Our Quest to change our lives began in Feb. 2010 and we lost 224 lbs. This is the story of our continuing Journey through the ups and downs of maintenance.
(For the fullest effect, begin at the beginning in Feb. 2010 using our Blog Archive on sidebar)

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Hallo's and Week 2 Back



Happy Halloween!!!

Week 2 on plan again resulted in NO Loss and No gain… we both maintained.  I anticipated that with fasting one of the days and a planned enjoyment of a birthday dessert with a friend another day.  So we are both back to being strict on plan and getting back to losing!

I went to a most inspiring and uplifting women's conference this last weekend called "Time out For Women".  It was such a nice needed break.  It was fun and edifying.  I got to listen to and meet some of my favorite people:   
 Among them Sheri Dew (2nd time meeting her), and the performing group  "Mercy River" who sang the song Love Never Fails which I made a video for and posted on here a few months ago... and they have a ton of great songs.  Epic!

This is a crazy week for me (it seems like I think that about every week now).  Although today is one of my low days.  It's one of those days that moving here feels hard.  I know how I feel isn't necessarily based on fact or truth, and that it's just a rough patch again… but dang, I miss being around people who know me.  People who know when I mess up that it doesn't reflect who I really am. 

Days like today, I feel that the sacrifice to move here feels huge, even tho we've been so blessed.  I gave up a harvest of friends and an amazing church family in Oregon.  And it's been a good move for my kids and we finally own a home again.  It's all good.  But at times I feel like a mis-fit and so completely isolated.  It's like the Lord dropped me off and said "Now, go do some good" and I'm trying.  My motivation is lacking.  I didn't go to basketball yesterday for no reason except it just didn't seem fun anymore.  And that's the one thing I do for me!

I emailed a dear friend in Oregon several days ago… telling her some of my struggles and heartaches.  She is someone who I've known for years and greatly admire.  She's been with me through my weight loss journey as well.  She wrote back to me and shared a description of me in a way I've never heard or thought of before.  It explains so much of why I struggle.  I wept while reading it because I know she understands.  Not only that, but it was overwhelming to hear her say such positive things about me.  I didn't realize how much I needed to hear that.  Here is an excerpt from her email:

"You my dear are blessed to be able to feel deeply. Actually it’s a blessing and a curse – opposition in all things. Not everyone feels deeply. More of us are light in that department. That is why so many can flit from friend to friend but you fall in love and feel the attachment in your very soul. It is a good thing, but it means that you are more prone to the pain of unreturned deep feelings from the flitterers that are out there. They love you . . . truly . . . but not quite the same depth. It’s a different perception/reality/paradigm . . . whatever you want to call it. The majority of us are shallow when it comes to feelings. You are a rare gem of the deep feeling kind. You need to accept your gift, it is so similar to the love the Savior felt for his friends when he was here on earth, but look at the pain he suffered because he loved so much. There were even those moments when HIS friends were just simply shallow and uncommitted. Accept that along with the joy of loving deeply there comes great pain and sorrow because we who flit simply are not blessed to feel as wonderfully deep as you.
It’s actually a spiritual blessing too. You also feel things spiritually deeper than a lot of people. This is what makes you an amazing servant of the Lord. You put your whole self into everything you do and others are blessed by your commitment, your own family, your ward family and your friends.
Like all things in life, there is an upside and a downside. You find what you look for. Stay positive my friend. All these trials work for your own good . . . even though you may not see it now or even for a very long time."

I know there are many out there who struggle with HUGE things, who have deep wounds to heal, who suffer every day and every hour.  I pray for you.  My heart goes out to anyone who suffers.  My own trials are but trivial compared to many others. 

Today, I'm going to count my blessings and try to do some good!  I've got 4 amazing kids that need me and who I absolutely adore & a husband who is the bomb diggety!!  There are others who need me too, and I pray I can be there and make a difference where I can.

 
Have a wonderful Halloween, my friends, 
and don't touch that candy!!!
Life is good!

~Margene xoxOXO

Monday, October 22, 2012

Weigh In / Week ONE back on plan

Yesterday was weigh in from our first week.
Me - Lost 5 pounds
Brent - Lost 9 pounds

BOOYA for my man!

