Negative Thinking

I was thinking this week, how detrimental negative thinking can be.  It starts out so small, just something tiny and then it can so easily build from there and before you know it, you have this whole scenario or view that is NOT based on truth or reality - but just what you negatively THOUGHT it was.  It is so easy when you are stressed or feeling bad, to assume negative intentions in things that other people do or say.

I can see how this has been a hinderence in my life.  It's like there is this catalyst that happens and affects how I think, how I feel, how I handle situations, and choices I make.  Then when I made unhealthy food choices, it draws me farther away from positive energy, truth, and self-confidence.

I believe for me this boils down to staying close to God.  To having His Spirit in my daily life.  

I had a situation recently that took me from my fun, happy self, to a very low, dark place.  After a while, the situation did get resolved and sweet peace did come.  Sweet relief and thankfulness!!  Yet, as I reflect back on this, I can see how I separated myself from HIS help.  This is how it was for me:

Lack of His Spirit --> Hurt Feelings and/or Feeling Offended --> Negative Thinking --> Bad Choices

Bad choices in food, seem to keep me more away from having God's Spirit with me.  It's like it separates me further.  Everything about our health is connected spiritually as well, I truly believe.  So I make some bad food choices and before I know it, I start thinking things like:  I can't control this, Things are too hard, I feel so yucky, I don't want to do this, I don't feel like doing any work, I feel so ugly, I have no friends, no one likes me, I feel alone, I can't help my situation, There's no way to change things, etc.

The TRUTH is...

I CAN Control my life.  

It's like the first things that goes in this situation is the faith that I have a choice... it's like the adversary wants me to feel that I am helpless and it's too hard for me to control. 

 THIS Is what kept me obese for so many years.

I am grateful that I can recognize this in my life.  And when those thoughts tempt me, I remind myself that:

I AM in Charge of my Life 

I ALWAYS Have a Choice!

I CAN Make Better Choices

This Moment Does NOT Define Me

I Decide What Defines Me

For me, what is MOST important is that I stay close to my Heavenly Father 

and rely on Him EVERY SINGLE DAY.

This is what helps me stay positive and endure the trials that I face.  

For me, it about prayer, scripture study, and service.

THEN making good choices is easier, and I feel better and I can overcome!  

So this is how I aim to be:

Seek His Spirit --> Be Grateful --> Think Positively & Assume the Best --> Good Choices

That's my thought for the day.  Life is GOOD!!  

Blessings to you, my reader.

XoXOXo ~Margene

Oh how I love Roasted Veggies!

I learned to love roasted veggies while on the 5:1 TSFL plan.  Of course then, I didn't add potatoes and onions as they are higher carb veggies.  But most veggies taste delish this way.  Broccoli, yellow squash, zucchini, tomatoes, mushrooms, peppers, cauliflower, asparagus, cabbage... it's so good!

 Just chop up your veggies and toss with a little olive oil, sea salt, fresh ground pepper, and garlic seasoning (or whatever spices you want - it even tastes good with just s/p)

 Line a cookie sheet with foil and a little non-stick cook spray.  

Roast in the oven at 425 for about an hour (possibly less if you don't have potatoes in the mix), and...

Voila!  Yummy roasted veggies.  I also usually sprinkle a little balsamic vinegar afterwards and it really makes it so tasty!!  My kids gobble this up too.

ENJOY!!

~Margene

What Limits? Be Inspired

I ran across this video through Megans Half my size challenge blog and just had to post this.
This is worth the watch!!

What Limits do you have?

Back To School TIPS

Back to school time and back to a regular schedule time.  YES!!  I need this!    I found these tips from Dr. Anderson very helpful:

1. Do as much as possible the night before. This will ensure you are not rushed in the morning.  Breakfast is the one thing you don’t want to cut out of your schedule to make up time. Eat something that is easy to prepare for breakfast. Starting your day with a healthy choice will help you stay on track all day long. A hard boiled egg and a 1/2 whole wheat English muffin can be a great on the go breakfast. Also, a meal replacement shake or bar make great on the go companions

2. Pack healthy snacks in your purse, briefcase or car. Healthy options you can bring from home can include almonds, fruit, meal replacement shakes and bars.  Fueling between meals helps to prevent getting hungry and over eating at a later meal. If you have access to a refrigerator during the day bring yogurt, cheese cubes, baby carrots, celery sticks and all natural peanut butter.

