Video Clip of myself from the past...

I've been converting my home videos to the computer and I ran across this video today. It's me opening gifts on my birthday in 2006. I haven't seen this video since it was made and I was SHOCKED to see myself. I am morbidly HUGE with that big spare tire and I almost don't have a neck with my double chin. Although at this time, I was just starting to come out of my "cave", I was also haunted by the years and years of SELF LOATHING. I honestly couldn't imagine anyone ever wanting to be my friend or hang around me. (Thus, I pretty much had no social life for 20+ years!) I didn't ever want to go out in public. The only way I did was by pretending that I wasn't fat... which made it difficult when I passed my reflection... even shocking. I never want to be this big again!!!

You may not notice in this video too, the small case of Trichotillomania I had. For YEARS I had no bottom eye lashes and was constantly massacring my eyebrows. I didn't mean to do this to myself... it's hard to explain, but I think inside, it was a physical manifestation of the disgust I had for myself. To actually get into "cutting" or other self-injurious behaviors would have been too obvious to me, and I would never do something like that. It has taken a few years but I have overcome this and I have all my lashes and brows! That is one personal battle I have conquered but it wasn't easy. It is hard and frankly embarrassing to bring all this to light, but I feel that by doing so, I am able to face these old issues head on and let go of the past me and move forward. And if anyone reading this relates to these kind of issues, I hope they would know that they can conquer this too!!

This picture of me and my son was taken just yesterday. I was very surprised because I think my face looks thinner... less of a double chin. I really do think it might be the angle again, but either way, I like this picture of me! I look happy. I look like someone that I would want to be friends with! Thankfully, I think I am more of a friend to that girl now, too!

Week 11 and still going

I am down 4 pounds this last week for a total of 46 pounds now.

My man is down 3 pounds now for a total of 51 pounds!!

I'm so happy for my guy! He has gone from size 50 pants, to 42! He went to salvation army the other day just to pick up a few clothes that don't drown him. Then he went through our closet and filled a large storage bin full of clothes that are too big for him now. His belt has been cinched up so much that it's like 1/4 to 1/3 of it is extra.

I can't say I've changed my wardrobe at all yet! Probably because most of my pants are the stretchy kind. But my main skirt is falling off me more now, as I found out when I wore it the other day. I am anxious to be able to fit in to smaller clothes!

I hope to reach that 50 pound mark here soon! I KNOW this plan works and I KNOW I will reach my goal weight. I've never felt this sure about any other diet or change I've done. This is SO easy compared to all the other attempts I've made. I used to just resign myself to the fact that I'd always be big... which would be so discouraging some days when I felt down, friendless, ugly, tired, and with all the physical pain that comes with it. I used to think that I'd never be able to do any physical activities with my kids or a billion other things. NOW, I know it is possible and it WILL happen. I hope whoever is reading this who can relate to these feelings can believe that change can happen for you too! If I can do this, then anyone can!!

Week 10 - Started First Workout!

I lost 2 pounds last week and my guy lost 3. Week 10 brings me to a total of 42 pounds lighter, and my guy to a total of 48 pounds lighter. :) I STILL say that it's hardly noticeable with me. I saw some pics of myself this weekend and I look exactly the same (to me). That just goes to show how easily I gained the weight without looking drastically different. I am SO anxious to really BE thinner!!

Here is my FAVORITE medifast lunch!! Chicken Noodle Soup with crackers. I never tire of this, it's so yummy!

My honey LOVES my muffins with the Walden Farms jelly (sugar free/fat free/ calorie free).

This week I made stuffed peppers!!!

We really enjoyed them. I even made them again for my whole family!

I browned my 1 pound of ground lean turkey and 1 pound ground lean beef and drained it. Then I added one pack of ground up medifast crackers, 1 cup egg beaters, 2 T. Italian seasonings, and approx. 1/2 cup parmesan cheese. This meat mixture makes a bunch - as you can tell, I always double recipes so I can have it later too.

I filled the peppers and put a little water in the bottom of the pan just to cover it. Bake at 350 for about 18 minutes or until pepper is tender. I sprinkled a little cheese on top the last 2 min. of baking.

It was delicious. I didn't need any salsa or added flavoring for mine.

My man enjoyed his with his hot salsa.

We also ate out at Applebees again. This time I had the weight watchers steak and grilled shrimp. I asked for no oils or butters when baking... but I wonder if they did because it tasted SO good! I want to be able to make shrimp skewers as yummy as these!

