I am so baddddd!!!

I am SO naughty!!  
I am SO evil!!

I just made a batch of sugar cookies and ate a ton of them just now!  With milk too!  We are getting ready to celebrate my daughters birthday and I was telling myself that I was making them for the party.  I am SO BAD!!!  I already ate cake at the reception dance I did the other day.  One and a half pieces of cake.  Rich cake.  Wedding cake.

I am going jogging tomorrow....

So EVIL!!!

I will try NOT to eat the pie and ice cream they have later for the party.
EVIL!!  
BAD!!

Okay, gotta go now.... party is at the park and I am driving...

Butterflies...

I’m home back in Oregon now and life is fun and crazy.  It’s like the inside of the cyclone sort of.  Tonight I have a DJ event I am doing by myself.  Loading, driving, unloading, setting up, MCing, running music, taking down, etc .... all without Brent.  For some reason, I am extremely nervous as I want this event to go well and not have any probs w/ the equipment or vehicle or finding the place.  Knowing that it’s just me is a lot of pressure.  But I’ve done this for years - albeit, usually with somone.

There is also no food in the house - except for a couple bunches of VERY ripe banana’s that were left while I was gone.  So.... I made banana bread.  Yum.  Oh banana... how I have missed thee!  Your yummy sweetness, your enjoyable smell... oh banana how I love thee warm and moist... Banana bread makes everything right, doesn’t it?  Except I shouldn’t eat too much of it.

The scale shows me at 138 today.  I was so pleased to be under 140 after my trip to Utah.  Traveling can throw you off and it’s hard to get all my water in.  I meant to go running this morning but didn’t get to it... if I don’t have someone to go with I easily just end up not going.  But I did ride my bike to the bank so there’s a few miles.  It is beautiful outside and I am so thankful to be with my girls again and I know there are bright things in the future.  So I am plowing through today and hope I survive!

I also am signed up for another 5k in a couple weeks.  I walked this exact 5k last year after I’d lost some of my weight.  How awesome to come back this year and run it!  I am so thankful that I’ve gotten to this point in my life where I can finally do this.  It is so liberating to feel capable and I know where my strength comes from and will never forget that!

I’ve been trying not to have soda but today I'm going to drink some diet Dr. Pepper and hope these butterflies take a break.

Take care, my friends!  XoxoxOX ~Margene

I'm still here....

In Utah with my man and boys.  Okay, yesterday I did indulge more that I should.  Brent and I actually went out on a date and went to my new favorite place to eat:  Zupas!!  Okay, we need one of these in Oregon.  They have incredible salads and sandwiches.

Here is a pic of their salad menu.  I had the Red Raspberry Spinach and it was SO good.

Today I want to go and try the MangoBerry salad.  Then we perused University Mall.  Okay, this is the mall we cruised through as teens but it has really changed in 26 years.  Doesn't seem quite as "cool"... BUT...

I did finally have my frozen yogurt!!  Let's see, it's been about 2 years and it was pretty yummy.  After that we went and saw "Super 8" and we had buttered popcorn.  THIS is where I should have not given in.  I wasn't hungry, I just wanted to munch.  So I did eat way too many calories.  But, lesson learned.  I told Brent I don't want to have movie popcorn again for a LONG time.  I don't need it.  I went through my whole weight loss  months without it and was fine!  But it was fun for one night.

And this morning.... we went running.  And guess what?  I ran 3 miles without stopping!  ... in 36 minutes!!!  I totally wasted my man!!!  It felt so great.  Here I am in Brent's "shed" after the run.

Something about jogging just brings my emotions out.  As I was finishing the last 1/2 mile, I thought about the book I've read called "Running with Angels" about an obese woman who lost her weight walking and running.  I thought about my angel parents and imagined them running with me.  Finally... I feel that they would be pleased with me!  You know, I bear their names.  Marjorie and Eugene - they put their own names together to come up with Margene.  I used to not like my name.  Finally, I can represent their names and honor their legacy of love, service and devotion to the Lord.  I finally don't see myself as their obese loser daughter!  I can't even express how amazing and liberating that feels for me.  Brings tears to my eyes.

Today, we're off to see some of our homes.  One of these homes will most likely be our own home in just about a month.  And we're so excited to finally get pets.  Here is my little guy with "Ellie"... my brothers dog.

This kid needs his own dog, I tell ya.  It is SO fun to see him playing with Ellie.

I hope you, my friends, have a wonderful day and make good choices and enjoy your life because it is good!!
 XOxoxo ~Margene

What do you do...

