the dress that my friend gave me... the size 14 dress mentioned in a previous post. I am SO happy to have something else to wear other than my one skirt to church and I love it. My kids were oohhing and aahhing when they saw me in it. My young son called me "sexy" which is a word I don't like him to be using (yes, I am old school), but it was sweet none the less.

Yes, it is very embarrassing to post these pics of ourselves. We are not proud of how we let ourselves go and ate ourselves into obesity. When you are heavy, there is a lot of shame involved, which causes you to turn to food for comfort and it becomes a vicious cycle. Change can happen, but it is a process and a continual journey. For us, it's been a change that has involved not only what we eat or how active we are, but how we view and handle our trials and our perspective - and letting go of the past. I never thought at the beginning of 2010 that we'd be moving or selling so much of our stuff. It's like this change has brought on a bigger "purging" than I thought it would. We both sometimes "freak out" but overall, I think we're moving forward steady and full of faith for a positive future.

LIFE IS GOOD, and WORTH CHERISHING EVERY MOMENT!