3. Stock your house with nothing but healthy foods and snacks for kids. When you have junk food around it can be too tempting for little one who want an after school snack. Fresh fruit, yogurt, nuts, seeds, and veggies are all great options.

4. Plan meals and grocery shop ahead of time. Include a couple good old standbys on your weekly menu. Your family doesn’t expect a gourmet meal every night. Pick 3 easy to prepare, healthy meals that you can cook in under 30 minutes such as Mesquite Grilled Shrimp and Sirloin & Vegetable Kabobs.

5. Delegate…assign children age appropriate tasks to keep them involved and help get dinner started. Ask your teen to start chopping the veggies, your pre-teen to help gather needed ingredients and place them on the counter and get the little ones involved in setting the table and folding napkins. Children take pride in being a part of a meal and will be more likely to eat what is in front of them if they feel invested.

6. Turn off the TV during dinner. This acts as a two for one benefit for your family. Not only do you tend to eat less when you are mindful of your plate but you also have the opportunity to find out how your children are adjusting to the school year. Don’t forget if teens  and pre-teens aren’t as open as you would like them to be, don’t pressure them to talk, watch for non-verbal cues and trust your instincts, after all you have known them their whole lives.

7. Don’t over book…by keeping one weekday afternoon free it gives your children time to relax and recharge. It can also provide time to catch up or get ahead on school work which can help keep stress levels down.

You can go directly to his article here  

Life is still way busy but I'm getting some order to it.  My kids are in school and I actually miss them! :)  Life is FULL of good things we're doing.  The other day, the hubs was volunteering at my daughters school and my son was working and everyone was gone... so I went for a bike ride by myself and it was fabulous.  Miss  those  times!  

Also caught this sun hanging in the sky the other night.  Wow, It's a beautiful time of year!  What are you finding in your life that is beautiful?  Life is SOOO good.  I love it!  It's dang hard sometimes and I struggle like every other day, but I am SOOOO blessed.

SOOOOOO.... I have let my eating get way off plan and now it's time to rein it in!!! My goal is to AVOID sugar and deserts and FOCUS on Fruits / Veggies / Lean meats & proteins.   Who's with me?

~Margene XoxoXO

It's how it is

This is me right now!

Life is good,  yes, 

but sometimes that IRON MAN suit has to come on.  

Talk to the hand!

~Margene

Not My Own

Hey...

Well, I'm back from Girls Camp which was amazing.  It was 4 days of Amazingness.  We had 35 girls and 6 leaders plus our Bishop and his counselors.  A lot of Incredible people!!

While we were there we did a confidence course which included a climbing wall.  I got to be at the top and would help the girls that needed help to reach the top by grabbing their arms or hands and pulling them up.  It was an amazing experience to cheer them on and watch them struggle and then to make it.  It felt so symbolic of my life any my struggles.  I also felt such love for each of those girls and I could feel how much Heavenly Father loves them!

Another day, we did a zip line.  That was pretty epic as well.  Some girls were very scared and overcame their fear and went anyway.  That took a lot of courage.  I also got to go on the zip line and it was majorly cool.  Another day we were out on canoes.  We had canoe races that were fun.   We also had crafts, secret sister gifts, mail time, challenges, flag ceremonies, camp songs and so much all around great FUN.  The camp ended with a special fireside hosted by our Bishop where we all wrote a bad habit or obstacle we want to get over on a balloon and then let our balloons go.  It was all about "Arising and Shining Forth".

Then we each had an opportunity to share our feelings about each other and about the gospel of Jesus Christ.  Most of us were in tears after that (happy tears), and then we ended with a "Hug Line".  Overall, it was an amazing experience that I will always treasure.  It was fun to be there with my daughter too!

