Week 43...

I lost 3 pounds last week.  NICE!!  My man has stayed the same weight.  Slightly Frustrating!!  But at least it's not a gain!  He will get losing again.  I know he will... and he's already lost so much and beside that, he's just so hot!

We went to a Christmas party last night where dinner was being catered.  There was rich soups, breads, veggies, thick brownies and creme brulee.  Did we falter?  Did we pig out? Not on your britches!  I called ahead and inquired about the menu and we decided to have our "lean" before going and then had our "green" aka salad there.  We brought our own "dessert" (knox blox) as well.  And it turned out fabulous.  I didn't even worry or think about the food because there was a plan in place.  And today I was rewarded with a 3 pound loss and a super hot man.  Good thing he's hot because I am always a Popsicle these days!  Brrrrrrr... never been this cold so much of the time before!.  It has me dreaming of sitting in a hot tub like all the time.

Today I got the name of my blogger buddy for the 12 Days of Christmas!!  She is the gal over at "The Fat Mom Blog".  I've been having fun reading her blog and sharing info. via email so we can get to know each other.  I even went shopping today and have some great ideas.  So fun!

BFF for an hour and 12 Days of Christmas Swap

I’ve joined a 12 days of Christmas Swap hosted here.

Check it out. You have until Friday night to join if you want to. I’m excited!

Today something fun happened. I went shopping, alone as usual, and found myself wandering into a nearby Fashion Bug store. I have shrunk out of my thrift store pants and I’m down to two pairs of pants that fit me (size 16). So I thought I’d just see if any pants were on sale. So I grabbed several size 14/16 pants to try on and an associate of the store offered to take my clothes into the changing room, and she added “you do not look like you wear size 14’s or 16’s”... I patted my belly and nodded a ‘yes I do’. So as I was trying on the pants, I found that the 16’s were quite roomy. The same associate came by and asked me how I was doing and she ended up running and grabbing me some size 14 and size 12 pants. She was so nice and helpful and interested in my weight loss, and oohed over my before and after pics that I keep in my purse. She got even more enthused and brought me all kinds of stuff to try on, camisoles & sweaters & pants, which was so awesome since I really have no fashion sense. She told me what tops would look good with leggings and what pants are best for my body shape. She was like my BFF for the hour I was in the store. I loved it! She made me feel so good and seemed to genuinely be excited for me in my journey. And guess what? I totally fit into size 12 now!!! Yes, they are tight, but they fit! I was smilin’ so big in that changing room - I even did a little Margene Happy Dance which I’m sure the angels watching got a giggle from! And I walked out with 2 new pairs of pants (yes, I paid for them first). She even ran to me as I left the store to share something else with me. To her I’m sure I was one of her many customers but to me, she made my day!

Also, another NSV happened yesterday was when I ran into my old HS Life Skills class I used to work with just a few months ago. As I was approaching one of the teachers I had worked closely with, she looked at me with confusion. She was like... “I know you somehow...” Then she recognized me and she went on to be astounded at my weight loss. She really made a big deal about how much thinner I look. I haven’t had anyone notice to the extent that she did... it was so cool because all the teachers I worked with there knew I was on a weight loss program, and then to run into her after having dropped over 115 pounds just amazed her. It’s fun to be successful... finally!

I have been making Roasted Veggies again. Dang, these are so good!

This batch I have chopped up cauliflower, broccoli, zuchini, yellow squash, red and green peppers, and mushrooms. Then I drizzled some olive oil, salt, and a dash of garlic powder and mixed it up well. They smelled and tasted so good before I even put them in the oven. I roasted them at 425 for 12 minutes, then turned and another 5-10 minutes. I shake just a bit of balsamic vinegar on them after they are out of the oven. Soo good!

Here’s a couple of my Lean and Green’s lately. Using a mixture of ground turkey breast and lean ground beef, I made these patties on the left with some Walden Farms sugar free BBQ sauce and a dash of grilling spices. They were tasty without needing any condiments. I had them with roasted veggies.

Upon finding that the only vegetable I had left were tomatoes, I made the meal on the right with left over turkey and 3 Roma tomatoes and a wedge of light laughing cow cheese (tomato and basil flavored). Very satisfying actually!

Here's to making healthy food choices even when temptation is all around us. I learned today in that changing room that feeling good about myself and my body feels SO MUCH BETTER than giving in to eating a ton of cookies or fast food or other foods that really aren't healthy for me. Life is GOOD.

