I love being a mom! I love it that my kids are older now and I can have meaningful conversations with them and do fun stuff together. Last Friday, my daughters and I went and saw the new Twilight movie (Breaking Dawn part 1). I do have to say, that there was some parts I had them cover their eyes... poor planning on my part for not researching before we went. However, we did have a fabulous gals night out together... shopping at the thrift store and running through the falling snow to the theater.
Which brings me to say...
We had our first SNOW here since we have moved to Utah. Here was the view Saturday morning out our back door.
It has been another one of those hard weeks for me. We were excited to have an OPEN HOUSE now that we own this home and invite all our relatives here from Utah to come. It was just last Saturday. We did a lot of little fix ups and work on the house to get ready. We painted, fixed walls, installed a door, changed out some appliances, fixed a toilet, cleaned.... it was nice to have a reason to get stuff done. And I made a bunch of little appetizers.
A delicious veggie tray with low fat dips, little smokies in a blanket from my own homemade garlic/parmesan dough, muddy buddies (that my daughter made), and this majorly scrumptious pumpkin chocolate chip cake with cream cheese frosting!
We had over 40 people committed to come, yet half way through it - only 2 had shown up. Although, we did have a few more trickle in - (and even well after the time it was supposed to be over) - it was an emotional let down for me which I didn’t expect.
It really boils down to missing my own mother. A mother shares in your joys and in your heartaches like no one else can. Sometimes it feels like such a huge hole in my life to not have my parents here! My kids could sure blossom with their attention and love. It’s hard for anyone to understand unless their parents are gone. I’ve had a relative tell me before to “get over it”... interestingly enough, this person still has their parents closeby. So, it does leave me hesitant to share how it really feels. Most people prefer to stay consumed in their own lives and problems.
Moving here to Utah and working to make a difference here, fit it, contribute at church and school, reach out and show an interest in others and in my extended family...
I really do feel emotionally DRAINED and a bit depleted this week! I need to work on filling my own bucket. I miss my friends in Oregon.... but I can’t lean on them when I am feeling lonely and un-included here. They have all moved on.
So today, although my heart is heavy and low.... I’ve recommitted myself to being STRICTLY on plan (which this past week I was not) and to drink lots of water. Both Brent and I have committed to stay ON PLAN over Thanksgiving. I refuse to turn to food for comfort. I’m having my kids eat the rest of that pumpkin cake... it’s just too good to be left alone with me. :) It’s time to focus on all my blessings which are MANY!
I feel blessed to change the course of my life so that I will be here for my children... I don't want them to suffer the loss of their mother!
How do you plan to spend your Thanksgiving?
XoxoXO ~Margene
