Week 29 ~ Crazy

Last week I lost 1 pound and my hubs lost 3 pounds!

So that brings ME to 90 lbs GONE! SWEET!! I am hoping to get into the 180's by the end of this week.

It really has been a crazy week for us with major decisions coming up that would change the future of all our lives, and trying to prepare for my son's Eagle in time, my daughter (who's never done any sport) trying water polo, having a BIG Yard Sale and majorly downsizing and simplifying our lives, trying to get our DJ business going, trying to reduce our expenses, trying to sell our car and buy a van (so we all can fit in a vehicle), trying to prepare for school next week (which hasn't happened yet), needing to connect with a friend in need, and the list goes on and on! It's all good stuff, really, but it can feel quite overwhelming.

Honestly, right now I am missing my sister and family closer around me... or having a good friend or two who would be interested in me and my family... who I could talk to. (Who would actually call me). I feel very isolated, although I know I am not. It's a lie that I've believed (from satan) for so many years that I am insignificant, unwanted, and even a burden in other's lives. Then, when certain things happen, it just reinforces that belief. And a lot of things have encouraged me to believe that lie. It brings me incredible heartache at times. It's like looking at the color blue and trying to convince yourself that it isn't really blue even though everything about it appears to be blue - yet it is a deception.

But my husband has been helping me so much and he is my best friend. I am so thankful for him and his loving nature towards me. Too bad I can't just be with him on a deserted island somewhere!

I have made a new web page called www.MargenesLeanandGreens.com which I have a link to now on the sidebar of this blog. This is where you can see pics of my lean and green meals altogether. Well, I am off with a FULL PLATE today (no pun intended). Have a wonderful, Healthy week, my friends!!

What Difference Does 89 Pounds Make??

What Difference Does 89 Pounds Make??

(I admit... I cried while writing this - words alone can't express what it's like "coming out of prison"!)

1. I can go on amusement park rides with my kids!
2. I can handle long walks and climbing hills without panicking
3. I can sleep on my back or tummy!
4. I can bend down and tie my shoes!
5. I have a lap!!
6. I can cross my legs when sitting!
7. I can ride my bike!
8. I can roller skate!
9. I can climb a big ginormous sand cape!
10. I can fit in any car’s seat belt
11. I can hug my man closer - and my kids too!
12. I can feel like I’m NOT the fattest person everywhere I go
13. I can feel more in control of my body and health.
14. I can live longer and not die at age 56 like my mother and her mother!
15. I can feel more self-worth!
16. I can let go of the fear that my kids are embarrassed by me (at least due to my weight, tee hee)
17. I can stop being self-conscious and focus more on the needs of those around me.
18. I can offer support and encouragement to others.
19. I can let go of the limits to my goals and dreams!
20. I can feel good about the way I look - I can even feel beautiful!
21. I can see the good in others now that I see it more in myself! (this is huge!)
22. I can “run and not be weary” and “walk and not faint”

What else do I want to do as I continue my journey?

1. I want to have Optimal Health for the rest of my long life!
2. I want to be a good example to my kids of being fit and healthy
3. I want to BE THERE for my kids through all their joys and sorrows of life
4. I want to be able to run - I want to be a runner and do a 5k, then a 10K and more.
5. I want to have the strength, endurance and skill to go for long bike rides - weekly!
6. I want to LOVE exercising and moving and make it part of my daily life
7. I want to jump from a plane with my man
8. I want to travel and explore beautiful and new places
9. I want to go hiking, backpacking, and camping often with my family
10. I want to learn ballroom dancing w/ my man
11. I want to learn hip hop dancing w/ my man
12. I want to continue to learn about good nutrition and try new healthy foods & veggies
13. I want to be open to try all kinds of new things that I’ve never done before!
14. I want to face all my fears (although maybe not all at once)
15. I want to get used to doing something out of my comfort zone each day - until it becomes the norm.
16. I want to make optimism, cheerfulness, and enthusiasm be my norm.
17. I want to embrace life instead of fearing it
18. I want to motivate, inspire and uplift others
19. I want to help others feel this good.
20. I want to become the woman that God wants me to be

Week 28 - Coming Out of Prison

I lost 5 pounds last week!!!! And my man lost 2 pounds!!

BOOYA!!

(Notice how this is the exact reverse of last weeks results where I lost 2 and he lost 5)

I know I had a bigger loss this week because I really worked on being more true to the program. I am back to measuring my portions and not rationalizing eating any foods that are off plan. I already know this plan works so I am sticking to it. I want to get the rest of this weight off my body and then I can transition into more options. It’s all GOOD!

Can anyone possibly understand how a person just released from prison would feel? To finally have the chains, bars and cuffs removed and to feel personal liberty and freedom again after it has been taken for a time.

