June Update

Hey friends! 

Happy June already.  Dang!!!  Where does the time go?  It would take a super LOOOONG post to update everything that I would really like to, and no one wants to really sit through that... so maybe I can do a FAST run through.

1. I went to my parents grave on Memorial day with my daughters and sister .(first time since I've lived in Utah).  It was SO nice.  Here I am with my sista!

2. The wind decided that we needed to collect tumbleweeds... which are exotic here in Utah!  They actually filled our porch and we had to kick them away just to get out of our house!

3. My daughter marched and played flute in her first parade - pretty sweet!

4. I was called as Relief Society President in my church (apparently, they don't realize how immature I am) which requires a lot of time - but I'm excited to serve.

5. Our dog had TWO puppies.  They are SOOO cute.  They just opened their eyes last week.  Miniature Dachshunds.

6. Three nephews have gotten married this month!  One in Oregon, One here, and one in Texas!

7. My brother who's lived in Texas for 12 years is moving here to Utah and will be fairly close to us now!!!

8. I've continued to run 2-3 times a week... up to 8 and then a new record 9.4 miles!  My half marathon is in less than TWO weeks (July 7th).  Booya!!!

9. My oldest son FINALLY got a job!!!!  He really needed that and we're so thankful!

10. I survived a FIRE on the mountain just a couple miles from our home - just last week! (and didn't have to evacuate).  Huge blessing... and it was quite an amazing display at night!


That about sums it up.  I have a terrific running buddy, and there is a group of us who play basketball 3 times a week.  SOOO fun!  I also still get to go to girls camp next month with all the young women in our church which is cool.  Life is good... it's just so crazy busy. 

I have had some amazing ups and some devastating downs just in the last few short weeks.  I am thankful to be busy and needed here in Utah... and I still do miss my friends in Oregon and think of them SOO often, but I'm thankful for the family I have here.  One of my brothers came through town and while he was here all the other siblings here joined for get together at my house... five of the seven of us!  So cool!!

My friend, Joy from Nuggets of Truth in Oregon, sent me a WONDERFUL surprise box with some goodies from the Hippie Chick half marathon that I was supposed to have run.  She sent me a card, hat, sunglasses, lotion AND a rock for me too that says "Because of you... I can do hard things"  That really made my day and gave me a boost I needed.  Thanks so much Joy!!  How wicked cool is that!!? I wore my NEW HAT on my record 9.4 mile run too!!!  Because I can do hard things!!!!

 

Life is GOOD

~Margene

 

Just a step away

I didn't go running yesterday.  Nope!  

Not ONLY that but I stayed up late with my kids PLAYING GAMES!

It was a school night, mind you, and I even ALLOWED by 6th grader 

to play games with us until after 12:30 AM!!!

I am SOOO naughty!

(The hubs was smart and already in bed) 

Irresponsible mother here!  I admit it.  

(Yet somehow I'm okay with that)

But I have been feeling some struggles and lying in bed at night is when my mind can get carried away into the negative.  I still fight it.  Playing games was a welcome and fun distraction.


This all stemmed from my girls trip last month when I had a game night with friends.  We played "spoons" and "scum" and now I play that with my kids almost every day!

So this morning we had our 6am scripture study which I dragged myself out for and then plopped right back into bed.  I knew I should run but I was tired and felt yucky (emotionally).  I work for my brother on the computer for several hours a day and I knew I only had a certain time-frame to get a run in before I'd need to go to work.  But I decided to just stay in bed.

There were many things that hit my mind - almost like I was being tested if I would do what I should do and not what I felt like doing.  I let every thought that told me to get up just slip away and I stayed in bed.

Until... my brother called and set back my time to work until noon.  I could sleep two hours if I wanted!  NICE!

 BUT I couldn't enjoy it.  It was like I knew the Lord gave me this extra time to help me make the right decision.  

So I stopped THINKING and RATIONALIZING and just got up and went running!  

Another run that almost wasn't!

Of course after I got out, it felt great.  The sun was out, the weather was warm with just enough breeze for me to have my jacket and hat on.  Perfect really.  Gorgeous views!  I ran up the mountain part way again.  That always whips me!  Burn baby!

Running is really just a step away.  But so easily can I just disregard it and fall back into old habits.  I'm thankful today that I JUST DID IT!  I'm still slow but at least I go!

JUST DO IT!  

Feels so much better when you do!