Eighteen Years ago...

I don’t know if it was my openness about letting go of my doubts but I sure feel like I’ve been “attacked” by the adversary.

The last two days have been hard for me. I feel so lonely. I feel so friendless. I feel so alone. I have put myself out there and reached out so much. Yet I have been struggling with still feeling unwanted... just like I did 116 pounds ago. It stinks! Maybe it’s all a deception from the adversary but it sure feels real, ya know? I sometimes wonder when it will be my time to feel better and to have relief. The Lord knows the effort I’ve put forth...

I guess I hoped deep inside that losing weight would change some of my turmoil. Maybe my extended family relations would become closer, maybe I’d find those cherished friendships I seek, and maybe my heartaches would go away... finally!

I’ve been missing my mom and dad lately. They’ve been gone 18 years... which is how old my son is turning today. He has come a long way since he was diagnosed as a toddler. We were told he would probably need speech therapy his whole life and would always have a hard time communicating. He has surpassed everything we were told. I know my parents can see all that but how I’d love to share it with them. How I wish my son had them here to hug him and be proud of him. I ache for what he doesn’t have!

I imagine my mom seeing me lose all this weight and how happy for me she would be. She walked that hard path of obesity too. She knew! She had lost her mom too. We could share so much if she were here. I miss my dad’s turkey carving and silly jokes and inspirational stories. My kids would LOVE his humor. My parents were that soft place that I could fall. Where I knew I was loved and not mis-judged. It’s been so long. I forget what that feels like. How I wish I could go home to them for Christmas in Utah, if they were still here. I know we’d be welcome with open arms. What a change that would be for us right now!

But I do have a new life now. I have a new body - practically. I have an improved and even happier marriage. I’m closer with my kids. I have a whole new set of blogger friends. I have a whole bunch on NSV I’m enjoying. I am learning to see all the good in myself and in what the Lord has given me. The mantle is on us now, to provide that unconditional love for our kids and to help them learn to rely on the Lord. I want them to know where to turn when they struggle. I think of the saying “There is no heartache that heaven cannot heal” How I pray to be healed of mine.... I’m still trying to LET GO of my doubts!! I’m Letting Go.... I’m Letting Go...

I know life is so good.

Week 42 results - Hey, I'm 42!

So BOTH the hubs and I STAYED THE SAME this last week - no losses or gains. Yay for no gains! Time to get busy and get the rest of our weight off. I only have 29 lbs left and the hubs only has 22. I want to get it off and tackle some of my goals. I will post another time and list some of our goals and personal challenges we want to tackle.

My hubs is struggling with not cheating. No big time cheating but just staying 100% on plan and getting back into fat burning. He's used to downing some spoonfuls of peanut butter in the evenings and it's hard to break that habit. He also gives in to the occasional roll or donut. It's funny that it's not the other way around. I don't know if it has to do with the fact that I've been morbidly obese for 20+ years and so losing this weight is huge and major life changing. Finding a way to do this makes me feel very determined to be successful! I just don't want to go back there, ya know? Where my man has been thin and fit for most of his life. It's just been the last few years (specifically 2 years) where his weight really escalated. But either way, it's important to both of us to get healthy, be fit, live longer, and feel better!

Well, I gotta run and take my son to turn in his Eagle Scout Application. It's been a LONG road for this. He turns 18 on Tuesday!!!! I can't believe I will have an 18 year old. Does that mean I have to grow up too? (Naw!!!). Wishing blessings your way... XOX Margene

Thanksgiving and Letting Go

It was sweet and simple. Just our family. Simple delicious food. Lots of rest and lounging. Then a jaunt to the movie "Megamind" at the theater later on. Nice. Lovely. Quiet.

I tried brining my turkey this time, and it was so tender, moist and delicious. My daughter helped me form some Rhodes dough into rolls and they rose overnight (they got so big!). For the kids I had the rolls, gravy from a can (since I don’t know how to make my own), and stuffing. We also had roasted Veggies.

We snapped a couple of pics. I love how I can sit on My Man's lap now... and not destroy him in the process!

I stayed on plan... But I did eat a little more than 6 ounces of turkey breast... it was so good! I also snitched a couple bites of the cooked carrots that were under the turkey in all that yummy juice. They were so good. Carrots are not on plan right now but I will add them in later. I enjoyed my snitching. No pie. I had my Medifast pumpkin pie pudding (vanilla pudding w/ pumpkin pie spice and cinnamon - Yum!). I also enjoyed some knox blox and crunchy Medifast pretzels in the theater. I did not feel like I missed out on a single thing - food wise at least. :) Wonderful day!

