Our Quest to change our lives began in Feb. 2010 and we lost 224 lbs. This is the story of our continuing Journey through the ups and downs of maintenance.
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Monday, April 23, 2012

Hard Lessons - Sweet Rewards

Hello friends!
I have been avoiding posting recently as I have been wanting to get myself in a better place emotionally.  I’m not doing terribly bad or anything but I have been struggling over the train wreck situation I mentioned in my previous post and I really don’t want all my posts to detail my heartache over this.  The level of rejection and efforts she's gone through to eradicate me from her life is astounding.  Needless to say, it’s been one of my most painful experiences.  I will be mourning this loss of my friend for some time. BUT, I am moving on and there are many wonderful things in my path. 
My husband is also finally ready to begin again so he can FINISH his weight loss journey.  Stress and anxiety has been his biggest hurdle and he’s at a place now where he feels he can focus on getting the rest of his weight off.  So I am right there with him and we’re going to DO THIS!!
I have also been totally LOVING the indoor rock climbing!  Wow, it’s SOOO fun!  Brent came the other day and watched me and my daughter climb.  It was fun to have him watch me and of course, I wanted to climb the harder walls to show him what I could do. 
 The first wall I climbed to show Brent - I am on the left side
On to more walls...
 These walls are 35 feet tall.
left pic - I am at the top!! 
right pic - I love the challenge tackling an angle
 Reaching the top every time is awesome!
My hands get all red and blistered after 2 hours of climbing! 

I wanted to amaze him and think I did.  I did actually fall for the first time (but my daughter was belaying me so I didn’t really fall down) but I was on a wall that was at a VERY STEEP angle and I jumped for a new hand hold and missed it and went swinging off the wall.  My heart almost leaped out of my chest as I haven’t done that before.  It was a thrilling scare though. When you do jump for that hand hold and actually get it, it’s such an adrenaline rush to actually DO IT!  At least for me.
And - even tho I am very bummed NOT to go to Oregon and run my first 1/2 marathon.... I have taken the advice to find one here and still run one.  

SOOOO, I signed up for a half marathon here in UTAH!!

I won’t be stopped from my goals!  And my running buddy is gonna run it with me.  It'll be in July.  Very cool.  PLUS - Brent wants us to do a 5K together this summer so he has something to train for.  That is cool.  I haven’t run with my hubs at all yet!  Can’t wait for that.  I also hope to do some biking this summer.
THIS saturday, my daughter and I are running a COLOR RUN 5k called Color Me Rad.  We will get blasted with colors at certain points during the run.  It will be so fun and memorable.  
So, even with a painful heartbreak, I can move on, I can seek those who do value me and my friendship, and I can forgive and let things go.  For me, I’m wanting to balance my FAITH in the future and what God can do, with ACCEPTANCE for how things are now.  And with that faith, I have to realize that everyone has their free agency to make their own choices.  And I have my free agency to CHOOSE to see the BEST in myself and others.
Hard, Hard, Hard lessons!!  
But Sweet, Sweet, Sweet rewards.  

XooXoxo ~Margene


Sharon said...

Moving on past a heartbreaking experience is all we can do because in this life, we'll NEVER understand the actions of some people. It looks as if you are doing just that and I'm proud of you. Please don't ever hesitate to write about what's on your heart. That's what we are here for!!

E. Jane said...

Getting past what you recently experienced is very difficult and take a while. You may never fully understand, but you have a wonderful life to be lived. I'm so glad you're moving on.

I loved the photos and am amazed at your ability to climb! You go girl!

Anonymous said...

I'm running (more like walking) the Color me rad too!! Can't wait! Maybe I'll see you there!


Rettakat said...

I'm glad you are choosing to forgive and move on, and heal from this heartbreaking disappointment. I agree... sometimes we just don't really know the whole story, and never will.

I was thinking of Proverbs 18:19, where it talks about when someone gets offended, they are more unyielding than a fortified city! I'm sorry you lost this friend. True friends are not to be taken lightly, and I can see from what you've written here and in the last post, that you treasured that friendship.

I know will continue to live an amazing life. I mean... when I think of where you started, and now you are climbing huge rock walls!!! Just... wow!

Joy said...

Friend, I am so sorry you are going through this! I know how much your value your friendships and I know you are hurting!!! So proud of you for pushing through! You are a strong person!

Love your pictures!! You amaze me!!

So glad Brent is working on his journey! You will have a blast training for the 5k together!

Keep up the great work my Friend. Stay focused no matter what!

Love and hugs!

gracies tough journey said...

I am so sorry someone did this to you. I would give anything to live close to you and give you a hug. I cherish our friendship albeit only via blogging. You have helped me with your kind words on so many occasions. It means the world to me and I pray some day we will meet. You are an amazing person and the sweetest heart and you deserve better than that. God bless and many hugs. Gracie

Julie said...

Moving forward is all your can do Margene. You are doing just that. I am sorry she hurt you so and I hope that some day, some time you can find out what was what but until that time keep hanging in there.
That climbing wall looks awesome. I just might have to find out what the one in St. Cloud is all about.
YEAH for hubs getting back at it and for wanting to train and run his first 5K. That will be terrific. And you finding a 1/2 marathon,yeah!!! You go girl.
Take care and have a blessed eveing. Thank you so much for your birthday wishes.

Sandrelle said...

Margene, I just caught up on your last post--I am so sorry to hear about your friend deciding to end things the way she did. You certainly did not deserve that and I know it hurts so much. I had a similar experience that was so painful. We were the sisters we never had and all the sudden gone. It's like a divorce. I still don't know why she sabotaged our friendship and it took me over a year to deal with it.

It is ok to cry. Hugs and prayers coming your way. You are one amazing woman!