(except when it comes to eating poorly - don't do that - that feels yucky! :)

~Margene

What DEFINES You?

I started This month last Thursday with a one hour run.  Sweet!    

But then I didn’t run the whole weekend.  I’m supposed to do my “long runs” on Saturdays.  However, Saturday was my women’s basketball game.  This is the last game I am in town for since I will be out of town for the tournament this friday.  We ended up playing ourselves again for a scrimmage 4 on 4.  My daughter was with me again and for some reason that day, I had my GAME ON!  I scored more than I ever had and had some great steals and layups.  It felt SO GOOD.  I  love playing... I’m so grateful that I can play! 

I have been on plan with my eating all last week and feeling good about my food choices.  Yup.  Lots of water. Doing good.  Then Sunday came and we were invited to a family members house to celebrate a birthday.  I found myself eating rolls with honeybutter - which was not on my plan.  Then... the cake and ice cream came out and I was going to not have any when the hubs decided he wanted some so I let myself have some with him.  Yum.  But dang, I wanted to be on plan!  So..... I’m not going to beat myself up or feel like I blew it.

Because - one decision of weakness 

DOES NOT DEFINE ME!!

I enjoyed the cake and my family.  It’s all good.  (This is progress for me because I have gone into quite the discouraging self-anger in the past when I’ve eaten things off plan.)

I have had my downs and things that I struggle with.  I am trying NOT to focus on them as I don’t want to give any more power and energy to the negative in my life or negative things I feel.  I’ve been trying to be patient in how I interpret things and to allow a few days for the Lord to enlighten my mind and help me see things as they really are.  To not jump to a negative conclusion or take to heart things that allow me to feel hurt.  Letting things go... Choosing to see the positive... Assuming the absolute best in others and myself.  I am a work in progress!

Yesterday morning - I headed out for my run.

God gave me the BLUEST SKY and CLEANEST AIR and as I ran I felt the STRENGTH in my LIMBS and LIFE WAS GOOD.  I ran up the side of the mountain again for that incredible view of the valley.  My heart was so full of gratitude that morning and I LOVED my time to myself and thinking, talking with God, enjoying my tunes, etc.  Before I knew it, an hour had gone by!  I still felt great.  So I kept running!

As I was getting close to my home and running down my street - it felt amazing and surreal to have run for so long.  I thought about how going through the hard times I have - has blessed me with MORE GRATITUDE for what I do have:

I reflected on many of my life’s struggles where the answers came later on - even years and years later.  And since I have been forced to wait for those blessings - they have became more cherished.  I can say that for my children (took us several years to have children), my husband (who I waited for for 2 years while he served a church mission), and my friends (who I prayed for years to find).

So now I am running down my street, in a body I haven’t had since junior high school.  A body I can run in, breath in, enjoy my life in.  I lived in a prison for so long and now I am running free.  

If I had not been in a prison - would I cherish what I have now?  If I had all these blessings right when I first wanted them, would they mean as much to me now?

I can’t imagine that they would.  These challenges have shaped me and endeared me to LIFE.  Life, my family, my friends are all MORE DEAR to me and MORE TREASURED than I ever imagined.

I reached my house and saw that I had run for 1 HOUR 35 Minutes for a total of 
SIX MILES!  
YOWSA!!  New Margene Best!  

Now, I will let THIS good accomplishment DEFINE ME!  
I can do hard things.  
And so can YOU!!

What are YOU going to let DEFINE YOU?

Life is so good.  I hope you find a way to enjoy and find the beauty in YOUR life!

Three Days and my girls and I are ON A PLANE to OREGON!!!  WAHOOOOOOOO!!

XoxOXO ~ Margene


(PS - This is Mango... he is not as impressed!)

What I loved best...

Last Friday we had another women's church basketball game.  THIS time, my daughter came with me and played with us!!!  It was her first time even playing basketball and she kicked it!  Of course, she was the youngest so no wonder she could cruise down the court.  

It really MADE MY DAY to have her come share that with me.  

That is what I loved best last weekend!!

And we WON!!!  We had an hour of practice, an hour of a game, then another hour of a scrimmage with another team since their rivals did a no show so we played them.
Three hours of basketball and I was in heaven!  

I also got a NEW super cool PINK ball.  

How uber super duper KEWL is that!!! 

Gotta love it!

Saturday was supposed to be my long run... but I failed.  I never did go run.  