This week we also WORKED OUT for the first time since we started this lifestyle change. Now, the last time I went on the treadmill like 6 months ago, I could only get up to 30 minutes. And the most I've gotten up to is like 40 minutes. So for not going in months, I was astounded with myself...

I walked for over 53 minutes and over 2 and a half miles!!! Some of it I even had on an incline! Wow!! I guess being 40 pounds less has helped me be able to walk longer and handle more on the treadmill. I wasn't even overly tired or TOO sore the next day (just a little sore). I am SO excited about that!

Here I am feeling happy about my walking.

I am having some much appreciated success. But it isn't without many struggles. I have struggled this weekend with a heartbreak from my past. I am amazed at how powerful this trial has been over me. It brings me SO much sorrow and I fight the feelings and thoughts with all my energy and many prayers. I realize that things may not be how they seem to me and I am trying to TRUST IN THE LORD that one day I will have understanding and peace about this trial and that it will all turn out for the best in the end. Waiting until then has been a struggle, yet I know my Savior is aware of my trials and the longings of my heart and I will Trust in Him. I am truly blessed, too, and thankful for the strength the Lord gives me and for my wonderful family!!

Week 9 Results... and how to be COOL!

I lost 5 pounds this week!! That's a total of 40 pounds lost! (I almost can't believe this!)

My man is down 3 pounds for a total of 45 pounds lost!

I tried a new veggie recipe this week! I found this in a mag at the Dr. office and it looked good.

(This is actually double the recipe - you can half this to try it on a smaller scale)

Sauteed Cauliflower & Grape Tomatoes:

4 T. real bacon bits

4 T. extra virgin olive oil (divided)

1 medium head cauliflower CHOPPED (about 8 cups)

4 T. water

4 T. red-wine vinegar

2 Cups grape tomatoes, halved

4 T. chopped fresh parsley

2 T minced garlic

1/2 t. salt

1/2 t. freshly ground pepper

Add 2 T oil to pan & heat up on medium heat. Add cauliflower, cover and cook stirring occasionally, for 6-8 minutes. Add water and vinegar, cover and cook, stirring occasionally, until golden brown and tender and the liquid has evaporated, about 6 minutes more.

Add the remaining 2 T oil, tomatoes, parsley, garlic, salt and pepper. Cook, stirring, until the garlic is soft, about 3 minutes more. Serve the sauteed cauliflower with the bacon bits on top.

Each cup of this is: 124 calories, 9 g. fat, 4 g. protein, & 3 g. fiber.

The cauliflower dish is quite tasty. The tomatoes give it a "zing". My hubby enjoyed them too. A nice change from the salads. I had it with chicken and the next night with Boca burger and some Ranch dressing on top.

My coach clued me onto this dish using the pre-cooked beef strips from Costco and fresh broccoli. You heat up the strips over the stove and add some "Newmans own low-fat sesame ginger" dressing. I also mixed my broccoli in the dressing after I steamed them, for a delicious Beef and Broccoli dinner!

HOW TO BE COOL!!

Okay, I noticed right away at a Medifast convention I went to with my man and my coach before we started that everyone and their dog had a water bottle! (That is if they had a dog, it would have had a water bottle too!)

I learned pretty quickly that carrying a water bottle everywhere is COOL! Healthy, active, happy people seem to have water bottles and drink from them all the time. So I got on the band wagon right away.

We have shied away from buying the plastic water bottles and have converted several "Sobe" glass drink bottles into our "at home" water bottles. The glass is easy to stick in the DW after a couple uses so they're easier to keep clean. We have a whole shelf in our fridge just for all our glass water bottles!! (Our kids use them too).

And I LOVE these plastic ones from Costco. There is no lid to unscrew, you can just pull the trigger and the spout opens and you drink! It doesn't leak (which other water bottles I bought have) and it has a clip on it. Total winner for us. We bought two packs of them (3 come in a pack) so we can always have one ready to grab and my hubby keeps one in his car and one at work.

Meet Gloria.... Gloria is my purse! Yes, I name my purses... mostly because I started once with my kids and now whenever I get a new purse they require me to name it. It makes it easy to ask them to "get Gloria for me", or "hold on to Gloria please".

Anyway... I picked Gloria out at Fred Meyer when I was shopping with a friend. I was going to pick a pink version of this purse, but my friend (who knew about my upcoming lifestyle change) said I should pick orange because it's "NEW" like the NEW ME I am creating! I LOVE that!! And the orange made it look glorious (thus she became Gloria).