Roasted veggies are my NEW FAVORITE!!

They are so easy.

I cut up the veggies into 1” cubes or so. I used broccoli, Cauliflower, zucchini, and yellow squash. Toss with olive oil and sprinkle with sea salt. Bake in middle of the oven at 425 for 12 minutes or so. Take out and flip them over as needed. Bake another 5-8 minutes as needed for that sealed roasted glaze. Then toss with just a splash of balsamic vinegar. SO delish!!!

I was reading yesterday over at Sam’s Believe in yourself blog and her post “It’s time to let go” really spoke to me. I know that letting go is really my theme of this whole journey. I’ve talked about this before especially when I first started back in February. Sam talks about a dream she had and the questions that came to her: Are there things in my heart that need to be set free? Things that daily cause me pain? That cause others pain? Things that cause this to be a painful life?

I have to say YES. I know that the pain and heartache I feel are things I need to let go. I get hung up on my lack of understanding. Why things turn out so differently, what was the purpose of certain events, are hurtful things said to me in the past still true, what is so horrible about me, and my list of questions can go on and on. I’ve recognized my need to let go. To move on. To have faith in my future. Yet, there are those times that a snippet of that heartache pops back into my life and I stumble and fall and fight it all over again. I have this song I love by Michael McLean that’s called “Let it go”. I love to just listen and soak in the words. Here are some of them:

“Letting go, opens up the heart. There is a new day hungry to start. You can’t change what has hurt you so, but you will heal, if you can let it go. All that’s wrong in your life, let it go. All that is worth saving..... is love. Love will hold you tight. Love lifts the burden and love shines the light. Only love nourishes a soul. If it’s not love, simply let it go.”

So Sam talks about letting go and embracing joy. She challenges her readers to find ONE THING to let go for today and to encourage our blog readers to do the same and to think of how much better this world would be if we all removed one of the painful things from our heart and replaced it with a feeling and action of gratitude. Grab this button too, and post about it if ya want! :)

So my one thing to let go of today is my DOUBTS. My doubts in things being positive, doubts in my relationships with others, doubts in truly trusting the Lord. I want to let them GO and replace them with FAITH. Faith in trusting the Lord. Faith that my family and friends are true to me (this is huge), and Faith in things turning out for the best. I know this seems huge, but it boils down to little thoughts.. and I want to LET GO of my little doubtful thoughts that lead me to so much pain. Whoooosh....... gone! Letting them go!

What do you want to let go of today?

As long as I'm smiling...

I am thankful for this journey and for having a husband who’s been taking it with me. I am thankful for my kids for the most part supporting us and making some changes of their own too. I’m thankful that we have a warm place to live and a job that provides, and that I get to be a stay at home mom for this moment! I’m grateful that I had loving parents who taught me by example how I should live and that left me an outstanding legacy of service and love to follow.

I do have some heartaches in my life. We all do. Mine are probably quite small compared to others. Yet, I know the Lord wants me to learn from this. I wish I didn’t have so much to learn! I’ve heard that on the other side of suffering is a greater capacity to love. I find it easy to feel love for others and I often feel it in abundance, yet I have a hard time feeling love in return. I have a hard time feeling the Lord’s love for me, although I know it’s there. Maybe it’s part of all those years of self-loathing that I am working to overcome, I don’t know. I just know that I am not turning to food for comfort anymore and in some ways, it makes me feel things even more bitterly.

Still going to be On Plan for tomorrow! Life is good!

Week 41 and the Deathly Hallows...

Oh yeah! We are big time Harry Potter Fans. I even have the official HP Wand and Marauders Map (which I got for my 40th bday). So today we headed out to see the movie with the kids and it was great! Except for now I have to wait 'till next year for part II. (In Margene time that is equivalent to about 4.5 years!)

So last July 2009, we got special screening passes to see HP & The Half Blood Prince even before it was released. I took my HP wand and we snapped this pic on the left below while we waited in line. I remember feeling pretty groovy with my wand.

(July 2009) -------------------------------- (Nov. 2010)

Then the pic on the right was taken just today. Yes, I brought my wand again. Feeling groovy again I suppose. I pulled up my old pic for a comparison. I cannot believe that was us just last year. It already seems like a lifetime ago. Never going back!!

