That I have been on was 9th grade basket ball in high school when I was 14 years old! There I am number 31 on the left.
I LOVED basketball, thanks to my 5 big brothers (as well as baseball, camping, playing outside, bike riding... and most things “tom boy” style). But I was so extremely lacking confidence. I spent the whole season debating if I should quit. I felt like the mis-fit of the team and it was shortly after this time that I started gaining my weight and nurturing my self-loathing thoughts and habits...
BUT
It has always been my favorite sport.
SO
Finally... 28 years later, I played me some BBALL! With my knees wrapped up and a few quick prayers (social anxiety) I made myself go to our church’s women’s basketball night. I was one of 5 women that showed up and we played some FULL COURT scrimmaging 3 against 2. WOW, does that get the heart pumping and it was dang fun! Yes, I sucked... I missed most baskets except for one here or there... but I was guarding like a hawk. Defense was always my fort-ay, because I am a shorty at 5’3” (you’d think I’d pick a better sport to love). I'm the one on the right.
The tall lady in the middle is a friend I've known for years and she bragged me up about losing all my weight. That was nice. Feels SO good to be able to play and run. I felt so alive! All these ladies have 3-4 kids each and they are GOOD players. I feel inspired to keep playing and get good again.
As far as food. I’ve been back to my plan this week. Today, I splurged off a little but from Monday - Wednesday I was pretty self-disciplined. My weight tipped up over 140 at the beginning of the week but was down again today to 137. I will be monitoring myself and learning what I can and can’t eat to maintain my weight in the 130’s.
It must be a huge fear for every morbidly obese person who looses their weight... that fear that you’ll gain it back. It is a strong fear for me. It’s like when I eat something sugary and high calorie Or I just eat too huge a portion - I can feel my stomach bloated and yucky. I instantly feel like I’ve gained it all back again right then. It is truly terrifying. Even though I know I haven’t, the yucky feeling inside makes me FEEL like I have. Mind games... gotta learn to control the thoughts. And forgive mistakes so I can move on and not keep making the same ones. It’s all in the journey!
This week I made some tuna steaks using this recipe. Yum! (Yes, I’m in maintenance so I treat myself to pineapple now). Also, I like these teriyaki chicken from Costco (pre-cooked). Great to put on my salad - fast and simple and tasty.
Take care my friends!! Life is good!
XoXOxo ~Margene
Congratulations on playing your first BBall scrimmage after so many years. That is terrific!
ReplyDeleteI think that fear that we will gain our weight back will fade somewhat as we continue to maintain. However, I don't believe it will ever disappear. We are the sum of who we have been, but the more we experience the joy of doing new and physical things the more likely we are to continue to maintain. It just feels too good! Right?
Margene you do need to forgive yourself. I have that same fear of gaining the weight back and the sad thing is I havent even reached my goal and I am already worrying about gaining it back. Mind games for sure. But you are looking great and just know you have learned so much on this weight loss journey and you are not the same woman you were when you started. Remember you are never alone in this journey. Sorry I talked to much. But I can so relate to this issue. God Bless
ReplyDelete"Feels SO good to be able to play and run. I felt so alive! "
ReplyDeleteWow, that was so motivating to read about you playing BBall, and how you felt. Thank you for continuing to share your journey with us!
Great job on the court--getting out there is half tha battle right?! And you had fun which is more important than making a ton of baskets.
ReplyDeleteI understand your fear, often feel it myself. But you won't gain it back, besides having better control now you have the power of prayer!
Have a great weekend and thank you for the encouraging words on our upcoming new edition. HOw does the name Frankie sound?xoxo
YEAH!!!! I am thinking next fall/winter I am going to see about volleyball again. I can wrap my knee and play. A bit carefully but I so want to do that again.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the great work and good luck next week on your training and then your run.
Have a blessed and great weekend.
B-BALL? Now that one would scare me too! So proud of you for pushing through. You are a stong woman! Can't wait to see you this week!! Keep on running!!
ReplyDeleteStay focused!