I went to girls camp as a youth and I've gone as an adult in Oregon to help with crafts, but this was my first year going as the actual Camp Director who planned it and helped run it.  The other leaders were incredible and we met the goals we had set for it.  I am so thankful that I could go and be involved in this!  I'm thankful that I was physically up to the challenge as well.  I feel such love for each of those girls!

I came home utterly exhausted... emotionally and physically.  My body involuntarily crashed and went unconscious for 14 hours!  I did not stay on plan during camp and I feel bloated and yucky.  I do not like how I feel physically.  I can't wait to get back into a better eating and exercising schedule.  I really missed my basketball too.

And this next week is also not my own week.  Right now, my life is NOT MY OWN.  I have so much computer work, prep for our after camp party on Wednesday, Relief Society work, meetings, family things, house cleaning, and Thursday through Saturday I'm gone on another camping trip for youth conference - this time in actual costumes the whole time.  I have not a moment for myself.

I am so blessed, I know... but today I am missing my mother.  I miss having that soft place to fall.  Being "new" here wears on me.  I don't have the roots of friendships that so many around me do of people who really "know" me and truly care for me.  I know that all I really need is my Savior and so I seek to feel His love.  And today I just feel depleted.  I feel like I have given all I have lately... and many of my church friends I work with also have full plates - yet THEY have friends and family who notice that and uplift them.  They have incredible support systems.  I feel so alone!  I am very alone, it's just how it is.  The other week I tried opening up to a friend about how hard it really was for me here and it totally backfired.  I have to be careful what I say and to whom I share, I guess.  But I know that I am known to my Savior!  I have been pleading to feel His love and acceptance today.

And with that I bid you Adieu!  

Life is good.  Stay on Plan.  Focus on the Positive.  :)

Much love, 

~Margene  XoxOxO 

Never Been Like This

I just have to say that I have NEVER BEEN This BUSY in my ENTIRE LIFE!!!

Is that a good thing?  Well, MOST of what I'm busy with is family or church service related so I guess it's a good thing.  It's exhausting!  But in many ways I LOVE it!  I love meeting people and being an influence for good and positive change where I can be.

This month was my birthday!  I turned 44!  Dang, that sounds SOO much older than I feel.  But I focused on the number FOUR and had a celebration with FOUR of us (me and 3 pals), and we went and had a FABULOUS hike up to Stewart falls!  It was pretty easy, only an hour each way and the waterfall was incredible!  The path was mostly shaded and not crowded at all.  We ate some snacks at the falls and enjoyed the wonderful views.

It was a beautiful day too!  Then we came back to a meal that I was craving:  Sweet Pork Nacho's and fresh fruit!  Yes, I was saving my calories for such a wonderful birthday meal.  I got the sweet pork from Costa Vida and my daughter had it all ready for us by the time we got back.

 Then we each wore FOUR crazy items:  fake arm tattoo, fake mustache, fake ring, and fake hair extension.  We were set up for lots of laffing and playing games.  We played one of my favorites:  Spoons, and also White Lies, Farkle, and Scum.  It was fun just to be zany!

We ended with banana splits choosing from FOUR different kinds of ice cream and FOUR different kinds of toppings.  It was pretty EPIC!  I feel so thankful to have friends I can celebrate with.  It wasn't an exclusive party by any means... I would love to have had a ton of friends over... but just felt I'd stick to a small number  this time and focus on FOUR.  (I wasn't up to hosting a large group this time, but anther time - yes!)

It was ONE YEAR ago on my birthday that we PULLED our moving Truck and loaded down GMC into our new house and neighborhood here.  We didn't know a single soul here!  We arrived completely broke!  We were packed so tight, we had left a bit of our furniture and items because they just didn't fit.  So now it's been a full year and I actually have awesome friends and neighbors to celebrate with!!  Brent was so nice to let me have this day. :)

Right now my life is FULL of Girls Camp Planning and work (we go next week), Relief Society Planning & all that contains, Family errands & needs, Computer Work, Late nights.... AND.... BASKETBALL.  Seriously, that's the ONE THING I just do for myself.  I try to get a run in when I can too.  It is SO fun to play basketball with the ladies here.  We have so much fun and are so comfortable with each other yet play aggressively - and my daughter joins us most of the time which I absolutely LOVE.  

