Our Quest to change our lives began in Feb. 2010 and we lost 224 lbs. This is the story of our continuing Journey through the ups and downs of maintenance.
(For the fullest effect, begin at the beginning in Feb. 2010 using our Blog Archive on sidebar)

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

And for the weekend...

It's going to be an eventful, fun, exciting, and a little heartbreaking weekend!

First of all, there is a "Beach Retreat" this weekend with the ladies from my church.  I am really looking forward to it.  The second night of the retreat, Brent will be bringing the family and we will stay as a family that night.  Then on Sunday, we'll head to church and then straight to the airport where Brent will be flying to Utah to start his job on Monday.  Am I the only one who thinks that is crazy?  I choose not to face Brent leaving yet and I am concentrating on the Beach Retreat.

You see, there is going to be LOTS of junk food there.  Here is the picture from the last retreat in 2009:

I am 5 pounds from goal right now.  What would you do if you faced a table of food like that - AND you hadn't eaten anything like that for over a year?  Would you feel entitled?  Would you feel that you earned a little break?  Would you feel like you could help yourself to celebrate your 140 lbs of weight loss?

Honestly, I have NOT allowed myself to think that while I've been in "weight loss" mode because I am all or nothing here.  So I have got to BE STRONG and NOT GIVE IN to that food.  I will probably be the ONLY ONE out of over 30 women, who will be trying to NOT eat junky, fattening, and sugary snacks.  I've done this before, but it does get tiring to be the ONLY ONE, ya know!  I want a bestie!!! I want a friend who will stand by me and relate to me!!  I feel so alone sometimes!!  (okay, now back to my post...)

BUT - It certainly has paid off and it WILL pay off when I reach goal and enter the Medifast "Happy Afters" contest.  I cannot tell you how badly I really want to win (there will be 10 winners).  It would be the coolest thing ever!!  I am trying not to get too excited or think about it because it will make my disappointment so huge if I don't win.  That's a set back for being as intense and "all or nothing" as I am... huge highs and huge lows!

So my plan at the beach is to have my medifast food and lean and green food available and then LOTS of my sugar free knox blox!  I made several batches.  I've got:

1. Strawberry / Banana / Coconut knox blox
2. Raspberry knox blox
3. Orange / Mango / Coconut knox blox
4. Cherry / Licorice knox blox

I will bring them and share and focus on games and NOT food.  Weigh in is Saturday... maybe I should bring my scale? Oh, and guess what?  There is a HOT TUB there.  I am so excited to sit in it because I've been so cold and dreaming of that.  So of course, I had to go get a new swim suit.  The last new suite I got was back in October - size 16.  Guess what size I fit into now?  Size 8-10!!  Oh my gosh...is that crazy or what?

Seriously... if I had money right now, I could totally become a major shop-a-holic... because now I actually CAN shop in the normal stores. I still freak out and feel like I'm in a dream state. Surely everyone around me will get tired of me and how this is all so new to me.  Life is just so dramatically different and it's so good!!  I want everyone who is suffering w/ weight health-issues and pains - and especially morbid obesity like I have to feel this much better!!  Life can be so much better and it's so good!   XOXOxo ~Margene


Sarah said...

Try to resist that food!! It's hard for me too. I have the same thoughts when I go to "carry in" type situations. I think I should be able to reward myself for my weight loss with food that I know I shouldn't eat!
Anyway, have fun with your weekend! I'm sure the food situation will work itself out!


Anonymous said...

I'm new to your blog - your story is incredible!!

When you think about it, that food is disgusting! It has no nutritional value, and while it might taste good while your eating it, it is so not worth it. If you haven't eaten junk food in a while, it would probably make you really sick and sabotage your hard work. It will make you sluggish and start cravings you don't want. Nothing taste as good as being "not overweight" feels!

Congratulations on all your success! Whether you win the contest on not (how can you not?) you a big winner!!!

Anonymous said...

Man. Could I ever do some damage to that bag of M&Ms. sigh.

Re: being alone. You know, a thought along that line crossed my mind the other day. Only in an oddly good way.

I'm not sure I can get this down in a few words--I tried to on another blog and kind of failed. :}

But... I've not been eating after 8PM for 4 whole days now. (Yeah. I know. sigh) And I had a thought.

We all have certain things settled in our lives (I touched on this in a past post.) You know certain life principles.

And it crossed my mind, why couldn't not eating at nite be one of those? At an event, why couldn't I just say, "Oh, thanks so much, but I don't eat after 8PM." Period.

Not because I'm on a diet. Just because that's my chosen way to live. I don't eat after 8PM. Just like I don't have sex outside of marriage.

Well, okay, those two may not be quite in the same ballpark, but you know what I mean. A settled decision.

My next thought was how odd taking a stand on that would be. How odd people would think I am to be that serious about it. And how lonely that kind of decision is. But, sometimes it's the lonely road that is the right one.

For what it's worth--you've got lost of companions in this, they just aren't there in person.


Prayers going up re: all of this weekend.

Lucy said...

You know Margene, I would bet my bottom dollar that you are NOT going to be the only one wanting (needing) to stay away from that kind of food. I bet there will be many women there who feel guilty bcs they feel they have no will power, are not determined enough, etc. You, my friend, you are going to shine like a beacon of light (as you walk pass those nacho chips, cookies, etc.).

You've earned the right to walk with your head held high. Walk knowing that you have what every woman suffering w/weight issues (in public & in secret) wants, ...success. Not only success on the scale but in LIFE!


Michele said...

The best way to get through all that food is exactly what you are d0ing: planning. I predict you will make it with flying colors!

Lots of changes in store for you. I will be sending good wishes that all works out as hubby takes off for Utah. Years ago, my hubby took a job in Seattle, when we were all in Calif. It was hard, but we made it.

Jennifer said...

Your posts are always so inspiring to me Margene. I thank you for that. You are sooo close to goal that there is no reason for you to stray from plan. You have come so far and are right at the finish line. Those foods are mrely a bump in the road that you will hurdle over. you are stong!!!!


Julie said...

You are such an inspiration that some one is going to notice you're not eating and then you can tell them your story and it'll be another life that you have saved, have taught, have become apart of.
I am so proud of you Margene. You are my hero. I sure wish I had your will power. I can exercise to beat the band but the food, still is so hard.
Take care and God Bless!!!

Joy said...

I know you will do well!! You've come too far to blow it on junk food. Can't wait to hear how you did!!

Keep focused!

Journey To Weight Loss said...

When i come across foods like that, i consider what they would do for me (which is just about nothing) they may make me feel good for the few moments the sweetness/saltiness is in my mouth, but i know the guilt and anger that follows. There is no nutritional value, and i try to remember that the cravings will pass, and i will survive without eating the 'treats'. I know it is hard, but just consider the moment you are in. Love your blog, new to it but im a follower now!