When your girls head off to girls camp and your son and man are in Utah and it's just you and your little guy?

You fly to Utah and surprise your man!!  (and your other son)

Thanks to my wonderful niece for her non-rev tickets, I am sitting in Utah right now.  We flew in and surprised him at his work.  It was SO worth it.

Tonight, we went for a bike ride.  I used my son's bike which has a way smaller seat (how fun!... sort of)... but we went by the old street I lived on and the house I grew up in that my dad built!  I saw some old neighbors and I stopped by and visited.  The old Margene would NEVER want to see people who knew me... they'd just gawk at how fat I had gotten, or so I thought.  But tonight, it was so FABULOUS to talk to old friends, especially ones who knew and loved my folks.  I love it!!  I will talk to anyone now.  It's funny because no one recognizes me!!

THIS is my mountain!  Yup.  If you go to Utah Valley (just south of Salt Lake City) and see this here Mount Timpanogos, I want you to point and say "Hey, that thar is Margene's Mountain!"  This is the mountain I grew up looking at and loving.  I even climbed it during girls camp one year.  And it has the coolest story about an Indian maiden who died after her lover was killed, and you can see her outline profile on the top of mountain.  Her feet are on the left and her head is 3/4 the way on the right.

While in Utah, I plan to have some low fat frozen yogurt.  I haven't had it in like 2 years.  So far, I've kept my eating in check and have not given in to any over indulgences.

AND - earlier this week I ran another 5k.  It is so weird to think I can do that now.  And I've been bike riding almost every day.  I absolutely LOVE being active!!!  I'm getting to where I can't stand just sitting and watching TV.  Life is good!!! xoxoxo ~Margene

It’s a bad thing when....

You do not have the ingredients for a fresh salad or a nice lean and green on hand...

BUT

You do have all the ingredients for sugar cookies at your fingertips!

Before I go on, let me just say that I kept really active this week.  I went running one day probably at least 2-3 miles, biking at least 3 days, basket ball two days, and general running around a lot (that counts right?).  Here are a couple pics from one of my bike rides... so gorgeous!

So what I’ve noticed with my weight and my eating is that... I fluctuate.  I’ve stayed within 10 pounds my goal weight or even under which is good.  Still finding that balance and NEEDING to set myself limits.  

And not to sound like I’m full of excuses, BUT my husband and oldest son are in Utah now and I do have a LOT of stress, loneliness, pressure, responsibility, worry, and frustration placed on me right now.  We are moving mid July and the two oldest men in the family won’t be here to help pack or anything...until the day we move literally.  And we don’t even have a house or place whatsoever to move into yet!  And I know Brent has more stress on him right now - he is struggling more than I am, poor guy.  Yes, there’s my sob story.  We all have one, don’t we!

AND STILL...  I know we are not forgotten.  I am enjoying a life of freedom like I haven’t in over 25 years.  I am mesmerized by the Oregon beauty, and cherishing every moment with my friends here.  My kids aren’t being TOO difficult and I have been enjoying my time with them.  I am gaining a huge appreciation for single parents!  I do have hope and faith that one of our offers will come through soon.  I do have hope and faith that somehow our finances will stretch and we will somehow make this move and we will be together again as a family and have a fresh start in a new place.

SO UNTIL then, I made cookies and downed them today.  Naughty me!!  But, I’ve also made a lot of good choices this week.  Key thing is, I need better ingredients in my house so I have better food choices.  Weekends are hard for me without Brent here.  Everyone else is with their families and husbands.  But I know I can do hard things!  You can do hard things!  God did not create wimps, ya know?  My life is forever changed for the better because I have dropped my weight and I am dropping the negative that I’ve fed for too long.  I really am so blessed!

So... I’m going to Keep Moving Forward.  Who’s with me?

Life is GOOD!!  xoxoXO ~Margene

"Keep Portland Weird!"

That was a line I heard yesterday as I ran my FIRST 5k race EVER in the Portland’s Starlight Run.  And I think we kept Portland weird.  There were tons of people in costumes including eyeball man and the muppets “Animal”, along with the runaway brides and the chasing grooms.  

But during the race, I didn’t have time to truly enjoy all the scenery because I really was kicking my tushie!  I felt like slowing to a walk before I was even half way through.  There was a good upward slant the last half of the race, and being kind of warm and at night made it a different running scenario.  It was playing on my mind games just a tad as I was anticipating it to be “easier”...  ummm... No.

BUT... I RAN the WHOLE 5K!  

Woo Hoo!  Did it in about 42 minutes.  

Felt AWESOME!