I reflected on that thought today as I have gone over my journey. I feel as if I am slowing COMING OUT OF PRISON, and I didn’t even realize how much in prison I really have been! All the little things mean SO much when you’ve been without it for so long. Like just this last week, I was sitting by a lady who had her legs crossed and I wondered to myself if I could cross mine yet... so I tried and I could!! I had a little thrill inside because I could finally sit w/my legs crossed like other women do! I couldn’t wait to tell my hubby!

I have been in bondage to obesity for 20+ years. I have been in a personal, tormenting prison of self-loathing, endless pains, and loss of freedom. I will NEVER FORGET and I will NEVER GO BACK.

I feel like I am finally on a different path going in a different direction and it feels liberating! Isn’t it amazing how when you take control of what you eat and make better choices, it actually gives you more freedom?

I have learned in Dr. A’s book (Habits of Health) that I want my goals to be for what I WANT and not what I don’t want. Example: When we have goals like - I don’t want to be in pain anymore, I don’t want to be fat anymore, I don’t want to feel sick, etc. What happens is that as soon as you start to not have pain or not feel fat or sick (or whatever the goal is), the motivation ends and the diet or actions taken stop. Then we slip back into old habits until we feel fat or sick again and can’t take it anymore then it all starts over. Thus we get into the “yo yo” dieting where we lose and gain and it gets worse every time. This WAS me!!!

Instead, I am going to focus my goals on what I WANT. Example: I want to have optimal heath, I want to run a 5k then a 10K and more, I want to go on long bike rides a few times a week, etc. So my goals are what I want and my choices each day are going towards these goals that I am seeking. No more “yo-yoing” for me. This is IT! My life is not going to be the same as it was before!

Week 27 - My Happy Man!

Last Week I lost 2 pounds and my hubs lost 5 pounds!!! He has pushed through his hurdle of getting past that 220 range. I took his pic this morning... as he was dancing and flexing around in his glee... what a comparison. I have my happy man back!

Feb. 2010: 300 lbs / Today Aug. 2010: 210 lbs

90 pounds GONE, BABY!!!

I am learning SO much. I’ve been reading Dr. A’s Habits of Health book (the path to permanent weight control and optimal health) along with the companion guide. This is like the mental side to the losing weight which I NEED. It’s helping me learn to change my bad habits to healthy ones so that I can be and live with OPTIMAL health the rest of my life. There is SO much in this book... I wish I read it years ago. I HIGHLY recommend these books!

I’ve also learned, that on the Take Shape For Life Program (using Medifast food), I can’t rationalize my portions and sneak this and that into the plan, or I WILL drop out of “fat burning” mode. It’s calculated so specifically, with the nutrition, calories, carbs, and fat... that adding a snippet in here and there puts it off balance. The last thing I want to do is put my body in “starvation mode” where it will hold on to my fat instead of burning it. If my carbs go higher, my hunger and cravings increase and if the calories go higher, I no longer am using my fat stores to burn.

So both my man and I are RECOMMITTING to stay TRUE to this plan. Because, it WORKS!! And it’s NOT HARD to do. The Medifast food takes all the guess work out of it and they taste great. I just had let myself “eyeball” my portions (for my lean & greens) instead of measuring, and add a bite of this or that... you know how it goes. I even had some beef jerky as part of my lean the other day, even though that is not on plan at this stage. I Need to and Want to stay ON PLAN exactly... and not drag out getting this weight off. So stating this on my blog here, will help me remember and stay committed. :) And we both are very DETERMINED.

I sold a ton of my “favorite” big clothes this last week... the ones I was saving and still wearing but they are huge on me. And I am letting them go. I would give them away but right now money is tight. You should see my bare closet right now! One of the ladies I sold a ton of them to, came to my house from the bus in a motorized wheel chair. She was very big and I wanted to share this program with her and let her know her life could be better, but I sensed she wasn’t ready or interested. She left with a garbage bag filled to the brim with my clothes, holding them on her lap and by the feet of that wheel chair. But she was happy with the good deal I gave her. It was a reminder to me where I was headed, though. I remember using the wheel chair at Walmart a few times when I was too tired to walk around and in too much pain. It is hard work to be obese!! (and I still am, technically).

I had tuna for the first time on this plan. This is 2 cans (total 6 oz.) of sodium free tuna from Trader Joes with a little fat free mayo, Mrs. Dash, and some celery - along with my salad. It would taste good in a lettuce wrap, too, I think. :) Happy Weekend... How is YOUR plan going this week?

I always would watch...

... but never participate myself. Like when I took my kids to anything fun, say an amusement park or roller skating. But NO more... I'm tired of being only a spectator! Life is to be LIVED and ENJOYED and not just ENDURED!

Yesterday, we took our family to a small local amusement park (the kids all had discount coupons from the summer reading program - we go most every year)

THIS time, I got on the rides with my kids and I fit!!

I loved this one... see me with my hands and legs out... I was enjoying it to it's fullest!

The hubs was doing it all too...

On the left is a pic from us in 2008, when we came, I thought the M&M machine was my friend...