Mostly because I was swamped with my work all weekend.  Sunday my body gave out and I spent the whole day recuperating.  

So today I did go running this morning.  It has been 4 days since I had run last and I did NOT want to loose the stamina I've gained so far.
 I ran for almost an hour!  

And I am happy to report that it didn't kill me!  Yay!  I am starting to enjoy my solitary runs with my ipod and thoughts to myself... as long as it's outside!  (Running alone on the treadmill is the absolute MOST boring.)

I passed several pastures of horses.  I would look over and here's this horse just standing there staring at me.   So I waved to him and smiled.  The horse just continued to stare - I could not tell what he was thinking, but he did turn his head as I passed.  Do you think he realizes I'm being friendly?
I like horses!  I want them to like me! :)  

Well, this is my quick note for today.  

Trying to get over the small heartaches which trouble me and 

hold on to awesome stuff that really matters!!

Life is GOOD!  

XoxoxOX

~Margene

The Run that Almost Wasn't

Yesterday was a run day and I got myself ready before I could consider not going and was out the door quickly.  What I didn't realize UNTIL I was out the door was how FREEZING cold it really was.  The air was crisp and clean and the sky wasn't completely overcast, however, there were tiny little flurries of snow, almost invisible.  The wind whipped my face frozen in seconds.  No one was venturing out of their houses.  That is, no one but me!

I pulled my hood up over my head and it wouldn't stay as the wind just brought it down, but I began my little chant "I can do this - It's not so hard - I've done this before".  I was about five houses down when I realized that I was going to FREEZE and DIE!  So I turned around and began jogging back thinking about going straight down to that treadmill.  Secretly, I knew I was kidding myself and I would end up NOT running at all that day.  Too cold, perfect excuse.

But somehow when I got to my house, I just kept running the other way down the street.  Somehow, I kept going and held the hood on my head with one hand.  I was thinking I was crazy because more than anyone, I HATE to be COLD!!  Amazingly it became tolerable and it's like Heavenly Father took the edge off of the cold for me.  It wasn't so bad.  I ran a completely different route through residential areas, gravel pathways, paved pathways, up and down streets, and down a back dirt road... until it had been almost 50 minutes and then I allowed myself to get home.

I amazed myself that I persevered.  Truth be told, there are many times when I DON'T overcome my obstacles.  But when I do... Those are the ones I need to remember!  

Those are the only ones that count!!

We have to look for things to boost ourselves up with... because there will always be things to beat ourselves down with.  At least that's how I am.  

So for yesterday... BOOYA!

Just also wanted to show these cute earrings Sandrelle gave me.  

The woven part are hair strands from Takoda.... who will always be my 

FIRST HORSE RIDE!  

xoxOx 

~Margene

An Amazing Day... A Check Off My Bucket List!

Monday was an incredible day for us.  I had the wonderful opportunity to meet an on-line blogger buddie in real life.  I met Sandrelle who has lost a lot of weight and maintained that loss for a few years.  I have been reading her blog, Keeping it off, for over a year and was THRILLED to meet her.  She really is just as beautiful and sweet as you see on her blog!

And not only that, she let me ride her beautiful horse, Takoda!!

This was something I listed on my bucket list of things to do now that I’ve lost my weight and actually can!  

It was an amazing experience!

First, we got to help brush him while he stood in a stall.  He was so patient and sweet.  My daughter was already asking me for her own horse!  Then we put the saddle on him and Sandrelle coached me on how to mount him.  I was a little nervous and when I finally did - I almost felt like I’d fall off.  I mean, this is a moving animal!  But I got used to him quickly and I couldn’t stop smiling.  I was able to walk and even trot with him.  It was kind of surreal... like riding the roller coaster for the first time!

She took us outside and I got to try riding him while  holding the reigns myself.  How FABULOUS is that?  

I could DO THIS EVERYDAY!!  

My daughter also got a chance to ride him and loved it.

I can see why Sandrelle has a passion for horses!  She rode him after we did and showed us all the commands he can do.  It was cool to watch.  And my kids and I enjoyed feeding him carrots after all the riding. He takes them right from our hands and was so gentle not to make us think he’d bite us.  He could even play ball with us by rolling it to us with his nose. Right before we left, Sandrelle gave me some very beautiful and unique earrings she made that included some of Takoda’s woven blond hairs.  How sweet it that!!  