Okay, so weigh-in this morning showed me having LOST 3 POUNDS! Woo Hoo! That breaks up my 3 week plateau. The hubs is STILL THE SAME. He's feeling a little down about that but definitely not out. He's been struggling with taking some spoonfuls of peanut butter in the evenings which is kicking him out of "fat burning" and slowing his weight loss. But he's working on it. It's also about his stress and ADD meds as well... we're trying to get the right combination of everything so he can feel 100 percent.

For Thanksgiving, I've decided that I'm staying on plan. None of this "I'll stay on plan except for the holidays." Let's see... the holidays: Thanksgiving meal, Christmas Eve meal, Christmas Day meal, New years Day meal.... that is 4 meals. So why do the "Holiday's" end up being more like 20 or more meals? It's 4 meals... is that worth gaining weight for? Not to me. When I've reached my goal and learned to maintain, THEN I will "splurge" a little more where I feel I can, but right now I am in weight loss mode. When I am on-plan, I am in "Fat Burning" which gives me the exact balance of protein, carbs and healthy fats to be burning my fat and losing 2-5 lbs a week (in a very healthy way). When I eat something off plan (like a donut), that's like throwing a big log on a roaring fire... it nearly puts it out and makes it take a long time to build up again (my metabolism) and it takes 3 days of being on-plan to get back into fat burning. Is a donut or piece of pie or brownie really worth 3 days lost? Not to mention the cost of that food - my Medifast food is about $10. a day so that donut would be a $30. donut. NOPE. I will be satisfied with my delicious Medifast brownie, or hot chocolate, or even these Vanilla Spice Cookies I made from the Vanilla Shakes... YUM! And it keeps me on plan. Plus I can enjoy a big 6 ounces of delicious turkey and some veggies or a fresh salad. I am so not missing out. And if I absolutely HAVE to, I'll have one bite of pumpkin pie. But as of right now I don't plan on it. If I had 2-3 bites of pumpkin pie, then I would start CRAVING carbs more. You know.... THAT is why I can do this plan... because it curbs my cravings so well. When I do let too many carbs slip in, my hunger and cravings go up. Staying ON PLAN is SO easy, because I don't have to fight all of that. People think I'm suffering or really going without but I am SO NOT. I am not fighting the cravings and fighting the cravings is what makes "dieting" so hard.

So that's my plan, and I'm stickin' to it!! Anyone else with me and want to stay ON PLAN for the holidays? We can so do this!

I also want to focus more on games and activities and spending time with loved ones this holiday season instead of making it just about food. I want to make it about spending time together!

You may have noticed too, that I've added tabs right below my header up there now. I have a tab that link to my "Take Shape For Life" info page, and one for my "Medifast Recipes". This is where I post my knox blox, Medifast Peanut butter balls, and other recipes I've tried. Then there is a link to "Margene's Lean and Greens". This shows pics of my lean and green meals. And when you click on the picture, it will link you to the blog post where I posted it and have the recipe. Hopefully that will be helpful to those looking for meal ideas. :)

Alright... Thanksgiving week... here I come!! Life is GOOD!!

10 Holiday Feasting Tips

The Holiday season has always presented me with a conflict. Most people may think of this time as a chance to visit with friends and relatives, remind ourselves of everything we're thankful for, to relax, and to share the Spirit of Christmas. However, we all know that this time means one thing.... FOOD!

So in order to maintain my weight this season, I am going to use these 10 tips handed down in my family through generations. It would be most selfish of me not to share:

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.

4. Food used to medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as pumpkin pie, ice cream, and hot chocolate.

5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment packages and not part of one's personal fuel, such as Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Vines, and Goobers.

7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

8. Things licked off of knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are pie filling licked off a spoon or frosting licked off a knife.

9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are squash and pumpkin pie, apples and strawberry ice cream, milk and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.

10. Asking for a blessing on the food and expressing thankfulness before a holiday dinner causes all the food to be eaten to be extremely healthy and vitalizing for your body despite the quantity of food consumed.

There you have it folks! Share these tips as you wish, and by all means, enjoy this holiday season of food.... I mean, of Thanksgiving!!

Week 40 - We're still here!

