Well, I have tried to be strict this week. I struggled w/ cravings this week and I'm pretty sure they were emotionally driven. I did stay on plan, though, that is mostly. Yesterday I had a fabulous lunch date with a friend and when they brought out my chicken salad, the chicken wasn't just grilled but was in a sauce. I know it was carb filled and higher calories than I needed but I ate every last bite! So, knowing this, I made myself go to the gym last night and did a little work out before weigh in this morning.
I lost 1 pound!! I'll take that. Only FOUR pounds until goal!! I am in the 130's now... and I have NO MEMORY of ever being int the 130's before. It's very cool and unbelievable. And my hot lover has reported a loss as well... now it may be because it's a Utah scale but we will take it. He lost 5 pounds!!! Woo Hoo. He's been working out almost every day!
It's been fun to Skype every evening. Doesn't feel like he's that far away when we do. I love seeing his smile! I'm sure no one wants to read the depth of how much I love and miss my man but I'll just say it's quite a bit!
I was thinking yesterday about how Brent is gone and my thought process started to go down that “feel sorry for myself” mode when I stopped for a second and thought “I don’t have to think like this! Why do I need to focus on this when there is so much good to focus on?” I can change my emotions by changing my thought process! So I started repeating to myself all the good things and huge blessings I have. And you know what? It was A LOT!! I have absolutely NO REASON to complain but every reason to REJOICE! The biggest reason being having lost the weight I have and transforming my life around. Which is something I never dreamed would happen. So when a dream comes true, we celebrate it. We thank God for it. We never forget it. We don’t just find something new to feel bad about!! Unless that is, we are so used to feeling bad that we just want to. It’s like we get used to nursing “old wounds” even after they are mostly healed... we fuss over them so they don’t quite heal... because what would we do if we couldn’t fuss over them?
I am wanting to keep my life REAL. If I have a problem or weakness... I don’t want to ignore it or pretend it’s not there. I want to realize it, attack it, and eradicate it!! It is and has been my greatest desire to be a happy, positive, energetic person! I want to be one of those kinds of women and moms who you feel edified and energized to be around. I love being around people like that. I won’t get there until I can consistently change my thought process and I know I can do that with my Saviors help. He has blessed me so much and shown His power in my life already.
If you are reading this and struggling in your life... Hold on with all your might! Do not give up! Know that you are loved EVEN when you don't feel it! You are! And you are watched over and tenderly cared for more than you realize. Smile and count your blessings - it helps you feel better!!! Life is SO GOOD!! XOXO ~Margene