This is me and my siblings in 1969 (Believe it or not, we all look a lot different today!) I am the baby of the family.
On memorial day, I sent this blog address to my siblings for the first time (I have 6 siblings & their spouses). I am finally ready to share our journey with them.
Growing up I felt that I was viewed in a negative way, so I hid my true, sensitive self behind a huge wall - even with my siblings, because I couldn't risk being hurt and that was my defense mechanism. It's not that my siblings & their spouses are mean, they are actually outstanding people! It's just that I am so sensitive - more than they know - and I've worked so hard to overcome and not let negative things bring me down.
I appreciate SO MUCH the positive support I've received from my siblings so far. It is very healing for me. I would rather be viewed as the real me and not as a negative image of past events. This is another strength in helping me put the past behind me like I talked about in a previous post called "Sunday Musings".
Last night, my man went with our girls to an activity (I sent his L&G meal with him) so I was home with my boys and we all ate a Lean and Green meal: Teriyaki Chicken and veggies. SO good. I always feel so satisfied after my L&G meals.
My NEW TOTALLY FAVORITE TREAT (medifast meal) right now is: Peanut Butter balls.
I use 6 packets of my Medifast hot cocoa, mixed with 6 heaping T. of PB2 (powdered Peanut butter than is WAY low in calories and fat), and then 4 oz. sugar free Peanut Butter Syrup and 4 oz. water. I mix it all up and form them into 24 balls and freeze them. Then I put them in baggies - 4 balls a bag - each bag representing 1 medifast meal and I keep them in the fridge. I have at least one of these meals a day and I savor every little bite. They are SO good, especially being a fan of peanut butter and chocolate!
I am very motivated to NOT eat off plan and ruin my momentum. I have NEVER in my life lost weight like this and it is so exciting to see myself get thinner!!! I've never lost more than 20 pounds! Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I don't recognize that person! But it's me!
Where I do struggle is in feeling alone and longing for a good friend I can call and talk to. Someone who knows me and will laugh and cry with me (and vice versa). I wish I had a best friend (girlfriend) who valued me in return and enjoyed spending time with me (and not just vice versa) - that is the greatest longing of my heart and my biggest heartache. I am grateful that my man is my best friend and he has always been there for me. He may not 'get' all my emotions but he loves me. And he's getting skinnier with me... how cool is that?