FABULOUS!!

I went running outside yesterday by myself... I almost didn’t and by the time I made myself run it was almost noon!  But the air was crisp and it felt good.  I didn’t feel as energetic as I did on my long run last Saturday and I actually felt some little aches in my ankles and knees within a minute of running.... BUT.... I told myself “It’s not that hard - I can do this - I’ve done this before!”.  I even went running UP A HILL - you know, that mountain I said I’m going to climb this summer?  I jogged a tiny ways up it until the pavement stopped and had a gorgeous view of our valley.  As I was finishing my run, I actually felt better and the aches went away... strange, and I even could pick up my pace a bit.  

It pays to STICK WITH IT.

I ended up running 3.12 miles.  So now I can run 3 miles fairly well... without killing myself.  That feels pretty good!!

In just a few weeks, my daughters and I are taking a girl trip to Oregon!  YAY!!  We have been saving and planning for this for months.  I always thought it would be cool when my daughters got older to have gal trips with them and I am so excited for this.  It’s fun to have them older and I hope we all will get along blissfully!!  ;)  

I don’t know if our Oregon friends are as excited about us coming - as we are to see them - but it will be a great memory!

Take care, my friends!!  

Life is GOOD  

xoXOxo ~Margene

Did I do my VIRTUAL RUN Today?

Last night was another one of our women’s basketball games.  I get way excited to play.  I love to pump it up and really do my best.  I LOVE IT!!  I run, I get hot, I try to make baskets, I try to steal the ball.... it’s so dang FUN!

Brent and my daughter came to watch.  The other team didn’t show up (so they forfeited and we won) so we just played each other on a 4:4 team still full court.

Rowr!!  We Yo Mama's!!  I'm second to the end on right

I can’t even type this without tears coming to my eyes - it’s hard to express what it means to me to have my husband and daughter watch me play.  Because more than anyone else in that building THEY know what it’s taken for me to get here. THEY know what it means for me to play.  I am making up for lost years here.  YEARS!

Even though I’m not the best of players... my heart is so in it and I feel so alive playing.  When I can run down that court on a fast break and I’m the first one to the basket, or when I guard another player and I can keep up with her and stop her from scoring... I feel like a WINNER.  Because I could NOT have done that for so many years.  It means so much to me to have my husband and daughter proud of me.  No one else there may have had any clue what it meant... but for me - it’s FREEDOM FROM BONDAGE!

After the game, my friend and I took our daughters and splurged on some frozen yogurt.  We definitely had burned enough calories and earned that splurge (that is our reasoning and we stand by it)  No toppings, just the yogurt.  It was a great memory.

Yes, I'm wearing my really extra big jacket - trying to keep extra warm :)

Soooo... this morning was my VIRTUAL RUN for  Tori's Febtastic 1st Annual Virtual fun Run/Walk for February.  I laid in bed for a long time... seems to be a pattern when I almost psyche myself out of things, but eventually I got out of that bed and literally raced out of the house before I could change my mind.

Threw on my jogging out fit and just about to head out the door!

As I got down the street, I realized I DID NOT have my knee braces on.  Dang!  Hope my knees don’t get sore - as this is going to be a longer run!  

It was cold but clear and I had this gorgeous mountain range all around me... the view was incredible as I ran and the music kept me going.  I would punch out during certain parts of the songs.  I had the Star Wars Darth Vader theme music come on my ipod... and I couldn’t help but raise my hand up to the sides like I was using the force to move things, and then breath out and I sounded just like Vader. It felt powerful!  I smiled as I thought about anyone peeking out their window laughing at me.  Oh well, dork is me.  It felt cool!

What amazed me is how good I felt running.  Maybe it was just being outside this time!  I took my pace SLOW and STEADY.  I didn’t even look at my watch until over 30 minutes has passed.  I had lots to think about and discuss in my head with Heavenly Father.  I felt such gratitude that He gave me this body and that I could run.  I felt grateful for the strength He gave me so I could.  At one point, my hair bangs kept falling down over my face annoying me and as I wished they would stay out of my face - just then, a cool breeze came and blew them back out of my way and gave me a nice cool feel on my face.  I knew it was a little gift from HIM... He cares even about those tiny things. 