This year, I told that M&M machine to GET AWAY from me!

I sat on the rail with my son while waiting in line for the bumper cars! I sat on the rail.... I would never have done (or been able to do) that before!

The hubs ROCKED the bumper cars... Wow, do they bump!

The hubs and I went ROLLER SKATING too! Oh my... my body had forgotton what to do and I was TERRIFIED. You know when you pray every second "Please don't let me fall... Paleeeeze don't let me fall." But my man took my hand and guiding me through it until I sort of remembered. And I never fell! I haven't been roller skating for TWENTY years or more!! Now I want to go again and again and get good at it!

Here I am on the looping roller coaster again... with my son. I could pull the lap bar down easily and felt like a kid again. This was monumental for both of us as my little guy conquered his fear of the coaster, and I finally get to go again! It was our last ride of the night, and what a day to remember. I have the sore muscles this morning to remind me... sweet sweet soreness!!

6 month Stats from our journey so far...

Inches Lost: ME MY MAN

Head 1" .75"

Neck 3.5" 2"

Bust 2.5" 7.25"

Waist 9" 13"

Hips 11" 8.5"

Mid-Thigh 4.5" 3.25"

Knee 3" 2.5"

Mid-Calf 1.5" .5"

Upper Arm 3.5" 4.25"

Total Inches Lost:

39.5" 42"

BMI Start 49.6 41.8

BMI Now 35.1 30.0

Lost BMI Points:

14.5 11.8

Weight Lost:

82 lbs 85 lbs

Wow, I lost almost 40 inches off my body! That really helps put it into perspective for me. And my guy is almost in the "overweight" category instead of "obese". That is so encouraging!

WEEK 26 - 6 months now!

Yesterday I said goodbye to my dear friend I've had the last 5 years. She and her family packed up their moving truck yesterday and headed down to California. Her son is also my sons' best friend. I hope she doesn't mind that I post her picture here on our last "gals day" together, but I just wanted to share how beautiful she is INSIDE and OUT!! She has been there for me at some of my lowest moments and cheered with me at my highest ones too. I will really miss her SO much and hope she finds joy in her new adventure. :)

We have hit our 6 month anniversary on our lifestyle change using the "Take Shape For Life" program. Last week we EACH lost 1 pound. Yay, for a loss... but I am still aiming for more than that each week. I think I may have lost more if I didn't have those 3 diet soda's this week.

My Favorite Lean and green this week was a nice salad with Bolthouse honey mustard dressing, 3/4 cup cottage cheese, and our Costco Chicken patty covered with sauteed mushrooms. Oh... SO good! My kids are LOVING these Costco chicken patties (Sweet Caramelized Onion Chicken Burgers - Pic of them in one of my Feb. posts), they are in the refrigerated section and my kids eat them in a bun. When I am needing to make something quick, I pull those out.

So last friday, my man had a day off and we were fixing up our family bikes. Then we just decide to ride our bikes (without the kids) to the theater for an afternoon movie.

Back in the day, my man and I were big movie buffs and always used to go to the newest releases... even once going to 3 movies in one evening! (Okay, we were very young teens then). With movies having so much yucky stuff in them nowadays, we don't do that like we used to, but it was SO fun last Friday.

I am always wearing that top, I noticed too, since it is one of the only ones that fit me. I have a lot of my "tent shirts" and I wear them too, but they are huge on me. I can't wait until I can afford a real clothes shopping spree... but I've still got a lot I want to lose, so it's good to wait anyway. :)

I look at this pic and I see two older folks... yet inside, we are still those two crazy teens. At least now, we have hopefully learned a thing or two!!

I keep checking...

...The scale wondering if its tricking me and if this time it will be above that 200 pound mark... and so far... it's always still in Onederland. I can't tell you how victorious that makes me feel!!!

We have been having these YUMMY things: These are from the Medifast Pancake packet.

We take 2 Medifast chocolate chip Pancake packets, add 1/4 cup egg beaters, 1/2 cup water and 1 t. Baking powder... and we get 4 waffles from that (2 each meal). Then we put some heated up Walden Farms SF syrup and it tastes sinful!! What a yummy treat!

Below on the left shows a salad and shrimp Lean and Green I had the other day with fat free tarter sauce. I just sauteed the shrimp to warm it up. Nice.

For the first time yesterday, I had my Lean and Green for LUNCH! I went out with my dear friend, who is moving out of state saturday (little sniffles), and we had our last Gals Lunch together at Applebees. I had the "Peppercorn Steak" above right. I had them hold the potatoes and just give me veggies. I didn't eat the carrots (they are off plan for me right now), but enjoyed the broccoli and zucchini without butter and savored every bite of that steak!!

I quite enjoyed having my L&G for lunch. I ate the rest of my medifast meals throughout the afternoon and my last meal were two waffles my man made. I may do my L&G for lunch more often now. :)