Sunday Musings

When I realize the gravity of the change I am making in my life, it is ASTOUNDING. It is SO much more than shedding pounds to me. I made a goal this year to put the past behind me and truly move on. That is really my greatest challenge. I have been struggling the last TWO years over a very painful situation. My heart has truly been broken and I have been left with no real closure or understanding. It’s been the most painful experience of my life so far. I have struggled my way to “move on” and feel better. Yet often I have been caught up again in feelings of sorrow, confusion and loss. I decided a while ago to put this situation in the Lord’s hands and just trust Him.

So, for my own emotional well-being, and that of my family – I made an official goal to put this painful event behind me and ALL other past events that have been hurtful to me and LET IT ALL GO. If I trust the Lord than I need to believe that the future is brighter than the past. My goal to lose my weight is also “LETTING GO” of my weight. I have been carrying around extra weight for 25 years and with it I’ve been carrying around all my sorrows and heartaches. It has been a struggle to feel happy and I am a very cheerful, fun –loving person inside! I have made myself a victim and a martyr (not consciously), and it’s all changing this year.

I was reading today in a book called “Finding the Angel Within” which is a sequel to the book “Running with Angels” written by Pamela H. Hansen who was obese and writes about her journey to become healthy again. I loved her first book so I had to get her second one. Anyway, she was talking about repentance. We usually associate repentance with needing to repent when we’ve sinned or done something really bad. But the definition of repentance (from the Bible Dictionary) refers to “a change of mind, ie, a fresh view about God and about oneself, and about the world… a turning of the heart and will to God.” She goes on to say, “As we turn our hearts and will to God, we are then able to change the way we feel about ourselves, and we are on the road of repentance.”

I guess I could call my journey, a journey of repentance! I am changing my mind to no longer be self-loathing. I am changing my ways to take care of my body and myself. I am worth that! I am choosing to forgive others – even when I feel bitterly betrayed. I will let it go. I have only been hurting myself by continually remembering and analyzing all the injustices I’ve experienced in my past… and I’ve only been hurting myself by overeating and holding on to my weight! This is all hard to admit openly, I am usually a private person, but I wanted to write it down to show myself that I know I need to repent and make these changes so that I can BE happier and BE there for those who need me and love me.

I know reaching these goals won’t be easy, BUT I can feel the Lord helping me, and I already feel so much lighter and freer! And when I get thinner, I will never forget how I felt being obese and the struggle I’ve gone through! It will make it so much sweeter to have reached my goal… BOTH goals, physically and emotionally!

Our SECOND week

We've been eating better and on TSFL plan for 2 weeks now. We are in the fat burning stage and I lost 5 pounds this week, and my husband lost 6 pounds! That brings us both to an even 14 pounds lost each!! No one can really tell I've lost 14 pounds yet but I can FEEL a difference! It's not a major difference but it's little things like:

* my back doesn't hurt as bad when I'm bending over

* I seem to be slightly more flexible in moving my body around

* my watch band doesn't seem as tight on my wrist

* I feel a little less tired.

I still have a long way to go but this is an awesome start!!

For snacks, I've found that I like to make "Knox Blox" which are firm squares of sugar free jello. I just have several little blocks of those and savor them in my mouth and it's a yummy treat in between a meal.

I am learning that I was eating WAY TOO BIG of portions before. I had conditioned my body and my stomach to think it needed more food than it does. Now, I am having to re-teach myself that smaller, healthy portions are good and I'm not going to starve.

You really have to be ready to make a change like this. You have to prepare your mind that you are going to do it! Our doctor suggested a good book for us to read and it has been really helpful. It's about preparing your mind before you even start a change (any diet change) and if you follow it, your lifestyle and eating change will be permanent. It's called The Beck Diet Solution and I would highly recommend it for anyone who is planning to make a diet change in their life (especially to lose weight!)

Here was my L&G meal tonight. So good!