And I was THRILLED to see how my water bottle fit in Gloria's pocket... the clip perfectly at the right size to snap into the o-ring of the handle. Sweetness! I makes it SO easy to take my water everywhere!! (Now, I can be cool too!)

I want to end this post with just a quick SHOUT OUT for my coach! My hubby's medifast order got damaged on it's route to our house and thus his food shipment was put off for another week. We were running out of bars. When I told this to my SUPER COOL and FABULOUS coach, she immediately ran over some boxes of bars from her own food supply! That meant SO much to us. She also gives me so many food ideas and is just SO positive. Besides the fact that she is my coach, she is also the kindest friend who is so encouraging and generous! I feel SO THANKFUL that I saw her when I did (having lost her 100+ pounds) and was introduced to this program that is changing me and my husbands lives! You will always have my love and admiration, Latrease!!!

HEART ATTACK Scare!!

My 55 year old brother had a major heart attack last week! Thankfully, he was in the hospital just coming out of back surgery - which is what truly saved his life. They were able to wheel him right back in and put some stints in. He had 100% blockage on one, 80% blockage on another and 30% on a third. He is home and doing well and counting his incredible blessings! He's got 9 kids who are all holding on to him a little tighter now.

You know, my mother died at age 56 from heart disease, and her mother died at 56 from heart disease. I am 41 right now. Boy, is it ever time for me to WAKE UP!! It's in my genes to have my arteries build up with plaque. Even though my brother had been exercising and eating healthy for the last year (and even lost 30 lbs) he still had that heart attack. The doctor told him that because he's made those changes probably saved his life. That is isn't uncommon for people to have heart problems and NOT EVEN REALIZE how bad it is until the have a major heart attack or until it's too late. This is more evidence that making this change THIS YEAR - RIGHT NOW, is absolutely necessary!! I am SO glad I am making this change.

WEEK 8 - I'm down 3 more pounds for 35 pounds lost! My man is down 5 pounds for 42 pounds lost!

Here is a L&G I threw together. This is rotissary chicken (SO good) on top of sateed yellow squash and mushrooms. I know, that sounds like an unlikely pair but I was in a hurry and it was yummy!

This was an L&G for my man... using those boca-type crumbles mixed in with his salad and his hot salsa. He prefers the ground turkey/beef mixture to the boca crumbles but it wasn't bad.

So this is how I prep our puddings every week or two. I mostly make chocolate with a few drops of the Capella hazel nut flavoring, and banana with either no drops or added banana flavoring drops. This time I actually added some chocolate brownie drops to the banana to see if I like it. I love to eat pudding as my breakfast and I love having them already made. My husband can grab one to put in his lunch box and these little containers with lids are inexpensive and easy to clean and store.

Last night I made muffins again! (I did a double batch as the picture shows) I will post the recipe I use on the side. My hubby LOVES these. He is a bread lover and this gets him his bread fix.

Two of these muffins equals one meal and so I put two in a baggie, fresh out if the oven and then freeze them. My hubby grabs one in the morning and nukes it for like 40 seconds and then eats them on his drive to work.

Here is the newest L&G I've tried. Imitation crab meet!! I got it at Costco and had this crab salad with my favorite light Ranch dressing (Bolton). I loved it. I loved having the crunchier veggies in there too like radishes and celery along with the cucumbers, lettuce and peppers.

And this meal is my Honey's standard favorite. Yes, he does have 4 of the Morning Star sausage patties (instead of the 3) but he craves that protein and feels that his body needs it and he still loses weight even having 4 of them so more power to him! He doesn't even have dressing on his salad anymore. He just enjoys eating the veggies fresh.

I've discovered another HELPFUL HINT for myself. I chew more gum! It really helps inbetween meals to have something yummy to chew on. I am always trying new sugar free gum now where I used to only buy the peppermint or spearmint for fresh breath. Those who know me well, know I love "Trident White - Cool Colada". I call it my HAPPY GUM because you just can't chew it and not feel happy. Some others I am liking right now are: New Trident Layers (both flavors of them), Extra Fruit Sensations Strawberry Banana and Berry Pearadise, and the Orbit Mist Watermelon Spring. I'm sure there are many others that are tasty to chew. And even today in the doctors office, I read an article in a magazine that said that people who chew gum inbetween meals are more likely to eat less calories throughout the day. :)