I gave in!

I've been keeping busy and keeping myself occupied. 

But These last two days I hit a wall.  And I gave in. 

  

I didn't give in to any junk food or off-plan food, actually my appetite is not there much. 

  

I submitted to my heartache and sorrow from my recent train wreck.  It's been two days full of raw emotion.  God knows all the effort and changes in my life I've made to do and be a better person and how I have been putting the feelings of others ahead of my own.  He knows!!  

So why do I have to be blindsided (again) from someone so dear to me?  It was aimed purposely at my weakest spot.  I honestly cannot think of a single thing I have done that was mean, out of line, offensive, overdone, smothering, or wrong.  How can someone throw a true friend away?  Aren't friendships worth fixing?  I am treated like I am an enemy.   Like there is nothing good about me to warrant any kind of contact with me.

Yet, it's not even an option for me to be bitter against her because I don't want to go that route.  Maybe I miss a friend that was never really my friend.  I will need Divine help to find peace or healing from this.

As this situation has left me feeling so cold, unwanted and unloved - I've been grasping for the love that my Savior has for me.   I've thought of my parents on the other side of the veil, and how surely they are watching me and would comfort me if they could.  And my own loving husband who has always been there for me, I know he loves me.  I do have people who stand by me and haven't just walked away.  

I've been listening to a song called "Love Never Fails" by Mercy River.  This song seems to speak in music, what my heart feels.  I know that Love is what really matters. Love is what will come through in the end.  I want to fill my heart with love, not with sorrow.  I feel SO much love, joy, and happiness for each of family and friends - including my blogger friends.

Today, I made a video to this song "Love Never Fails" because I felt like the song could say what my heart cannot.  That I'm CHOOSING the path of love. I'd like to share that video in this post - I think it's worth watching.  I've dedicated it to my parents, my family, and all my friends!

I want to live with NO REGRETS. 

I want to live my life showing my love to others.  

I always regretting not showing my love to my mother and then she passed away.  And that didn't hurt her as much as it has hurt me.  With-holding our love from others really hurts US in the end.
  

So, NO REGRETS.   

Forgive those that hurt me.   

Forgive myself.
Move on.

Life is GOOD

~Margene