I am hoping to have another good loss this week.  

However, today I am doing a 24 hour fast.  I am excited to participate in a special "40 day fast" with my church sisters where we are praying for some specific things and each of us gets to sign up for one of the 40 days.  How cool is that?  The only problem is this will probably kick me out of fat burning.  Then it will take 3-4 days to get back on.  So, I may just maintain for this week but I'm still hoping!  Something about fasting with a purpose brings the Spirit into my life, though, which I really need and appreciate.  

It's going to be a crazy busy week full of some great opportunities.

I did already buy some candy for Halloween, but I made sure it was NONE of the stuff I like very much.  NO chocolate.  So I haven't even been thinking about it.

Who's with me for NO CANDY this Halloween? 

~Margene

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Cup Cake RUN

Good Day Friends!!

This morning I got up way early and went to run a Cup Cake 5K.
(And no, I didn't eat any cup cakes! :)


I didn't really train much for this run and boy was it cold this morning.  And of course I had a way late night because I'm smart like that! ;)  With my most awesome hubs there supporting me, I started off at a faster pace than what I normally run... but I slowed down into a pace that was good for me and didn't pressure myself to go faster than I should.


It was a nice, cold run and I finished at 36:12 and 5th in my age group which I'm way happy with, 
especially for not training much!

Tomorrow will be the end of WEEK 1, back on plan.  
So weigh-in will be fun for both me and Brent.  It feels good to be back on plan!  

One of my new fav Medifast foods is the Cereal Crunch!  
They didn't have these back the first time around.  Yum!  And I love the choc. chip pancake!



A couple lean and greens I made this last week was an egg beaters scramble and a taco salad with light ranch dressing.  I always love my lean and greens!
.  
I've had some dealings this week that have also been VERY HUMBLING concerning the specific personal struggles I've been going through.  Sufficient to say, I've been sufficiently reprimanded which I'm sure I probably needed but wasn't easy. :(  

So I got my work cut out for me and I know the direction I need to go.  I know I'm being vague, but just wanted to express that I am grateful for opportunities to do better, even though the means can be painful.  I know I can do hard things!  Just thinking how much I've changed my life in the last two years shows me that I can overcome way difficult situations in my life, especially with the help of my Savior.

Life is GOOOOOD!  
Seize the day, life is short too!

Much love, 
~Margene XoxOxoX

Monday, October 15, 2012

Day TWO - back on plan! :)

I feel good.  
No problems.  
Getting my water in.  
That is key. 
I know this drill all too well.  I've got all the sugar things out of my house as that is what triggers me.  Right now I'm sitting down with my Medifast chicken and wild rice soup. J

I feel in control.  
At least with my eating ;)

I went running again this morning and went up the mountain road.  It was slightly easier today and the view of the valley was gorgeous.  I wish I had my camera on me but it's kind hard to run with my camera.  It was a great run!

During my run, I reflected on my life and current things going on.  There are situations that cause me a lot of turmoil and heart ache.  I am the one who needs to "fix" myself.  But fixing myself means sucking up and enduring MORE heartache, loneliness, and accepting things I don't understand.

I still have a lot of growing and becoming to do with the help of my Savior.  And I will add that I KNOW I am so richly blessed with a loving husband and great kids and a new lease on life!  I know it's the adversary trying to distract and slow me down from making a difference where I can.  He won't win!

Like that video I recently made with my daughter that I included in a previous post below.  I hope one day, He will pick me up and I will be a little smoother in His hands.  And I know that It is a painful process to be made smooth!

How about you?  Do you feel you are being made smooth right now?  How do you cope with heartache and disappointments?

LIFE IS GOOD.
ROCK ON!
~Margene

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Night Out... New Goals

Tonight I got a night out with my man!  We went to a "Witchfest" at a place called Gardner Village.  MOST people there were dressed as witches!  There were some pretty kewl witches too!  It was fun to see all the decorations, shops, and atmosphere.  Reminds me of "Wicked" which is a favorite musical of mine.  It was Wicked Fun!


Then we decided to go to this new Mega Sporting Goods Store that's opened up called:  Scheels.  There was a big ferris wheel right in the middle of the store and all kinds of games and activities all around the store.  It was crowded too!  Pretty massive and awesome!