There are big trials, some drama, hurt feelings, issues that crop up and things that bring me down... and I will say that  my life is also quite HARD and downright more CHALLENGING than ever right now.

BUT, my life is also SOOOO GOOOOD!

I think because I do struggle with certain things,
it makes the good times and blessings SOOO much sweeter to me!

And I know I can do hard things.
And so can YOU!

Much Love and Warmest Wishes to you!!

XoxoXO ~Margene

I'm a Hobbler Halfer!!

Today was the HOBBLER HALF Marathon.... or should I say yesterday since it's after midnight.  TODAY (or yesterday) will go down in Margene History Forever!!

It started two nights ago when I went with my running buddy to her sisters house to stay the night so we could have an early start to our race.  We had picked up our race bag and shirts and came back and played games and watched an episode of "The Office" where they do a Fun Run - so funny.  I had all my stuff layed out and ready to go.  I had Joy's rock she gave me "Because of you... I can do hard things" and kept it in my pocket the whole time.  

Then we went to bed and got up at 3:45am to head out by 4am to get the shuttle by 4:30am to take us up into the canyon to the starting line.

4am - heading out to catch the shuttle to the starting line

I originally was very nervous but became less so as it got closer.  Then we started and the race began at 6:30am.  It didn't take long for me to feel overwhelmed at how long we were really going to run.  You know, those mind games!!  We started at a faster pace but I had to slow it down so I could last.  But we visited like we normally do on our runs and had the AMAZING scenery of the canyon, plus the sun wasn't even on us yet.

It was mostly downhill with some uphills here and there.  And to be honest, I was getting some good aches and pains which tempted me to walk - but I didn't give in.  Around the 10 mile mark, I suddenly saw my GIRLS and HUSBAND on the road CHEERING ME ON!!  My girls were holding up a sign that said "Go Mom" "We love you".  It really gave me the boost I needed.  I was so surprised and happy to see them and so was my buddy!!

Those last 3 miles were the most challenging for me and also the most meaningful!  I thought about my parents and the thought came specifically to my mind about how proud my mom would be of me.  I thought of the things my mother struggled with and how she might feel watching me run.  It brought tears to my eyes.  I felt SO THANKFUL that I COULD run!  I will never forget how I used to feel and how grateful I am for how the Lord has blessed me.  I felt thankful for my family and thankful for my running buddy who has become a dear friend.  We ran for a mile or so in silence and I then hit play on my Ipod and "I'm Coming Out" by Diana Ross began playing.  That was the song that took me into the finish line!  We ran it in 2 hours and 46 minutes.  BOOYA!!

My hubs and girls were there to greet us and it was an amazing feeling to realize that I ran that without stopping!  It was pretty surreal feeling.  We got to enjoy a free breakfast from Magelby's right there and also a Free Massage.... which felt SO good for my aching calves.

Now I am tired beyond words... I really need to get better sleep at night and I still have a lot of goals and things I need and want to be doing.  But it does feel wonderful to have accomplished this!  Brent gave me the biggest hug and it feels good to have him feel so proud of me.  He more than anyone knows where I have come from and he's loved me through everything.  I feel so thankful for a supportive and loving husband!  And now I must go to bed.  God bless you in your pursuits! 

Never give up!  

Life is GOOOOD. 

XOXoxoXo ~Margene

June Update

Hey friends! 

Happy June already.  Dang!!!  Where does the time go?  It would take a super LOOOONG post to update everything that I would really like to, and no one wants to really sit through that... so maybe I can do a FAST run through.

1. I went to my parents grave on Memorial day with my daughters and sister .(first time since I've lived in Utah).  It was SO nice.  Here I am with my sista!

2. The wind decided that we needed to collect tumbleweeds... which are exotic here in Utah!  They actually filled our porch and we had to kick them away just to get out of our house!