Well, our weigh-in yesterday morning showed us BOTH just exactly the same weight! No gains or losses last week. Okay, I can handle that. I am SO glad there wasn't a gain because during the week there was a day when I was over 170 on the scale... which freaked me out. I appreciated all the supportive comments from my last post. It's nice to hear from those of you who've gone through the scale wars as well! You guys are fabulously supportive!

We survived a busy weekend as well. Saturday evening, we did a church youth "Harvest Hoedown" dance and it was AWESOME! We had over 200 wonderful youth that responded so well. The hubs taught 2 lines dances and the crowd rocked that floor. I did all the music (that has always been my fort-ay at dances) and we had many compliments afterwards saying it was one of the best dances they've had. Three of our 4 kids were there and enjoyed it too. Good Times!!

And tonight we went to what's called "Young Women in Excellence" where our daughters were highlighted for the goals they've reached this year in their "Personal Progress" program. My younger daughter had been asked to speak as well, and she did such a great job! What's amazing is that earlier today she was also the youth speaker at church so she had double duty today. She was nervous and anxious yet she did so wonderfully. It was one of those "proud mama" days. Of course, on the way home in the van there was some bickering and whining between the kids... Oh Joy!

Last week or so ago, I made cauliflower pizza at a friends house. We made them rectanglish size. Always a yummy "Lean and Green."

Then yesterday I needed a quick lean and green and threw this combination together: 2 Morningstar pizza burger patties with squirts of mustard, sauteed zucchini & red peppers, and some tomato slices. It was so delish... that I made it again tonight. Maybe it's weird but that fits me! Well, it's late... I need to get to bed. God Bless XOX ~Margene

Weigh in tomorrow

It's almost midnight and I have to get to bed. I have a FULL day tomorrow and won't even be home most of the day. But weigh-in is in the morning, and for the first time, I'm kind of scared to see it. Most this week, I've been above my current weight. I've downed the water and stayed mostly on plan, but have had very little exercise. It's on my mind like an anvil... weighing me down with fear. I don't even want to think about the scale going the other direction ever! Yet I know we all have our plateaus. Very bad timing before Thanksgiving. This will be my first Thanksgiving since starting this lifestyle change - and I am a turkey and pumpkin pie lover. I've associated that with family, warmth, love, etc.

Tonight, our family sat around our Google TV looking at family pictures. We all laughed at all our "fat" pictures of me and the hubs. We have some doozies too. The kids literally were rolling on the floor laughing. Don't know if that's a huge compliment or not. :) Still, this is a mind game to overcome and SO much more than just losing weight to battle. We're still in that battle and in it for the long haul. At some point, we want to start a running program like c25k or similar... lots of plans just have to get it together. Now, I'm rambling. Good night... crossing my fingers for the morning!

Comfort Food for when it's COLD

The other night, the hubs and I went for a walk after the kids went in bed. It was nice and peaceful and MAJORLY COLD! The next morning I was imagining a nice hearty bowl of soup for my lean and green meal. So I checked out the latest Medifast Cookbook and found a “Hearty Chiken Vegatable Soup” recipe. I changed it slightly for what I had on hand and to have it in my crock pot.

Ingredients (that I used):

2.5 lbs chicken, boneless skinless

5 cups reduced sodium, fat free chicken broth

2 cups celery, chopped

2 cups green & red peppers, chopped

2 cups mushrooms, chopped

2 cups zucchini, chopped

2 T. parsley

1 t. Thyme

1/2 t. black pepper

2 cloves garlic (I didn’t have so I used garlic powder)

1/2 cup scallions, chopped (I didn’t have so I used some dried onion bits)

I started out defrosting my chicken tenders and then chopped up my veggies. I cut up the chicken into small pieces and cooked them on the stove top in about 1.5 T of olive oil until cooked tender and drained. Then I threw in the veggies and spices altogether for a few minutes.

Poured the broth in my crock pot and then added the chicken and veggies. I let it sit on low for 3-4 hours and it was nice and hot for dinner! Makes about 6 servings at about 380 calories per serving. I did add some sea salt also and it hit the spot for my soup craving. The original recipe also called for a little cream which I didn’t have and it was still yummy without those calories!