It's a gigantic Ferris Wheel!!


I found the basketball section.  Pretty sweet! 

This is an actual NBA ball for $70.  

We perused through the running, biking, and rock climbing sections.  I found myself thinking of all my dreams again.  I wanna learn to rock climb OUTSIDE and I wanna get a real dirt bike and really explore some trails around here, and I totally need new running shoes.  My hubs is interested in street bicycles and he'd love to get into that.  We checked out some pretty sweet bikes.  It was fun to look at all the cool sporting stuff since lately, we've been so busy and even gotten a little lazier with our "dreams" and ambitions as thinner folks!

Sooooo.....  we set some new goals!

 We've had a crazy busy summer and we've let some pounds slip on.  I am up from my goal weight to an unacceptable amount right now!  I think it wasn't bothering me much because my lifestyle hasn't changed really... I'm still so active and enjoying my life out of my obesity prison... BUT, I've noticed my clothes are getting way tighter and I'm thicker in my middle.

It is NOT ACCEPTABLE to go in this direction any longer!  

My husband feels the same way.  He struggles with more aches and pains and of course, his never ending stress.

So starting tomorrow, we're BOTH going back on our 5:1 Medifast plan to reel our summer weight gains back in... and then we'll transition back into maintenance.  I felt SO good after we made this decision.  It feels good to have a direction and we somehow brainstormed a way to juggle some other expenses to be able to do this.

I know rock climbing will get much easier when I get some of this weight back off.  And I should get even faster at basketball right when the season hits.  Not to mention that it just feels better to be on plan and feel like I am in control more.  It's easier for me to feel positive and think better about myself and others.  It's amazing how it all connects for me.

Also, I signed up to run a 5k this next Saturday.  I realize that I need to keep signing up for some kind of running or I am too tempted to not go out running at all!  Gotta have something to be training for!  Lately, I've been going without a running buddy, so it makes it so easy to just not go.  Yesterday, I forced myself out and ran up the mountain road again.  I hadn't run that in at least a month or maybe even two.  Dang... was it HARD!  But I pushed through it and ran it even in the rain.  It felt so good.  I remember when I was first running and just building up to that, and was first able to do it.  So inside I know I have it in me, even when I haven't done it in a while.

I still tell myself: "You can do hard things".  It's always the journey... not the destination that counts, it seems!

Well... better head off to bed here.  

ENJOY the season, my friends!  
PONDER all the blessings and positive things in your life!  
Life is GOOOOOD!!

XoxoXoxo ~Margene

Friday, October 12, 2012

It's about the Journey

My journey is ever on-going.  It's always changing and moving and twisting and turning.  And I struggle through similar things over and over and then I get new struggles.  I know it's all about LEARNING and OVERCOMING.

I have made SO many new friends on this journey of health.  Dear Cyber-friends that I get the priveleage to connect with.  I can't name them all, but I am thankful to have met Kath, Alaki, Cindy, and Joyce.  I feel blessed and grateful to be able to meet and make new friends, even if it is only on-line.  :)  Each one touches me in a heart-warming way.

Today, I got an email from my wonderful friend Alaki, who shared some insights she's learned and I wanted to share them.

"Ya know I've heard people say that when you are unhealthy or overweight it makes it difficult to live a healthy spiritual life.  I didn't believe that for such a long time, but after much trial and tribulation I have finally come to a point where I must confess that this is SO TRUE!  Being healthy is so vital to our spiritual growth!  Being unhealthy as I have learned clouds our true reality and perspective of life!  It has prevent me from becoming my very best ME!  I know I have a long and difficult road ahead me but it is so worth it!!  I am worth it!!"

As I read her words, I couldn't help but feel them myself as I have learned this as well.  To say those words to yourself "I am worth it!!" and to truly believe it, is so humbling and amazing and joyful and empowering all at the same time!

Today, I made a video of a song that I've been listening to called "River God".  It is sung by Mindy Gledhill.  I love the message of this song... it's been powerful in my life.  I am like that stone and hoping that through my adversity and trials, one day I can become smoother in God's hands.  My beautiful daughter, Jami was kind enough to pose in this video for me.

I hope you enjoy it.

Much love XoxOxo
~Margene