3. My daughter marched and played flute in her first parade - pretty sweet!

4. I was called as Relief Society President in my church (apparently, they don't realize how immature I am) which requires a lot of time - but I'm excited to serve.

5. Our dog had TWO puppies.  They are SOOO cute.  They just opened their eyes last week.  Miniature Dachshunds.

6. Three nephews have gotten married this month!  One in Oregon, One here, and one in Texas!

7. My brother who's lived in Texas for 12 years is moving here to Utah and will be fairly close to us now!!!

8. I've continued to run 2-3 times a week... up to 8 and then a new record 9.4 miles!  My half marathon is in less than TWO weeks (July 7th).  Booya!!!

9. My oldest son FINALLY got a job!!!!  He really needed that and we're so thankful!

10. I survived a FIRE on the mountain just a couple miles from our home - just last week! (and didn't have to evacuate).  Huge blessing... and it was quite an amazing display at night!


That about sums it up.  I have a terrific running buddy, and there is a group of us who play basketball 3 times a week.  SOOO fun!  I also still get to go to girls camp next month with all the young women in our church which is cool.  Life is good... it's just so crazy busy. 

I have had some amazing ups and some devastating downs just in the last few short weeks.  I am thankful to be busy and needed here in Utah... and I still do miss my friends in Oregon and think of them SOO often, but I'm thankful for the family I have here.  One of my brothers came through town and while he was here all the other siblings here joined for get together at my house... five of the seven of us!  So cool!!

My friend, Joy from Nuggets of Truth in Oregon, sent me a WONDERFUL surprise box with some goodies from the Hippie Chick half marathon that I was supposed to have run.  She sent me a card, hat, sunglasses, lotion AND a rock for me too that says "Because of you... I can do hard things"  That really made my day and gave me a boost I needed.  Thanks so much Joy!!  How wicked cool is that!!? I wore my NEW HAT on my record 9.4 mile run too!!!  Because I can do hard things!!!!

 

Life is GOOD

~Margene

 

Dance Dare #3 - My Mother's Day Weekend

Hey Super Cool People in Blogland!

So the other weekend WOULD HAVE been the weekend of my first Half Marathon - taken place in Oregon... HOWEVER (those following my blog know what happened), instead we went on an AWESOME family camping trip.

It was SOOO needed and SOOO nice.  We procured a used tent trailer and headed out.  I was NOT going to feel sorry for myself and waste the weekend.  I don't know about other mom's out there, but often Mother's Day is hard for mom's.  Especially since losing my own mother so long ago - it's often been a hard holiday.  But I've learned that if I don't like something in my life, that I can CHANGE it.  I am thankful to BE a mother of four amazing kiddos!

We were able take some of our bikes and we camped by a beautiful lake.  My daughter and I climbed the nearby mountain for an amazing full vista view of the area.  The rocks were different shades of orange and brown making the area so vibrant.  We rode our bikes around the lake through little pathways barely big enough to walk, we paddled boats on the lake, played games in the trailer, celebrated my baby's 12th birthday, played with his Nerf guns throughout the camp, climbed some big trees, and took a ton of fun pictures.

I also wanted to shout out a big THANK YOU to Holly at 300 pounds Down for her kind comments and highlighting me on her blog post!  That was truly touching to me. 

I recently started a gratitude journal and it really helps me be focused every day on the rich blessings of my life.

Life is truly to be celebrated.  

Even when there is tragedy, there is ALWAYS something GOOD to find.

I've been LOVING my new running buddy and we've been getting out 2-3 times a week for 3-6+ mile runs.  I've got girls camp this summer with my girls and the other young women from our church and that's going to be awesome.

And of course MY FIRST HALF-MARATHON in July.  Woo Hoo!  

I hope I can rock it like my friend Joy has!!! :)

I CAN do Hard Things... and SO CAN YOU!

What are you looking forward to this summer?

Today, I put together my third Dance Dare Video for those who may want a giggle at my expense.

LIFE IS GOOD!