So even though I was running alone when I preferred to have a buddy, it’s like I was RUNNING with ANGELS and I wasn’t alone!  Maybe those angels were my wonderful parents.  Being on the other side, they can see that bigger picture and they know the path I’ve traveled and how hard it's been for me.  THEY KNOW.  They LOVE me!   It makes me smile to think they may watch me or be angels that run with me.  I don’t know if that is true, but I do know that I WASN’T ALONE.

I ran a ways down a long pathway that leads out of our valley then I came all the way back.  I did start to tire after an hour but I was determined to get all the way back to my house.  Towards the end it was just about enduring and my eyes were pretty much on the path just a few feet ahead.

I made it home and right into my husbands arms.  He had tried riding his bike to find me but never did.

I pulled out my pedometer to see that

 I had run 5.35 MILES!!

BOOYA!!

THIS IS A NEW MARGENE LIFETIME RECORD!!!  

I’ve never run that far or long in my lifetime yet.  

I ran for 1 hour and 25 minutes straight without stopping.  

I was hoping to just run over 1 hour and possibly 4 miles... I am so pleased to have beaten my own goal!  

AND my knees are not overly sore.  

What a blessing!

It amazes me what a person can do that we don’t realize we can do.  Maybe we focus way too much energy and thoughts on our mistakes and failures that we don’t realize that our potential is UNLIMITED and a million times more than we know!  Maybe we should focus more attention to what we want to DO or ACHIEVE instead of all the mistakes and obstacles along the way. 

DISTRACTION can be our enemy... especially those negative thinking ones that serve no good purpose!  I am still learning this.  I am still trying to NOT get distracted by self-doubt, fear, loneliness, or laziness... but to realize I CAN DO IT.  

I’ve been saying to myself every time I start a run,“It’s not that hard, you can do this - you’ve done this before” and that’s been helping me not to go into thinking how hard it is and that I want to stop.  

“It’s not that hard - I can do this - I’ve done this before”.  

Words can have such power.

Whatever you have before you - I hope you can CONQUER yourself and JUST DO IT!  
You CAN DO IT!  

Focus on that end result and IGNORE the mistakes along the way.

Life is GOOD 

xoxoxo ~Margene

You're a Firework!!

This week I decided to change my running to Mon/Tues/Thurs  - and maybe begin my longer runs on Saturday.  That way my runs wouldn't interfere with basketball on Wed and Friday.  I learned last week that running and playing basketball on the same day leaves me in a lot of PAIN!

So Monday, I got on the treadmill WITH my Ipod and with the TV on "Shawn the sheep" for distraction... although the music is actually much better than watching something, and I ran.  Just 7 minutes into the run, my ankle began to hurt and my knee felt some twinges and I was already contemplating the thought of making it a very short run.  You know the thoughts... tempting yourself out of work outs.... tempting yourself into wrong food choices.  Yada yada yada...

Somehow I pushed through and amazingly about 30 minutes into the run, my ankle and knee felt fine and I was feeling pretty good about running - and not stopping to walk.  As I approached 50 minutes the song:  Firework by Katy Perry came on my Ipod.  I like that song, but something about having been running for so long and pushing myself - and then hearing those words in that song - just spoke to me and gave SO MUCH more meaning to the words.  I felt like that song was written just for me.  I especially felt ignited by the words:

Even brighter than the Moon, moon, moon

It's always been inside of you, you, you

And now it's time to let it through, through, through

'Cause baby your a Firework

Come on, show 'em what your worth

Make 'em go "oh, oh oh"

As you shoot across the sky, sky sky

Running is often such an emotional experience - pushing yourself farther than you thought you could go.  I ran for 52 minutes and for 3.4 miles.  

WOW!  

Then Tuesday (Valentine's Day) - I was nervous to be able to match that... same thing though... pushed myself.  This time I tried to take slightly longer strides and I also ran for 52 minutes and covered 3.49 miles.

BOOYA!  

I did feel it in my left knee afterwards though, so I'm glad I'm taking a break for a day.  It's still overwhelming to think about running a 1/2 marathon, though!  I'm thinking about doing my "VIRTUAL 5K" this Saturday if anyone wants to join me.  :)

Running makes me wonder what more can each of us really do that we don't KNOW we can do?  What do we not do because of our fear of failure?  Or what do we shy away from because we feel we're not good enough?  How amazing is it, to realize MOST or ALL our self-defeating thoughts are completely FALSE!  Our worth is not determined by what we think or by how we are perceived... it's ALREADY before us set in stone!  What we can accomplish is already there WAITING for us to reach out and DO IT!