Another super cool thing was my family being there, especially my man, Brent.  All wearing our “Believing it’s possible is half the battle” T-shirts.  I love that pic above left of Brent and my daughter waiting to see me come running!  And on the right you can see me in the cap, my son and my friend waving during the run.

And my friends who came to run it with me - Including JOY!  Could it get any better than that?  Even my son, who had just gradated high school a few hours earlier decided last minute to run with me too.  And he stayed right with me too, what a guy!  Here is a pic of our group on the left and Joy and I on the right.

It’s been an amazing weekend!  Brent came home - literally by a miracle - late Thursday night (almost didn't get his ticket in time).  Friday, my newest “boy scout” son headed off to his first campout, while the rest of us went out to dinner to celebrate our son’s graduation the next day.  Saturday, we attended said graduation.  I could do a whole long post on this graduation and what it means to us and to me... but I will save that story.  Needless to say, I felt a lot of new “mom” emotions I wasn’t expecting to feel.  It’s all good.  Right after that, it was home to change and then run to pick up my little Boogie Man and off to the Starlight Run.

Brent tells me that every time he comes home (from Utah), we got so much stuff going he’s kept so busy... and it’s not house chores either.  During this time home, we went to an open house, for a bike ride, a walk together, celebration dinner, movie, High School Graduation, 5k event, parade, and church - all in 2 and a half days.  Awesome stuff!  Sure beats laying around the house groaning and being depressed and eating crappy stuff.  Those were our old days, ya know!   The weather was PERFECT while he was here... sunny and gorgeous.  Today, after I dropped him off at the airport, while driving home I saw raindrops on the windshield.  It’s like the Lord gave me the sun along with the hubs for those 3 days.  That was the best gift!  Life is good!  My life is good... I can see that now each and every day!  XoxoXO ~Margene

TWO DAYS!!!

Until my first official 5K race!
I played some bball last night and hurt my ankle.  At least when I went to bed, it started to throb quite painfully.  So I am trying to take it easy (no bball tonight) so's I can run on Saturday because I am so STOKED.

I went jogging with a friend the other day and we ran a 5k at about 44 minutes.  (stopping to walk only briefly).  So I know I can do it.  It's amazing to come from just 1 minute of running to 23 minutes in one shot.  I still feel extremely nervous for some reason.

I got me some T-shirts too... I am liken these!!  It's all about what you BELIEVE, this is true.  Believe the best or believe the worst and you give power to that thought.  So why let all those negative thoughts waste our energy anymore?

Brent comes home in just a few hours.  He almost didn't make the flight due to his ticket arriving in the mail just hours before he's to leave.  Thanks again to prayer!  I am SOOOO wickedly excited to see him for this weekend.  He's on a plane right now!

My latest favorite food is this Ramen Salad.  Oh my.... SOOO good!  With cabbage, broken up ramen noodles, craisens, and a dressing made from olive oil, rice vinegar, and the ramen seasoning packet.  This is the basic recipe I like to use.  I also like to put some cut up rotisserie chicken in it too.  I really have to portion eat this salad because it is so addictivly good!  It's all about Moderation and Portion Control for me right now and ever!

It's gonna be an amazing weekend!  

I'd like to thank you for all the love and encouragement you give me on this blog:
Michele, Kimberlynn, Joy, Julie, Loretta, Josie, Lucy, Sarah, Lisa, Gracie, Deb, Natalia, Kristin, MaryFran, Lynn, LauraAnn, Angela, Jennifer, Suzi, Christine, Karla, Sam, Lori, Debbie, Melissa, Casey, Tori, Sharon... and everyone who reads and cheers me on (if your name isn't listed, consider yourself included)!!  I wish I could share my love, gratitude, and encouragement with each of you.

And Tammy and Carda... my dearest "real world" friends - I love you!!  Thanks for supporting me with so much positive and believing in me and taking time for me... it means more than you know!

Dianne, Carolyn, Emily, LaTrease, Julie, and Joanne - I feel so blessed to call you friends.

And my most awesome sister, Kay... how I love you sis!!  You are the best.

And my man, Brent, you've see me like no one else does and you've been there for me since I was 15.  You always looked beyond and saw the good in me even when I haven't seen it myself!!  There is no one truer than you!  Can't wait to really be together again in our own home!

Wow... I don't know where all this sappiness came from but I am feeling so thankful and humbled tonight.  Okay, gotta wipe these tears - but it's all good!  Life is good.  Wherever you are in your journey, thank the Lord for your life and make it the best you can because you are worth it, my friends!  XoxooxxOX ~Margene