Poem Video - Change Your Life?

My daughter wrote a poem that I thought was amazing.

So we made it into a video.

If you watch it, be sure to watch it all the way through.

We had a fun Mother's Day weekend and I have much to share - will blog about it tomorrow.

ENJOY!

~Margene

Beauty is where you LOOK for it

I LOVED living in Oregon.  

The trees and greenery and flowers and beauty are everywhere.  You can see retail stores on one side of the street and a forest on the other!  One of my favorite parks called Rood Bridge Park had a few miles of paved and unpaved trails, tons of trees, creek with a running stream and little bridges, dense forest, open grass, pavilion, and playground.  It was just so cool.  I did a lot of my runs when training for my first 5k at that park.  Great for bike rides, cub scout pack meetings, easter egg hunts, photo shoots, and catching tadpoles in the pond.  I couldn’t imagine leaving such a place.  

One of the houses we lived in was right next to a thicket of 50+ foot tall pine trees.  When our windows were open, the birds and sounds we’d hear made us feel like we lived in the forest.

The view here in Utah is different.  
It’s not as green or lush, and not near as many trees.  

However, the mountains are tall and stellar and stand like sentinel guards surrounding the valleys.  They are breathtakingly gorgeous.  One can peer from one end of the valley clear to the other.  The sky is so blue and so close, it feels like you can reach up and touch it.  And there are rocks.  Carved, chiseled, and enamored with colors; there are so many rocks in every size you can imagine.

We live on the edge of our own little frontier.  There are paved roads that end in dirt roads.  There are two wheeled trails that turn into a single trail.  There is SO much to explore and I want to explore it all... on foot or on a bike or on an ATV.

So the other day, I got the hubs and my boys to come with me and we traveled down a dirt road we haven’t been down before, next to the mountain in our valley.  We discovered a road that went in a little canyon and behind the mountain that could only be traveled on with a vehicle like our suburban.  At one point I couldn’t help but stop and get out and suggest we climb up part of the rocky mountain to get a view.  

What started out as a  little stroll turned into climbing that whole mountain!  It was rocky and there was a single little trail and for part of it - I even RAN up.  I LOVED the fact that my body could run up a rocky mountain!!  You cannot even tell how high up we really were but it was pretty stoic and surreal.  

 

My 11 year old son kept going and wanting to go higher.  

And we were rewarded with a MAGNIFICENT view of the valley.  It was INCREDIBLE.  

We could see our group of homes like tiny dots off to the far right.

After what seemed like hours we were back down and driving out of the canyon when the cows that were grazing around decided to stand in the road.  This particular calf stood it’s ground with us, staring us down.  I’d move little close, it would back off but but stay in the road.  

Call it courage, or maybe just stupidity... 
but what a curious and questioning little cow!  
I find that beautiful!


I feel like I’m looking at the world through different eyes than I once did.  
I feel like I am experiencing the world.  
I love nature!

Life is Beautiful!  But only when you LOOK for it!

Where do YOU find beauty?

You would NOT have seen me do this 2 years ago!!

Being heavy has held me back SOOOO much over the years - the majority of my adult life!

It's made me fearful of being in front of people, cower to try anything new, shy away from social settings, fail to make significant friendships, push my family away and in general have a negative depressing view of myself and life in general.

Is ice cream, brownies, cookies, and overeating worth all that?

NO WAY!

It's SO DANG FUN to let myself be "ME".

So, being ME, and hearing of the challenge of "Dance Dare's"... I knew I had to do it.  

A Dance Dare is where you dance behind an unsuspecting person or persons without being seen by them - and of course capturing it all on video.  

Ellen Degeneres highlighted many of these on her show, and after watching some of them, I knew I wanted to give it a try.

It was actually quite scary the first time or two.  It's not as easy to do as I was thinking.  But it was WAY FUN.

So if you want to laugh with me or at my expense... here are my first two dance dares!!!  And let me know if YOU do any cuz I'd love to see them too! ;)

ENJOY
(Note - the wise screen effect makes us look bigger than we are!)