I hope I can always remember this!  Life is good.  

Forgive yourself and others... and MOVE ON with a SMILE.  

xoXO ~Margene

Virtual 5K - Who's with us?

On Wednesday morning, I slithered out of bed and ran on my treadmill for over 40 minutes... stopping only once!  I was hoping that I had run over 3 miles but not quite.  One thing I noticed is that I forgot to put on my knee braces.  Oopsy... glad my knees seemed to be okay.

The killer was that in the afternoon, I also had a basketball practice - which I love.  So there I was at practice and we do a full court run guarding and passing and I was hustling when... BAM... my legs started hurting and were on FIRE.  I must have really pushed them that morning and then at practice.  They hurt for the rest of the day and the next as well.  For the first time I was taking quite a bit of pain killer just for my legs.
Gives new meaning to "feel the burn" for me.

So as this morning approached, I was even more apprehensive to run as my legs were still sore.  Yet I somehow dragged my behind out of bed today and made myself get all ready to run.

Dang, it's getting harder to do but I can't let myself stop!  So, I went to run outside today for a change and my kids had taken my ipod off the charger to play their own, and mine was dead.  Drat! So... down to the treadmill again I went.  (I think running alone and in silence would be torture)...

So I put on some movie on Netflix I hadn't seen before and ran.

I ran for 52 minutes!!! Only walking one time for about 20 seconds.

BOOYA.  

I was thrilled to see I ran over 3 miles!!  5K baby!!

I kept singing the song "Whole Wild World" in my head as I ran.  (may not be the exact words)

I'm gonna walk 100 miles
I'm gonna whistle all the while
If that's what it takes to make me smile
I'm gonna walk 100 miles

I'm gonna run right up this hill
Impossible as it may feel
If I gotta take a break I will
I'm gonna run right up this hill

I wanna hold the whole wide world
Right here in my open hands
Maybe I'm just a little girl
A little girl with great big plans

I love how the words of that song appeal to my sense of JUST DOING IT ("I'm gonna run...").  Yes, I am just a little girl... in the scheme of life... but a little girl WITH GREAT BIG PLANS.  I love that!


SO... My wonderful blogger friend, TORI, is having:  Tori's Febtastic 1st Annual Virtual fun Run/Walk this month for anyone who wants to join in.  It's between Feb. 12 to Feb 29 you take a day and call it your virtual 5k fun run/walk... blog about it and take pics if you want and share it.  I love that idea!  Check out her blog for more info.  If we don't have someone to walk or run with, we can do it together "Virtually".  Coolness.  You wanna join us?

I want to thank my friends and blogger buddies for your awesome support and encouraging words.  I just really appreciate reading them... sometimes your words come at just the time I need to hear them.  ((((Hugs)))) to each of you!  

Life is GOOD!

XoxoXO ~Margene

Sometimes You Wanna Climb BACK into Bed!!

Thanks for your comment, Julie, and for asking how things are going.  It’s nice to know someone is thinking of me.  I enjoy that extra push to update my blog as it’s actually one of the FUN things to do in my day.

My new running shoes are working out GREAT!  And I haven’t missed a training run yet.  I run M/W/F.  Lately all my runs are on the treadmill (so boring).  Last Wed I ran 6 sets of 7 minutes with the last set bumped to 8 minutes.

Then Friday I ran 4 sets of 10 minutes.

Monday was hard!  I sat in my bed NOT wanting to get up.  I contemplated for a good 5 minutes the consequences of not running, why I am running, do I really want to run, etc. Then I just stopped thinking and got up and did it.  Too much thinking can not be good sometimes.

I put on the movie “Groundhog Day” - which isn’t the best movie to watch when you’re running as it just repeats itself.  However, I ran two sets:  15 minutes and then 24 minutes!  It wasn’t quite 3 miles but it was the long sets that I felt good about.  And I DID IT.  I could have stayed in bed and nothing but my own will power made me get up and run.  That at least gives me power over myself!

I think I’m ready to run a 5k straight through now... if I don’t second think myself to death.  I pray to find a running buddy!!  I pray to find more buddies, period!