Yesterday at my daughters volleyball game, I saw an old friend I haven’t seen in like a year. She was coming and sitting right in front of me and I had to call her name just to get her attention. Then she said, “Wow, Margene, I don’t even recognize you, you’ve lost so much weight.” I wasn’t even thinking of my weight loss, but that made me smile. You see, one of the last times I visited with her was at an event where a bunch of desserts were served, and this picture was snapped of us. (Nov. 2008)

I had my plate loaded with cake, brownies, and cream puffs and was eating like a major pig! I remember even thinking that I was hungry and I just didn’t care what people thought. After I saw my friend yesterday, I looked up this picture. I should be totally disgusted but I think it’s more FUNNY now!! So not me anymore! Change is SO SWEET! Life is GOOD!!

Week 39 - What is your focus?

When my first two kids were little, and newly diagnosed with Autism, I learned rather quickly at the IEP meetings that focussing on all that my kids could do did NOT help get them the services they needed. At first, it can be so traumatic to just have a special needs child that when the IEP team members share glowing reports, parents might feel a sense of elation and even relaxation in really pursuing or worrying about their education. “It’s not so bad”, is how you start to feel. But as I hooked up with other parents, I learned how to advocate and to focus on my kids deficits and “attack” those areas during the short window we had while they were little. So that’s what I did. I learned to almost ignore all the “glowing reports” and keep reiterating the huge problem areas that my kids needed improvement on. I didn’t want to limit their future or potential. Studies had shown that beefy early intervention can make a huge difference.

I remember one time being told at an IEP meeting where they disagreed with me in holding my son back a grade due to him not having enough support and doing poorly, “You cannot expect a cure, Margene”. It was very upsetting for me to hear this because it made me realize that I see my child differently than they did. They did not expect him to do well, so they didn’t really want to invest in him. Who knows if he could be cured? They certainly didn’t. He was just another disabled child they had to budget services for and they tried to keep that budget as low as possible. [I am not discounting the many wonderful teachers my kids have had - that I know truly do care about each child they teach]

Thankfully, the Lord blessed my kids and they have come so far - nothing short of a miracle really! (That is a whole other post!) No cure yet they are independent and very gentle hearted souls. As they have gotten older, I have had to change my perspective. All these years, my focus was on their weaknesses, so that I could advocate for them. But in the last few years, that is not a good tactic anymore. Now is the time to focus on all they CAN do and build on that. And it is so hard to consistently make that change after 10+ years of dealing with the schools. Yet that is what my kids need now.

I think I’ve taken that perspective with me in to my weight loss. I needed to “attack” the weaknesses in myself - the weight, the bad habits, the bad food choices, etc. That has been my focus. It has worked for me. In having some success after all these years, I have been driven to eradicate it all. But it doesn’t quite work as smoothly as I’d like.

This last week my weight did not go down but stayed the same (and the hubs too). I only count my weigh-ins on Saturday mornings although I do weigh myself at other times and it fluctuates up and down from day to day but usually by Saturday morning I am always at my lowest. I have never had a weight gain since starting this program in February. Sometimes I’ve wondered if anyone reading about our journey is just waiting to see me or the hubs have a weight gain so they can say “Ahh Ha!!!” and cackle. Isn’t that awful that I suspect that? Maybe it’s my self-couscous inside just thinking that this is all too good to be true.

This week, I’ve actually been feeling a little deprived! I’ve been feeling like I’m missing out on things - fun social things that involve food. And today, we came home from church and had a family size Stouffers meat & cheese lasagna with Texas Toast garlic bread all ready for the kids. It smelled SO good and I really wanted to make myself a big ol’ plate with 2 pieces of that bread and scarf it down with my kids. And I could. No one would have stopped me. But if I did, the disappointment later would have engulfed me - not to mention that I’m sure I would gain weight over that one meal! I take things a lot more to heart than my hubs so when I mess up, it can really bring me down big time. Maybe that’s why he can snitch off plan here and there and be okay with it. But if I let a crack in the door open - it could lead me all the way down the path back to obesity and I don’t ever want to go there. I’ve been there and it SUCKS! Although I try not to be, I am kind of an “all or nothing” person!

So I need to learn to be happy with how far I’ve come and not intensify what I have left to lose. And, if I am to reach my goal, I need to BEEF UP my PHYSICAL ACTIVITY. Believe it or not, I’ve lost all this weight so far without a consistent exercise plan! I’ve been more active and exercised here and there - but when I go into transition and maintenance, I KNOW I need to be way more active to maintain my weight. And I want to. I have so much I want to do. I just hate doing stuff alone! I want to do it with my hubby or a friend. That would motivate me.