I had this pre-cooked chicken burger from Costco,

1 cup of lettuce, 1/2 cup cucumbers, and a small tomato -

with Walden Farms Itallian dressing (sugar free, fat free,

and calorie free!)

I am all for QUICK - and these chicken burgers from

Costco taste great and we just heat them up on the skillet!

And look at that: Only 3 carbs & 140 calories per patty!

These patties come in the refrigerated section (not frozen). YUM!

First Week Losses

Well, we finished our first week on our new lifestyle (don't want to call it a diet) and I lost 9 pounds!! WOO HOO!! My honey lost 8 pounds. I think that's the first time I lost more than him! It was a little bit hard the first week because I felt hungry quite a bit. I am used to having larger portions and the medifast meals seem small to me but I am confident that my body will adjust. I know I am getting all the nutrients I need and I've been drinking LOTS of water. I can feel some differences already.

I'm excited to keep this going. I know I can do this. Cheating or eating things off this plan is NOT an option for me. I'm not punishing myself... I simply do not want to sabotage myself and so I'm choosing a better way for me right now. I still get my chocolate fix too!

Here is my favorite "Lean and Green" meal I've had this week.

This is 5 ounces of pre-cooked seasoned beef strips from Costo, with sauteed mushrooms (1/2 cup), green peppers (1/2 cup), and zucchini (1/2 cup). It is SO good and I feel very full after eating this since all my other medifast meals are much less food than this. I treat myself to crystal light to drink. I love my "Lean and Green" meals!

This was my Lean and Green meal tonight:

Left over wild salmon (5 ounces), with asparagus (1 cup), and a small tomatoe (1/2 cup). The measurements are sometimes my best guess. This was the first time I've cooked asparagus and I steamed it in a new microwave bowl. I need to learn how to cook it to perfection. I put a few squirts of a ranch vinaigrette spritzer on the veggies. I couldn't even finish this whole plate before I felt too full.

Tomorrow is the end of our second week and we'll see how much we've lost. :)

The Story

This is me and my husband right before we got married - over 21 years ago!

The STORY:

We're happily married, in our forties, and we're both obese. Yes, I said it: OBESE. I hate that word but I have to face it because it's the truth. We KNOW we've needed to lose weight, we've tried many programs including Nutri-systems, Jenny Craig, The Atkins Diet, The South Beach Diet, The 6-Week Body Makeover and others. We have always gained even more weight back. We have four children and it's like our lives are at stake. The future of our children is at stake. So we have asked ourselves over and over: Do we keep living like we are, or do we take take back our lives? And if so, how?

The SOLUTION:

After seeing my good friend lose over 100 pounds in 6 months, we have decided to try: "Take Shape For Life" using the Medifast 5 and 1 plan. We will eat 5 Medifast "meals" a day and 1 "Lean and Green" meal a day, which is basically a portion of lean meat and vegetables. This is the plan with WILL work for us. We are COMMITTED (and I don't mean to the funny farm). This is the year we WILL take back our lives. We are so sure of it, that I am starting this blog so we can monitor our progress and maybe even be a source of motivation for someone else. Watch us transform our lives!

GETTING STARTED:

So here are our "Before pictures"

Feb. 7th, 2010 My Hubby at 300 lbs.

Feb. 7th, 2010 Me at 280 lbs

We are NOT happy with our physical condition! I hate my double chin!!!! Hate may be too weak of a word, really. My tummy gets in the way of everything... I bump into people with it, and I don't have a lap because of it. My back gets tired from carrying such a big belly and it's hard to ever pick anything up off the ground, especially when I'm sitting. I worry about fitting into booths at restaurants or breaking chairs. There is practically never a time that I don't feel self-conscious. I haven't felt beautiful for so many years, that I have forgotten what it feels like. This is NO WAY to LIVE!! I look at these pictures and they just aren't us. This doesn't reflect the real me inside. I'm excited to get to the point where I really look and feel like my true self, and I believe that it WILL happen THIS year.

IT'S TIME TO CHANGE!!!