Last Friday was a double whammy run day for me as well.  Our church women’s basketball team played our first real game and we won 25-24.  Wow, was that a totally fun work out.  There was a very aggressive player on the other team and I wanted to guard her.  I felt so riled up to STOP her momentum and be that player that reined her in.  Defense has always been my strength in bb.  I also realized that I am probably 10 years OLDER than everyone else playing... which is weird because I actually don’t feel that way!  My pedometer showed that I ran for 2 miles during that game alone!  That is a fun way to rack up the steps.

I certainly have my obstacles to break through lately... as we all do.  Things I wish I weren’t so tender and sensitive about.  Longings of my heart that just bring me heartache.  Yesterday was a hard day for me and by the end of the day I was depleted of joy and just sad.  So I gave in and allowed Brent to take me and my daughter for a frozen yogurt at 9pm at night.  I loaded up that yogurt cup too and savored every last bite.  I knew I’d feel guilty later, because it wasn’t on my plan.  I was trying to hold off having a frozen yogurt until my gal trip to Oregon next month.  And do I really need a frozen  yogurt to cheer me up?  (I don’t want to answer that right now...)

So there you have it.  Life is hard, life is painful, sometimes you may want to just climb back into bed.... YET Life is still SOO GOOD and SOO worth Living!!  

~XoxoXO Margene

Struggles Make The Prize Greater...

I am not one who likes to struggle or suffer or be full of heartache!  I don’t like feeling like a mis-fit or friendless or lonely or ugly or fat or unwanted!  I absolutely detest feeling like a 3rd wheel or forgotten or unappreciated or insignificant!  I hate feeling like I have no value and that my life is of little worth to anyone!  

Who does?  

(okay, that might be a question for a psychiatrist).

Yet I have felt (and often still feel) many of those things... 

Life is so ironic, though!  I see that because of my struggles - my triumphs have HUGE meaning to me.  The times I overcome and conquer those feelings have been the SWEETEST of victories - even tho they may be seemingly small.

Perhaps what seems small to us, are viewed as HUMONGOUS strides to the angels who watch us!  Perhaps the obstacles in this life - swimming upstream so to speak - make any upward movement, no matter how small, a triumph worth celebrating!  I am convinced this is true.

I overcame some things this week.  I overcame extreme guilt and self-anger at indulging in two servings of a high-sugar dessert I hadn’t planned.  I overcame self-pity at having no running buddy.  I overcame some lonely feelings and sadness that no friend called me when I really wanted it.  I overcame the hurts I felt from some family members.  I overcame some self-doubts I was having...

I can forgive myself.  

I can forgive others.  

I can keep moving forward.  

I can SMILE everyday at the Goodness that is in my life!!

I have my life back!  I have my health back.  I can run.  I can ride my bike.  My relationship with my kids is so much better.  I have the most amazing supportive husband ever!  I have a stronger relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ.  I know He suffered for me and I am of great worth to Him!  I have wonderful friends in my life.

My life is a Miracle!  

I have what my mother didn’t have... a SECOND CHANCE!  

(She died at 56 from heart disease)

I will take it
and live in HER honor 

and become that daughter that is worthy to bear her name!

I have to post this video... that reminds me how much greater the prize is - because of what we go through to get it!  NEVER GIVE UP!  

What Do you Do if You FALL? - CLICK and Watch THIS VIDEO!

Updates:

I am Loving playing basketball again - even tho I’m the oldest one there by like 10 years (didn’t even realize that till I thought about it).  It’s okay... I’m living my life and excited I can play!

Got some running shoes!  (I took back my Costco ones)  I went to a running store and got “fit” for these and I’m so glad I did.  I learned some tips on running and how to avoid knee damage.  So far this time in training, my knees have not been hurting at all!  So happy about that.  I still wear knee supports every time I run or play bb because I don’t want to damage them.

I have been ROCKING IT with my running.  Went last Friday and ran 10 sets of 4 minutes with the last 2 sets I pushed to 5 and then 7 minutes.  I ran nearly 4 miles!  Yesterday (Monday), I ran on the treadmill and did 8 sets of running for 5 and 6 minutes.  I am getting close to being able to run longer periods without having to stop and walk.  It's kicking my tushie but it feels fabulous to be able to increase that time.  BOOYA!

Also, I am now the Young Women Camp Director for our church group!  I get to head up girls camp this year!  So excited - it’s going to be so fun to be there with my girls again!  My plate is getting fuller all the time but it’s all good and I love it!!

LIFE IS GOOD!

How are YOU celebrating YOUR life?