So even though this week, I have totally failed at the November Challenge I agreed to do, and I haven’t lost any weight, and I haven’t been as strict with my eating, and I haven’t made myself be active... I am trying to focus on the positive, while still eradicating my bad habits!! Having good intentions is one thing that does NOT help you lose weight!! I hope all my blogger friends are staying strong and positive!! Never give up!! Life is GOOD!

Our Family Pictures!!

Just to wet your appetite... here is our family picture from December of 2005. I am, of course, the family Christmas tree as everyone is gathered around me... (can I tell you that I FERVENTLY despised this picture?)

Here we are October 2010. I love the colors of the trees! It was a really gorgeous place.

We had over 100 pictures taken with many different poses. This one was a pose that was a little different for us, but I kind of like it.

And this is my Anne of Green Gables shot (with my Gilbert!)

At one point in between shooting, the hubs gave me a piggy back ride... which was never really attempted before due to my massiveness. That was fun! The photographer snapped this picture.

And a little comparison picture. The one on the left was taken in October of 2008, and the one of the right October of 2010. I remember thinking that by hiding my head behind my hubby that you couldn't tell how fat my face was. (yeah, right!) Funny thing is, I still have a hard time not thinking like that! It will take a while to change the way I think as it's so engrained in me to think like a morbidly obese woman! But I am loving that challenge! Bring it on!!

TAGGED by Lanie Panie and GIFTS and CHALLENGE

My new blogger friend, Lanie from Healthy Smealthy tagged me with 4 questions. Then I get to tag 4 other bloggers with questions. Here are her questions for me:

1. What's the most profound advice you've gleaned from my blog?

Okay, I just discovered her blog but the most profound advice was to eat lots of fruit!

2. What's the funniest thing you've read from my blog?
(see answer to first question) Fruit is funny, right?

3. What do you like best about me?
I love how Lanie is SO fruity!! And funny and witty. I will enjoy following her blog.

4. If it wasn't all about me, about whom would it be?

No one! There is really only her... at least on her blog.

Okay, so now here are 4 people I TAG and the Questions I have for them to answer (note - if I didn't tag you - and you'd like to answer these questions, then consider yourself tagged! - I only had 4 to choose):

Casey

Julie

Lucy

Ann

Questions:

1. What was a single act of kindness you received that had a big impact on you?

2. If you could give someone some wisdom in just 5 words or less, what would it be?

3. What did you eat for breakfast this morning?

4. What is the current book you are reading or have read?

Cool! I look forward to reading those answers!

Okay... this week I got a box from a friend on the other side of the country who sent me some of her Medifast food and some PB2. It was like Christmas. Thank you so much Lynn!!! Isn't she the sweetest? There were a lot of shakes, so I made some vanilla spice cookies (like, alot of them!) and put them in meal portion zip lock bags and froze them. And with the chocolate shakes I was attempting to make chocolate cookies but the batter wasn't thick enough so I made it into a brownie/cake. I used 14 chocolate shake packs, 2 scrambled eggs packs, 4 t. baking powder, and 10 packets of splenda.and mixed it with some water and Peppermint Patty sugar free syrup then Baked at 350 for about 40 minutes - made 16 servings. Then drizzled with Walden Farms sugar free chocolate syrup. (froze most of them to use as needed for a quick grab, microwave and go meal). Pretty yummy for not having cake for 10 months!!

November Challenge:

I am doing it... but missed yesterday :( I was sick and sniffly the whole day, but I'm back on board today. I really stink at the tricept dips and the push ups... but I'm not giving up!

Also, I should be getting my family pictures tomorrow. I had not idea I would be waiting this long (almost 2 weeks). In "Margene time" it has been many months!! Can't wait to see them, I hope I'm not picturing that I will look thinner than I do, I'm worried I will still think I look big and gross, but it's got to be some improvement. Later XOX ~Margene

November Challenge

I joined Christine's November challenge and started today. I love how these stretches target my abdominal and arm muscles as those are the ones I need the most work on. I have not done these stretches/exercises in years and I just finished all the sets. Wow, do I need improvement! So I'm glad for this challenge. Hopefully by the end of the month I'll be doing these with ease.

Here is what the challenge exercises are: (right from Christine's blog)

30 Crunches (or sit ups)

30 Reverse Crunches

30 Bicycle Crunches

30 Abdominal Twists

30 Push ups

30 Tricep Kickbacks

30 Hammer Curls

30 Tricep Dips

Do this every day for the month of November.

Anyone want to join me?