Dance Dare #1  (Margene and daughter)




Dance Dare #2 (Margene, friend and daughter)

Color Me RAD

Last Saturday was the Color Me Rad 5k run!  Wow, I think this is going to become a tradition.  My daughter and my friend and I all did this together.  We ran and walked (it was more important to me to share this experience with my ladies than to run it the whole way through which I could have easily done).

All clean and white before the run - holding our color packs.

 It was super fun!!  And my friend's first 5k ever.  She did fantastic!  And I always LOVE having my daughter join me on stuff like this.  I'm such a lucky mom!

Me and my girl - Don't mess with us! ;)

Brent is ROCKIN' the plan and LOST 9 Pounds last week.  

BOOYA to him! 

He's been really making that effort to stick to plan now.  I'm so thankful he's in a place right now to be able to do that.  We are going to run a 5K together in July.  It'll be super sweet!  Love my man.

I think I've turned a corner as far as my "train wreck" situation below.  Making that video "Love Never Fails" was really healing for me and allowed me to express my love to my family and friends - and to feel it as well.  I really appreciate all the comments and encouragement I have received, and especially the prayers in my behalf - thank you!!  Sharon's comment really hit me - and I think she was inspired.  Thanks Sharon!  I've never gone through anything like this before and it really is the most hardest and painful thing -  YET because of where I've come from already and SEEING what the Lord has done for me, I KNOW so much more now WHO I really am and that HE does really love and help me.

I will NOT turn to food for comfort.

I will NOT berate myself.

I WILL look for my blessings EVERY DAY.

I WILL adopt and ATTITUDE of GRATITUDE.  :)

Grateful people are Happy People!

(It's funny how my blog becomes my own pep talk!)  

Whatever you are facing... FACE it with FAITH and COURAGE!

Life is GOOOOOOOD!!

~Margene XoXoxOxO

I gave in!

I've been keeping busy and keeping myself occupied. 

But These last two days I hit a wall.  And I gave in. 

  

I didn't give in to any junk food or off-plan food, actually my appetite is not there much. 

  

I submitted to my heartache and sorrow from my recent train wreck.  It's been two days full of raw emotion.  God knows all the effort and changes in my life I've made to do and be a better person and how I have been putting the feelings of others ahead of my own.  He knows!!  

So why do I have to be blindsided (again) from someone so dear to me?  It was aimed purposely at my weakest spot.  I honestly cannot think of a single thing I have done that was mean, out of line, offensive, overdone, smothering, or wrong.  How can someone throw a true friend away?  Aren't friendships worth fixing?  I am treated like I am an enemy.   Like there is nothing good about me to warrant any kind of contact with me.

Yet, it's not even an option for me to be bitter against her because I don't want to go that route.  Maybe I miss a friend that was never really my friend.  I will need Divine help to find peace or healing from this.

As this situation has left me feeling so cold, unwanted and unloved - I've been grasping for the love that my Savior has for me.   I've thought of my parents on the other side of the veil, and how surely they are watching me and would comfort me if they could.  And my own loving husband who has always been there for me, I know he loves me.  I do have people who stand by me and haven't just walked away.  

I've been listening to a song called "Love Never Fails" by Mercy River.  This song seems to speak in music, what my heart feels.  I know that Love is what really matters. Love is what will come through in the end.  I want to fill my heart with love, not with sorrow.  I feel SO much love, joy, and happiness for each of family and friends - including my blogger friends.

Today, I made a video to this song "Love Never Fails" because I felt like the song could say what my heart cannot.  That I'm CHOOSING the path of love. I'd like to share that video in this post - I think it's worth watching.  I've dedicated it to my parents, my family, and all my friends!

I want to live with NO REGRETS. 

I want to live my life showing my love to others.  

I always regretting not showing my love to my mother and then she passed away.  And that didn't hurt her as much as it has hurt me.  With-holding our love from others really hurts US in the end.
  

So, NO REGRETS.   

Forgive those that hurt me.   

Forgive myself.
Move on.

Life is GOOD

~Margene