I have been meaning to post an entry for a long time. I have had many things I have wanted to share; unfortunately I did not record my thoughts along the way. I will try to recall some of them at this time.
I remember being 300lbs and miserable. I was overweight, on antidepressant pills to help with my stress and anxiety and was not really living. I was going through the motions to get through each day. I was a mess. I was a poor of an excuse for a father and a very non supportive husband. I would wake up at 4:30-5:00 am every day and would not be able to go back to sleep. Rather than sit around and stress myself out, I would get ready and leave for work. I would sleep in my car until it was time to go in. I was not performing well at work and was worried about being let go. I did not think I could get another job or would have any other way to support my family. When work started my goal was to get to lunch. I would work hard until lunch and then go back to my car for a nap. This isolated me from the other coworkers. After lunch was crunch time. It is always very busy in the afternoon so it would go by quickly. My supervisor would often receive complaints from my clients. I was always behind in my work, sometimes months behind.
It was the highlight of my day to leave work and to come home. I could finally escape the stress of my life and the day. I would come home and eat and eat and eat. I sat in my big black leather recliner and either watch TV or play video games. I did this until around 10:30-11:00 pm and then would go straight to bed.
What a nightmare for my wife. She had to handle all of the evening duties with the children and with the house. This was a house hold with 5 children and one adult. This was my life, or lack of one. I was so concerned about me, me and me that my family was not receiving the attention and support it so desperately needed. Ok, that’s enough of the negative. I can't take it anymore. It's time to move forward. Part of this lifestyle change is forgetting the past. It's finally time to move forward!
When Margene told me about this weight management program I could not wait to start. There was something about it that I latched on to. I felt as if this program was a direct answer to so many prayers. I was ready to go, ready for a change. This program is only a tool and only a piece of the lifestyle change we were going to make. I had no idea at the time just how much my life would change. We needed to wait until we received our tax return to start. I asked my wife several times a week, "Can we start now?"
This was not going to be another diet. Another diet where my wife works tirelessly in the kitchen making tasteless and unsavory meals that we have to force ourselves to eat. No, this was going to be different. This was not going to be a diet. For me the word diet belongs within the same category as those other four letter words. This time I (We) were going to make a lifestyle change. The goal was not to just lose weight, but to change our lives. Change the way we think, the way we interact and react to each other.
The day finally came. We had the food and were ready to start. We weighed and measured every part of our bodies we could think of. I first noticed a change after about 3 to 4 days. I noticed that I was not getting as tired, that I had more energy. Shortly after that I started sleeping all night. My daily schedule completely changed. One Saturday I got up and… worked on things that needed to be done in our home. This was the most productive day I've had for as long as I can remember. I stopped snoring. My respiratory issues stopped. My aches and pains went away. My desire to escape into TV and Video games stopped. I sold my beautiful black leather recliner. My desires to get away from the pressures of the day are gone. I stopped taking my anti depressant pills. I started performing better at work. I started spending more time with my family. I started taking more responsibility for my family. I am a better husband to my wife and a better father to my children.
After about 2 months, I encountered a problem. I had lost so much weight that my clothes no longer fit. My pants were falling off, my shirts were baggy and even my shoes seemed too big. It was difficult shopping for clothes. I had no idea what size I should be looking for. To date my pant size has gone from a 50 to a 40. My shirt size has gone from 4x to Large. I can shop in normal stores. No more "big and large" clothes. There are so many options to choose from, I cannot make up my mind what I want. I started playing basketball. I am attempting to get with some people to start playing soccer. Something I have not done in over 25 years. I now have a bicycle. I cannot make up my mind on what sport to do. I want to do them all. I want to water ski, snow ski, go hiking, run track, run a marathon, Play basketball, football, baseball. I want to do them all.
I am so grateful for my wife. She is my life and my inspiration. She is my forever companion, my best friend and my lover. I have known her and been with her since the summer of 1984. I look forward to spending the rest of eternity with her. I Love you Margene.